The latest annoying estate agent trend

[KerfuffleShuffle]

Currently in the market to move again and I can't help but be bemused by the latest estate agents tomfoolery when it comes to photographs.

An artsy angled shot of an ornament on a side board. Focused object and blurry background - check

A picture of a colourful pot plant in an otherwise begraggled and weedy garden - check

And my favourite one, a picture showing a kitchen tap turned on, cascading down like a serene waterfall not out of place in a spa promotional. I didn't know a working water supply was a top worry for house hunters.

Also do they know showing - 10 out of 15 photos of one room, 1 of the outside, 1 of the garden and 1 of the far fetched-squint and-you'll-just-see-it-view isn't fooling anyone. It just tells us the rest of the house is a bit shit.

So what are your most favourite or even annoying quirks estate agents and house sellers insist on doing nowadays? Plus, here's a link to a wonderfully quirky but fits list of the above house we nearly viewed.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-67408549.html

Don't forget the stunt tea towels and pineapple.

"I don’t want to see closeups of your lavender bush, your bunting and your cupcakes"

This sounds like a string of euphemisms.

Weird subspecies of the ornament close-ups: close-ups of cuddly toys. Unless Mr Fluffykins is a fixture why on Earth do I want to see him peering through the banisters?

We spent ages looking for a house and became very familiar with the classic shots, the running tap was a personal favourite of ours ! That and yes 500 pictures of the same room because it looked nice when the rest of the house was a shit hole. Also putting up pictures of "local" landmarks that were about 5 miles away in another village, not remotely near and certainly not included in the purchase! Rooms stretched to such an extent that a normal door looks like a double door... Use of lamps in random places like under a sink in the bathroom to create light Etc etc etc

The best one I saw was 3 separate pictures of some ducks (the house was by the canal) wasn't a great house so they stuck some random ducks on there lol! I was totally sold .

The ornament images are ridiculous but the pictures that can often be found at the end of the run consisting of such delights as the outside of the railway station, the town sign or a random field are a complete waste of time too.

EAs moving the actual postcode of the property to bump up the price and make it sound more attractive. However, when you check the map (or know the area well) it's actually in the less salubrious and cheaper adjoining area by a couple of miles too.

So, WHO lives in a house like this?

Well their kitchen is very clean so they either don't like cooking or love cleaning. Or have found a bloody good cleaning service. And they spend a LOT of time in that kitchen, they want you to look at it a lot.
And they clearly like a pint or two of real ale.
And they like water.
And they have all sorts of kinky habits involving sliding down banisters.
And they love arranging furniture. Very tidily. Even at the bottom of the garden.
Their hobbies include manhole cover rubbing and spying on the neighbours houses from above.

So who lives in a house like this?

A wide lens being used! Making the room look like the size of the queens bedroom when in reality it’s the size of a aeroplanes toilet.

Oh, and photoshopping bright blue skies on to the outside shots. Same EA, different properties, front and back garden shots, in different areas, at different times of the year all with the same two white clouds scudding across a lovely blue sky. With the same vapour trails too.

I viewed a house once with a friend who was looking to buy. The toilet lid was up - the toilet was filled with ROSE PETALS!!!!

I knew the area a house was in.
Picture was before the hedge, taken from drone and we went looking for it...
I drove past it twice. We drove o to the drive, you couldn't get out, or turn. Backing up the bend was not fun.
The garden...OMG.it was ten feet wide then had a thirty foot bank of a hill behind it as a back fence. It floods a lot 750k

@enko
My jaw dropped when I saw the house and the price too.
Im from SE also. My house is a 4 bed detached. Probably worth about 350k now but would probably fit inside that kitchen!!!

And don't the Americans pay people to 'stage' houses for sale?

Often the real estate agent will do this without the seller having to pay extra for it. I think that there are even courses available for them to take to learn the basics. Every house we have sold has been staged to some extent.

Please will someone post a link that works? This is driving me insane!

Those shots of a humungous builder's barn of a place in the dark with all the lights blazing. 'How very vulgar,' as the dowager Countess of Downton might say.

Still, I suppose all those oligarchs, people smugglers, drug barons and ex communist plutocrats who have robbed their countrymen blind have to live somewhere, poor darlings.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-67408549.html

try this

The video tour 🤣 it's like a Homes under the Hammer reveal!

DS3 works for Foxtons & told me they purposely don’t give floorplans because their aim is to get people to view properties. Often prospective buyers take 1 look at a floor plan & decide it’s not for them, whereas if they go and look at a property they see that it could be right for them. That’s the theory anyway.

But they wouldn't do it if it didn't work.
The Instagram generation is obsessed with stock images and airbrushed reality over reality. They are trading in their memories for an imperfect medium. A plate of cupcakes next to an espresso machine in close up with a vintage filter is what ''generation now'' is sold on. It is all about the picture.
Engaged? No. You are not. At least unless there is a social media post in B&W or sepia against a sunset on a beach with your hands joined in a heart made of seashells on the sand.
Married? Not unless you have done a YouTube viral of the guests copying something that someone else did on YouTube...like an ironic Gangnam, or everyone in Nazi uniforms and Corbyn masks.
Pregnant? No. You are not. Not without a picture of a bun, in an oven, with both of you pointing and grinning like idiots.
Dead? No. You are not. Unless there are crowd-funded tweets from Z-list celebs marking your shuffling from the mortal coil over slow, minor-key piano, like some John Lewis Yuletide abomination...
Trading in your reality for an imperfect medium.

And the same happens with holiday cottages!!! I don't want to see close-ups of your ornaments or your mirror or bunting; I want to see how big the kitchen is, how many comfy seats there are in the lounge, and how big the dining table is! Not a close-up of a breakfast tray set on the bed...

Thank you, outnumbered, you're a ⭐️.

My little local area one man used this technique to sell his house!
www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39265883/this-man-has-dressed-as-a-parrot-to-sell-a-house

Inventing an adjective that doesn't exist: bedroomed.
"Three bedroomed house".
NO.

Outnumbered, that was epic. I imagine that the ex pub was once a very nice house that a psychopath developer got hold of. I particularly like the exterior picture of the drain cover. And that GIANT over tiled bathroom! Wow, just wow. Thank you.

This Has always been one of my favourite carefully angled shot!