To tell DF to STFU about my wedding

[AgathaRaisinDetra]

I'm getting married soon. I wouldn't mind a low key wedding but my dad likes to think of himself as a bit of a local celebrity so he's paying for a massive wedding. My mother is just as bad and they keep adding things in to the wedding so it's now a massive 2-day affair and they've invited more people than can fit in the church.

They're paying for all of it as they want to impress my very rich uncle and his side of the family.

There are so many arguments and because my dad thinks he's a VIP, word is getting out and people are being judgemental.

I want to get married to my lovely fiancé. He's the love of my life but people forget that this is our wedding and we're getting married because we love each other, not to show off about how rich or grand or important my dad thinks he is.

I can't say this in RL but Dad!! I just want a quick service, a bottle of Tequila and some Haribos

Why can't you say it in RL? Would your parents take it personally if you insisted on a small wedding?

Have what you want then, fuck everyone else and fuck the consequences.

Elope. That all sounds horrible and if your dad wants to show off he can organise a party for himself.

Well eloping is a possibility but the ramifications may well be more difficult than just sitting down with you Dad to try to get your point across. Sadly your wedding doesn't seem to be about you - try to summon the courage to talk to him. 💐 good luck - failing that, the chapel in Gretna is lovely!!

Who are these people being judgemental and what are they judging?

You can always pull out of any arrangements. You’ll only get this day once. You’ll regret it if the pantomime overwhelms what it means to you and your husband to be.

Can you arrange your own wedding and then tell him?

If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to tell him that.

Btw OP my wedding was similar.

My parents pushed me to get married (very religious) and then organised the whole thing. It was shit. Mind you that might be down to the groom, he’s a bastard.

BUT I also spent the entire day feeling very much like a dolled up goldfish in a bowl being trotted out to people I barely knew that my parents had invited.

Oh no, you're all so nice! I thought you'd rumble me quicker than this

I was reading the £2million on security for Eugenie's wedding thread, plus the bit about the BBC not filming it and so PA is currently in talks with ITV. I wondered what Eugenie's AIBU would be like so I started one.

Sorry

So, AIBU to say "Eugenie, I know you're Daddy's Little Princess, but seriously . Tell him to butt out."

Is your name Eugenie?

Haha can’t believe I didn’t see it! Not enough coffee this morning I think.

Ah, X post

Hopefully, you only get married once.
You should get the wedding you and your fiance want.

suggest to your parents that they throw a big show off party for their Silver Wedding anniversary or something

you are going to have to say something
It will cause more resentment if you don't

I'll think it'll be embarrassing for her! We live in Windsor and there was a massive fuss especially for carriage ride etc. Surely having that again (and so close) but not having near as many members of the public turn up is kind of embarrassing?!

Eugenie, if you want to elope then just do it because seriously the whole country would thank you for it. Especially your granny.

Hahaha, the big reveal happened while I was still typing!

sadly this happens in all walks of life so people are quick to defend you!
So princess Tequila Hariono, what’s your dress like and what are your sis and mum wearing?

*Haribo

You aren't his property, do what you want...I already know I will elope and spend money on a fantastic honeymoon rather than a party that I will hate anyway.

I really don't know What I would do. Presumably you agreed in the beginning and didn't know how to say no. Your problem is not your dad. Your problem is not asserting your boundaries.

It's not too late. Tell him you love him but it's too much and the most important people in this are you and your fiance, which has become second to what he (your dad) wants.

Then suggest all the ways you want to change it. Tell him what you want.

You got this!

If Princess Eugenie did this in RL, she would be such a hero!

Read the OP's update!!!

Oh OP Yabu, Yabvvvu for so being damn subtle!!! 😂

Might as well carry on then....

It's too late to cancel the cheques. My granny runs a mahoosive company and she doesn't like embarrassment so eloping is out of the question. My uncle is going to take over the business and my dad is a secondary director now but everyone still knows us so I still have to be careful for appearance's sake.

My dress is SO pretty!!!!! But I'm changing my mind about an open topped carriage as it might rain and my shoes will get wet. I said I'd take an Uber but dad is insisting on the bloody horse and carriage.