Is it true DD will seriously be disadvantaged and miss out on so much by not going into halls at uni?

[AsherD]

Just that please. She hasn't been there long (in a private studio) and seems to be enjoying it, but part of me is always feeling like she's missing out now because of what I've read on here, so just looking for insight on a thread that is just on this subject.

She sounds happy as she is, doing what she's doing. She sounds like a happy introvert.

Having worked in student accommodation I can confirm that the vast majority of students moved out of halls into private accommodation after their first year. That says it all really!

They often feel pressure to take halls for the first year but regret it the moment they realise it's nothing more than boarding school but with no one to stop unreasonable behaviour from a large majority of the students who've just found freedom.

I hated being in halls. Not in touch with anyone from uni apart from my some of my tutors!

I hated halls. I didn't have anything in common with people in my corridor. It was difficult to communicate with some students there as they could not speak English very well. I felt very isolated and developed depression. I wish I had stayed at home and travelled in.
It was fine though. I remembered that I was not really there to make friends. I was there to do as well as possible on my course and graduate with the best classification possible.
I do think there is a lot of pressure to have this amazing uni experience and it is not like that for everyone.

treacle I think that's what did my head in to be honest the whole "I'm free to do whatever I want whenever" thing and people not bothering to study and different courses having different amounts of lectures/seminars etc - mine was very intensive (you can't work and do the course it's impossible due to work load) but was in hall with people who had one or two lectures a week. I just couldn't deal with it.

It wasn't any better in my third year when I lived with other third years after a year out who were determined to make the most of what they deemed to be the uni experience before graduating, which most people would actually deem crime!

DS had his own room in Halls with an ensuite but a shared kitchen and living room.

They all had lots of support from Student Reception and I felt they were kept an eye on as far as behaviour around Halls was concerned.

She may just be an introvert. I never lived in halls as I was lucky and went to uni in the city near where I grew up. I did live 1 year in a basement suite with 2 roommates but lived at home the other years.

If she's naturally a loner she may indeed need time to recharge at home. That's not something she can change. I'm the same way. I have few close friendships but I'm okay with that. Hubby is similar. (We met online.) Introverts need our own space as we find being around a lot of people draining.

If she's happy with where she is I don't see a reason for her to move. I don't feel I missed out not living in halls.

I got my first degree in a country where halls are not a thing. Everyone had theit own studio flat. We still made friends. Now I'm studying in the UK. I live with my bf but my friends live in halls. The experiences are very mixed. Some love it, some hate it. Some have moved a few times cause of terrible flatmates.

I wouldn't worry if your child isn't worried. Sure, some are bffs with their flatmates but some only argue because they steal and won't clean up after themselves. Halls are pure luck and not a necessity for social life.

It doesn't have to be halls so to speak, but she will miss out by not sharing. I went to a very old collegiate university and in first year was in a very very old house with a dozen others, there were smaller houses of 4-6 all on college grounds, I met some of my best life long friends that year, making coffee at 2am trying to get an essay done, sitting on the stairs eating biscuits the morning after a big night out, going to college for lunch etc between lectures in different departments. I wouldn't change it for the world, even though the building was ancient (lovely but not practical), the pipework old and gurgly and the cleaners smoked in the cleaning cupboard in the basement. It was brilliant. Smaller groups of us went on to share houses in second and third years, including two houses next door to each other. There was always someone to talk to, just to chat, for advice, reassurance, just for friendship. Or was like you had a ready made gaggle of friends and you just added to that with people you met all over. One of my housemates ended up in a long term post uni relationship with one of my lecturemates who she wouldn't have met if I hadn't brought them home after a seminar.

@feellikeanalien Warwick? A friend's sister was in cryfield and said it was based on a Swedish women's prison! Corridors narrow so you can't swing a pouch but big enough for a riot shield 😂

*punch not pouch

MrsStrowman. No it was Kent but I guess they probably built a ot of these halls round about the same time. Description of the corridors sounds accurate except we never had the riot shields!!!

I did and I didn't. Mostly didn't!

If I wanted to stay out at night (London-based), I'd stay with friends who were in halls. So never missed out on the social events. But I don't have a specific (more diverse) group of friends from outside my (very specific) course, which other friends of mine do have and still see.

