To be a bit annoyed/upset about this

[lastqueenofscotland]

Hear me out I’ve had a long week... so may be making a mountain out of a molehill

I am vegan have been for quite some time. Everyone knows and I’m not preachy about it and try not to be awkward about it, won’t rifle through packaging checking for errant milk powder if my friends have cooked something and even in places with no vegan food will go and order a side salad or something to be sociable.
I’m away all weekend for a friends 30th in a big hired house so self catering.
When it was being arranged people were talking about catering and what people wanted to eat I said straight away I’ll bring my own food as I didn’t want anyone to feel put out by me. Told not to worry/everything could be adapted.
Just arrived here and informed we are going out for dinner and due to the group size we’ve preordered, which I wasn’t informed about. And someone has ordered me a hallumi starter and a cheese-based main. When I politely mentioned I hadn’t been told I got really dismissively shut down by my friends older sister who said that it wasn’t their fault I was a faddy eater and everyone else is just having a set menu and I’ve already been awkward needing something different.

So as not to drop feed I did have a long term ED through my teens and a totally unprepared for REALLY high cal meal of stuff I can’t eat anyway has put me in a real spin.

I’ve had a really rough week but I just want to say fuck this and go home now
Aibu to be a bit upset.

Dangly I think she’s just preordered for everyone she’s been a bit of a witch about a few things when we were in the planning stage

Unfortunately you're being lumped in with 'vegans' like my in-laws (who eat fish but no meat, eggs or dairy), last time they came for dinner I made sure I accommodated them fully cooked kedgeree from scratch, no eggs for them made raita from soy yoghurt etc, made a vegan apple pie with oatly cream or custard for dessert, at extra effort and expense only for them to demolish half a box of chocolates after dinner that my mum brought round, she told them immediately they had butter, cream, eggs etc in them in case they thought they were bought specially, both just said that was fine and carried on!
I feel for you as I have other friends and family who have genuine dietary needs or preferences but get viewed similarly as being faddy. Try not to let one ignorant person ruin your weekend.

Yanbu. I would be quietly pissed off if someone ordered for me. I don't even have any special dietary requirements and will eat almost anything. (Except pineapple and goats cheese. Those are rank).
Stick to your guns. What do birthday girl or your other friends think of her rude comments?

She sounds overly defensive for being caught out at being crap.

I genuinely think no one else would feel the way she does even if you’d only just become vegan and even more so if they just met you. Well, no decent person anyway.