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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stepdaughter unconscious through alcohol - A&E?

105 replies

LittleLionMansMummy · 16/09/2018 00:52

Posting here looking for quick advice please. Dh got called by dsd's friend at midnight saying she was in no fit state to go into town (they'd been preloading vodka). The taxi wouldn't take her. Dh went to collect her, she couldn't stand up and hasn't been conscious since he put her in the car. She's home now (I.e. here, but she lives with her mum), is breathing, he's laid her on her side and is sitting with her. He's not going to leave her, but should he be getting her to hospital? Looked up alcoholic poisoning but it's not clear if what we've done is sufficient or she needs to be in hospital.

OP posts:
NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/09/2018 12:28

What was it like in the 80s / 90s where you live? It was awash with drugs / booze / clubs / etc back then. Everyone going clubbing from about age 14 / 15.

Talking to neighbours with teens they say they spend most time with their friends and do stuff like meals, not into getting fucked off their heads and passing out in some dive in Camden or whatever!

Yes there are definitely regional differences.

I am in north london.

bigsunflower · 16/09/2018 12:30

Glad she is ok but shame she hasn't got a monster hang over to put her off for a bit.

I knocked myself out cold on a toilet after too much vodka as a teen. I was puking and sort of fell and hit my head and cut my lip.

No longer touch vodka, ever!

LARLARLAND · 16/09/2018 12:30

It was alcohol and then drugs where I lived. People got off their heads because they had fuck all and not much of a future. Not much has changed. No idea what things were like in North London because I am in the NW.

YeTalkShiteHen · 16/09/2018 12:30

If that's what she went out in then fine.
If it wasn't then it wants looking into

I definitely agree with this. If she came home wearing what she went out in, fair enough. If not I’d want to check things out.

Leesa65 · 16/09/2018 12:35

Lesson learned for DSD

My drink was spiked once at a party and I ended up practically comatose . Was taken to hospital as it was so not Me and my stomach was pumped out . Totally oblivious to all this I was and next day not even a headache .

Tistheseason17 · 16/09/2018 12:36

Next time, take some video of her drunk to help her remember what she looked like - perhaps she will then reconsider the volume she drinks..

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 16/09/2018 12:40

She didn't even go out? Why are people insinuating she might have been assaulted or spiked by her own mates?

Honestly if I hadn't been there I would probably have had the same response to an ex-husband or step mother on being told that my daughter was drunk out of her gourd. Doesn't mean I wouldn't have read her the riot act or maybe just left her to reflect on her actions. I can't say for certain what I'd do as my kids are younger, but I know my mum never sat up with me when I stumbled in drunk and she never offered any opinions on whether I should be drinking unless it was to tell me I'd brought the hangover on myself.

CurlyWurlyTwirly · 16/09/2018 12:41

Just tried a gentle sternum rub on myself. Definitely hurts. < misses point of thread>

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 16/09/2018 12:41

'reconsider the volume she drinks'? What makes you think this is a pattern and not just a one off?

Tistheseason17 · 16/09/2018 13:45

@DianaPrincessOfThemyscira
I didn't say it was a pattern or a one off? Confused
Both are possible, though, aren't they? And she may choose to reconsider the volume she drinks in either future situation.
What an odd thing to post...

WeAreSailing · 16/09/2018 13:54

How the hell has she not got a hangover?

Raven88 · 16/09/2018 14:04

@Nothisispatrick alcoholeducationtrust.org/teacher-area/facts-figures/

You should call an ambulance if some isn't responding. Even if they mumble and snore they could still not wake up due to alcohol poisoning.

Fluffyears · 16/09/2018 14:17

@wearesailibg I don’t get hangovers. I can drive enough to be off my fave but wake up fine the next day. Some people are like that. My sibling suffered with serious hangovers and vomiting.

Fluffyears · 16/09/2018 14:17

*drink enough to be off my face

LyndorCake · 16/09/2018 14:18

Im in my 30s and only ever got my first hangover on my 30th bday. I used to think that if I didn't have a hangover then I was drinking the right amount. Not the case. Many nights I would have blackouts, not remember how I got home or wake up on strange places. Not safe behaviour at all, but I wouldn't suffer the next day.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 16/09/2018 16:26

@Tistheseason17 well excuse me, it was your use of ‘next time’ that insinuated it.

Lethaldrizzle · 16/09/2018 16:33

I'm sorry for what happened but you're wrong to criticise her mum. The whys and wherefores of parenting are hard enough without one's ex's partner's taking the moral high ground.

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 16/09/2018 18:36

If she wasn’t sick I’d be concerned it was her drink being spiked rather than booze

I've had my drink spiked and was sick for about 18 hours, so not sure where you got that info from

YeTalkShiteHen · 16/09/2018 18:41

I've had my drink spiked and was sick for about 18 hours, so not sure where you got that info from

Personal experience? I wasn’t sick when my drink was spiked, in fact I had to have my stomach pumped.

Original poster
LittleLionMansMummy · 16/09/2018 19:05

I'm well aware of that Lethaldrizzle since I'm a mother to a son and a daughter and have been a step mum to dsd for 15 years. I think I've earned the right to have an opinion.

OP posts:
elkiedee · 16/09/2018 19:07

Lethaldrizzle, this young woman's dad went to get her and stayed up most of the night to check she was ok. He is her dad. He was also the one her friend phoned, or had she already tried her mum and not got a reply or also got a response which left her trying the mum instead? I think that gives him and his DW some rights to question the mum's rather cool response.

elkiedee · 16/09/2018 19:12

LittleLionMansMummy, I agree with you. I was brought up by my mum but saw my dad regularly most of the time, though when I was your DSD's age my dad had also left his 2nd wife, and I saw as much or more of her and her kids (my sister and brother) as I did of my dad. Had I ever got into this situation I think all of my parents and step-parents would have been quite supportive.

Bbbbbbbb2017 · 16/09/2018 19:42

I was unresponsive and everyone assumed I was drunk. I actually wasnt drunk but had been drugged. I know people think drunks are a menace in a and e but sometimes it is necessary

AlexaAmbidextra · 16/09/2018 20:29

I'm sorry for what happened but you're wrong to criticise her mum. The whys and wherefores of parenting are hard enough without one's ex's partner's taking the moral high ground.

Oh here we go. Someone just had to ‘bash the step-mum’ didn’t they? 🙄

Tistheseason17 · 16/09/2018 21:35

@DianaPrincessOfThemyscira
"Next time" infers someone has done something at least once. It was your choice to read more into it.... Love the sarky excuse me! You are absolutely excused 😍

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