On balance though, she's not missing out!

I think she'll be fine.

I stayed in halls during my first year. It was mostly a good experience, although a lot of my stuff got stolen, and our communal TV disappeared.

Even in first year, many of my friends still lived at home with their parents. We got to know each other during tutorials, etc, and would hang out after class a lot.
I'd have loved my own studio. I'm a happy introvert, too, so I can totally see where your DD is coming from.

Try not to worry. Uni is what you make of it, anyway. :)

I wouldn’t worry personally. I lived at home throughout my three years at uni and commuted in every day. I still made plenty of friends and made the most of the time I had to socialise, go to events etc. I admit I wasn’t in to the stereotypical student ‘lifestyle’ i.e. I don’t drink and I’m not too keen on going out to clubs and bars often.

I was actually surprised how many people had a similar lifestyle to me - I can’t deny I was a little apprehensive when I started that I wouldn’t fit in. I’m pleased to say I had just as good a time at uni and made plenty of friends.

I went to a university which has been mentioned on this thread already and was all halls for the first year (this is now over 25 years ago). From the first evening there was a ready made group of people to hang out with since everyone was in the same boat. I definitely wouldn't have made the friends I made if I hadn't been in that situation since I would have struggled to just go up to someone and introduce myself. I will be strongly encouraging my DC to go to campus based halls universities.

I loved being in halls and met some great friends, I would recommend to my son or daughter going to uni that they stay in halls for their first year.

Obviously doesn't suit everyone and there are a lot of options but it's all part of the university experience in my opinion.

Everyone is unique. My longest friendship with someone is someone I met in halls. For me, it was a life changing experience.

Incidentally, I hated university and only stayed so long to continue living in halls.

If she is happy, that is all that matters. Personally I loved being in halls my first year, but I was lucky to be sharing with a very nice bunch of people (and I had my own room).

Halls can be utterly grim. I lived in halls in Bradford where one of my housemates shat an empty bath, three of the male students used to spit on the floor and someone set fire to the kitchen by boiling bike parts in oil. It was like a fucking zoo.

Has she joined any societies.

Being in halls certainly makes it easier at most uni's as you're together for meals, can pop in and out of each other's rooms for tea etc. That said halls doesn't always work out. Some uni's separate students into little flats and if you don't happen to get on with your flatmates it's worse than being on your own. Once you've made friends I don't think it will make a huge amount of difference anyway.

My dd relished every day of halls as she’s outgoing and knew half the people before she’d even moved in. Ds is starting in halls now and is the opposite- I’m so worried he’ll just be in his room gaming and make no effort.
As others have said, it really does depend on the personality.

I hated living in halls, far to noisy for me but I don't think I would have like to live in a studio on my own either. After a year in halls I rented a flat with three friends. It wasn't perfect but better than halls. The downside was when stuff was going on in college you would sometimes have to leave early to get the last bus or go back in for a late lecture.
DS was in hall first year, shared flat 2nd year, and halls in 4th year after year abroad. Then own flat for post grad. He was happy in all cases but think being in hall in first year meant he got more involved with university life. As a post grad at Oxford he had the chance to be in hall and turned it down for various reasons. I thought he was mad but it was up to him.

I think she’ll miss out personally. My halls were nice, in London, one person per bedroom with ensuite and only sharing a kitchen/living room. I was never really interested in halls before going to university (I didn’t even want to live in halls), but sort of had to due to high London rent!

Living in halls is just like living with your friends 24/7, it’s not lonely as there’s always people about and something going on. You will make friends with people from other floors, other blocks etc it’s not necessarily just your flat mates. At the start there will be lots of socialising and partying going on so you’ll make loads of new pals. I loved my flatmates, who are some of my best friends now. So many amazing memories from clubbing to just sleepovers and discussing life at 4am. Most of the people I spoke to from university weren’t on my course at all.

I wasn’t shy or anxious about my first day of my course at university as I had already made friends with coursemates, and felt quite confident. You’ll find that even on day 1 of uni, there will be people already in friendship groups as they met through halls. Obviously I made friends with people who didn’t live in halls, but it was awkward arranging things with them if they lived quite far from campus. So it may hamper friendships in that regard