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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stepdaughter unconscious through alcohol - A&E?

105 replies

LittleLionMansMummy · 16/09/2018 00:52

Posting here looking for quick advice please. Dh got called by dsd's friend at midnight saying she was in no fit state to go into town (they'd been preloading vodka). The taxi wouldn't take her. Dh went to collect her, she couldn't stand up and hasn't been conscious since he put her in the car. She's home now (I.e. here, but she lives with her mum), is breathing, he's laid her on her side and is sitting with her. He's not going to leave her, but should he be getting her to hospital? Looked up alcoholic poisoning but it's not clear if what we've done is sufficient or she needs to be in hospital.

OP posts:
MadMum101 · 16/09/2018 11:13

Why would you have been round to collect her? Your DH is her Dad, equal responsibilityHmm.

Original poster
LittleLionMansMummy · 16/09/2018 11:16

Because she lives with her and is also equally responsible for educating her about that level of drinking. Her reaction was underwhelming.

OP posts:
SD1978 · 16/09/2018 11:20

Would DH have been right round if her mother had phoned saying she was drunk? I'm still not really seeing why you're so dismissive of her mother for not coming and dealing- would your husband if it was the other way round?

Nothisispatrick · 16/09/2018 11:22

For goodness sake, 999 and ambulances for drunk teenagers. This thread is hysterical.

YeTalkShiteHen · 16/09/2018 11:24

If she wasn’t sick I’d be concerned it was her drink being spiked rather than booze.

Granted it’s been a long time since I was a pissed up 18 year old, but from memory of stopping up half the night with drunk friends I can’t remember one that wasn’t sick after lots of drink. The one time a friend was spiked she wasn’t sick.

I’m glad your DH stayed up with her.

ElainaElephant · 16/09/2018 11:27

Nothisispatrick, tell that to a parent who has lost their child due to alcohol poisoning.

Original poster
LittleLionMansMummy · 16/09/2018 11:30

Possibly because teenage girls are more receptive to their mums? Possibly because teenagers are more responsive to the rp than the nrp as far as discipline is concerned? Tbh I'm not looking for an argument about the difference in dynamics in step family situations. It's very different to 50/50 parenting, which I think a lot of people will recognise.

Anyway, the main thing is she's ok. I suppose it would have just been good to be able to approach the situation in a united way. As it stands, I don't think what we've said will have an impact, particularly as it hasn't been reinforced by her mum.

OP posts:
Dermymc · 16/09/2018 11:31

Your reaction to her mother's reaction is ridiculous. Your DH is her parent too.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/09/2018 11:32

Why didn't she have very many clothes on?

Had she gone out with hardly any on (we were all young once!) or what. Who was she with.

TBH I'd be checking as best I could if nothing had gone bad there.

Glad she's woken up.

I used to drink myself to oblivion at that age too (and for many years later) so while as a parent I have one view, I also sympathise with her.

Hopefully she'll be the sort of person who thinks that was scary I'm never doing it again.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/09/2018 11:33

Whether giving her a good telling off etc will help or not, depends on her personality prob.

Womaningreen · 16/09/2018 11:39

just to say, some of my friends were so hammered at that age, the waking up and not being sick just means they're still drunk.

so she might well be ill later. She might not - my bestie has a cast iron stomach - but just a note really!

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/09/2018 11:40

Yes for sure

She'll start vomiting etc later

It is a good idea to try and eat (not too much) and get a few fluids down and hopefully time to absorb it a bit before it all comes up again!

Pressuredrip · 16/09/2018 11:45

She won't neccessily vomit. I wasn't when I did similar.

picklepost · 16/09/2018 11:46

Good thing she was with you and not her mum.

You sound like a great stepmum. Hope you all feel better soon and that it's given her a wake up call. So scary.

beeefcake · 16/09/2018 11:48

She's 18, she's learned a lesson, we have all been there.

beeefcake · 16/09/2018 11:49

Girls of that age do go out with nothing on.

MadMum101 · 16/09/2018 11:51

Perhaps her Mum has seen it all before. You said her drinking is a concern so it seems she's had previous?

specialsubject · 16/09/2018 11:55

the 'we've all been there' and 'teenage rate of passage' shit is THE MAIN REASON why A and E is so overloaded on a Saturday night. Other people can die because saddos swill too much.

if she did this voluntarily then she needs to look in the mirror very hard.

glad she didn't need or waste an ambulance, and I hope the tiny clothes are what she went out in and that no-one else has been in them.

TrumpsTinyCheesyWotsit · 16/09/2018 11:55

I don't know if its already been said but she is being defensive as she is embarrassed. It is horrible to realise that you cant control yourself as you dont know your limits ( or have made a poor judgement call and intentionally got that way). She probably has "the morning after" anxiety and is wondering just what she did/how else she mortified herself.

Tell her you were scared, worried but don't make her feel any more ashamed than she already is.

RayneDash · 16/09/2018 12:01

She's 18 so in eyes of law she's an adult. If I was the mom I would have a talk to her but couldn't really yell at her.

LARLARLAND · 16/09/2018 12:09

I wouldn’t have a clue how to react in those circumstances so this thread has been educational. I’m glad you dsd is OK now. I wonder what the hell is wrong with our teenagers that they think it’s normal to drink themselves into an oblivious state. This doesn’t happen in a lot of other countries.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/09/2018 12:18

"Girls of that age do go out with nothing on."

No they don't!

OP knows what she went out in. She says she was unconscious and "wearing next to nothing".

If that's what she went out in then fine.
If it wasn't then it wants looking into.

Do you disagree?

Womaningreen · 16/09/2018 12:19

"I wonder what the hell is wrong with our teenagers"

it's not just teenagers. people in all age groups do this a lot.

though these days I can't tell if people are drunk or off their heads on something else.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 16/09/2018 12:23

LARLARLAND drinking amongst young poeple is in a massive decline in the UK.

When I grew up the pubs all let everyone in from about 14, everyone (even the not so outgoing ones) were in the pub all weekend amd loads gettign so drunk they vomited / couldn'y stand up

In the late 80s / early 90s on sunday there would be puke, blood around on the pavements that doesn't happen any more.

There also used to be a LOT more people out - discos, fights, pubs all rammed.

It was a lot of fun TBH but a lot really overdid it really a lot. Lot of drugs back then too.

I think teens are much less "wild" these days they seem to do most stuff online. Round here there are hardly any young people in the pub. Hardly any people full stop. It's much more people at home with people they know. Less mixing of age groups, types of people. I think it's a shame.

Anyway - this is hardly a new story but things are getting less in that direction. I think a stat said 1 in 4 young people don't drink. I found that mind boggling.

LARLARLAND · 16/09/2018 12:24

You definitely don’t live where I live then NothinOnTellyAgain

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