Is DH unreasonable for forcing DS to quit his paper round??

[evensd]

Our DS is 14 and is extremely driven to work hard. I don't honestly know where it comes from! We work but we love a day off and might complain once in a while about our jobs

DS started with a paper round at 13, it's 5 mornings a week, the guy will give him leaflets to do in the afternoon if he wants for extra money. I know there's set rules on hours they can work but most of his jobs are private arrangements.

He feeds some guinea pigs on the weekend, cuts the grass for someone else on the Saturday. Volunteers for the wildlife trust young people's bit on Saturday afternoon.

He doesn't show any sign of tiredness and thrives off it. Doesn't see his mates much out of school but it doesn't seem to bother him.

DH has made him quit his paper round which means the leaflets too and apparently it's "not negotiable".

He's in the wrong, isn't he?

Why did he make him quit?

He thinks it's too much

Without his reasoning it's pretty hard to tell

Is it making him too tired for homework or studying?

Does he have safety concerns?

Both valid reasons for having your child give up his round but surely worthy of discussion.

What were his reasons for making him stop?

On the face of it it sounds brilliant that your DS has such a great work ethic. However, is your DH concerned that it might be interfering with his school work or other commitments?

I remember when DD went in to VI form the school said that they were happy with the pupils having a part time job but they strongly discouraged anybody doing more than 8 hours a week as they said it would affect grades.

Sounds like he's being totally unreasonable. If your son is happy and healthy and your husband doesn't have any serious concerns for him (like those mentioned above) then silly to force him to quit if he enjoys it. Your son sounds like he has a great work ethic and really spends his free time in a constructive way. I was doing much worse as a teenager, my parents would have been thrilled if their biggest concern was that I loved working!

If DS likes it and it isn't impacting on his school work then I would say ignore DH.

Of course it is negotiable. YOU tell DH it is DS's own choice to make. If you are on DS's side here.

I don't understand why your DH wants him to quit, too much in relation to studies etc? Is your DH proposing giving him money instead of what he earns?

DD is nearly 17 and is still doing her paper round! She had two weeks off over GCSE's but otherwise does it 6 days a week. She has stuck with it as she sees it as relatively easy money, she is out for about 40 minutes each morning, and it has never impacted on other things she wants to do.

I suppose it's hard to say without more info but I think he is being unreasonable. Your ds sounds great! I would encourage it once his school work didn't suffer and once he saw friends at weekends. If he is happy then I don't see a problem

I'm very shocked and puzzled as to your Dh's reasoning!
Paper rounds are like gold dust round here, and also ds1 is probably too lazy. The fact your ds is so driven and committed is commendable.

Does he think he is being taken advantage of and not being paid properly for the work he is doing?

Unless there's more that you aren't saying your DH is an unreasonable arse.

It sounds like your son is managing everything really well and I’d be proud of his work ethic! Especially at his age.

Unless there’s a massive drip feed, I think your H is being not only unreasonable but also really unfair.

Where was your voice in the discussion, what do you think?

That’s very strange. Your ds does a lot but if it doesn’t impact on your ds’s studies then it’s fine. I hope your dh is now going to pay your ds the same amount of money as he would have earned. Otherwise he’s bvu

The not negotiable thing would piss me right off.
Why is his opinion more important than yours or DS?

Why does he think it's too much? Need more info?

Is he not getting with time to study, tired at school or too tired at night , no time for friends/fun or with interfering with family arrangements? Did your dh need to do anything to help him like drive him too/from shop?

He’s very wrong, you gotta foster that thrive to work!! My mum and her sister grew up on a chicken/beef farm and every morning before school they were out collecting the eggs. Good for him!

my dd loved her paper round, active, over in the morning. whats not to like, why on earth should he quit?

Is he worried he isn’t seeing his friends/doesn’t have any friends outside of school?

You offer no context for your husband's decision. Your son is about to start studying for GCSEs. I can understand that your husband will want him to devote less time to working and more time to studying. this academic year and beyond are far more intense than any other your son has experienced before.

I support your husband's decision.

If my dh had put his foot down like this there would have been a bloody good reason and i wouldn't have gone against it. Was it a pain getting cover in the holidays? Paper round pay is shit, does he want him to earn more? I would back up your dh but talk more to him about why.

Agree we can't possibly tell without knowing your DH's reasoning. Is it that now he's (presumably) in Y10, DS needs to concentrate more on his school work? I would still say he was wrong to make it non-negotiable but at least there would be a reason. My parents made me give up loads of extra-curricular stuff at the same age as they insisted it was interfering with my studies. I very much resent them for it, and I do think it was the wrong decision - I was well on top of my work, sensible enough to realise of my own bat if I was doing too much, and not having any extra curricular stuff to do just made me bored.

Why does he think it's too much? School work suffering?

It does sound as if he might be doing too many hours. You can take the view that most of his jobs are private arrangements. Alternatively you could take the view that he is a child and you are his parents and should look out for his welfare, as seems to be your DG's opinion.
www.gov.uk/child-employment/restrictions-on-child-employment