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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Please tell me (kindly) if IABU...

70 replies

SailAwayWithMeHuni · 13/09/2018 21:44

DP said he was going to add engagement ring to house insurance yesterday morning.

I said ok, although I’m not sure if that’s the best thing to do as any claim for the ring will increase the premium on the house.

DP got unnecessarily angry about me putting obstacles in his way and not bothering to research what I’d said.

Calmly talking this evening about yesterday’s silly row and DP apologise and said that he shouldn’t have reacted yesterday but it’s a job which has been outstanding for too long and he just wants it sorted. He then asked why can’t I take it on and sort it.

I reply no problem I will sort it.

DP asks me when.

This question has really annoyed me and I won’t answer but I’m not sure if I’m just being unreasonable because he has got my back up about the whole thing.

So AIBU or would it annoy you too?

OP posts:

NotTheFordType · 13/09/2018 22:54

Him: Got you this ring babe. It's worth 20k so don't wear it out of the house
Her: OMG SQUEALING
Him: Hi, yeah I'd like to amend my policy. Can you remind me what the total value of jewelry was before? Oh.... £20k. OK Just leave it as is.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 13/09/2018 22:54

Nowhere near enough info to jump to any conclusions here. The DH was going to sort something until OP stopped him. The DH could be a total, controlling arse, equally the OP might be a procrastinator and the DH has had enough. We have no idea.

Havaina · 13/09/2018 22:55

Op said he complained she was putting up obstacles on something she hadn't researched, which to me implies he had.

I don't think it does necessarily and OP says in her latest post that 'I (wrongly) assumed he may have already looked into as he insured an expensive watch last year, so it sounds like he hasn't researched.

Havaina · 13/09/2018 22:58

paddling

You know some people of both sexes can be right or wrong. There's no need to jump on the men must always be wrong and women are always are downtrodden.

I don't think anyone has said this, paddling, or jumped on men must always be wrong. Can you quote a post that said this?

findingmywaytoday · 13/09/2018 23:00

If it helps when I looked into insurance buying separate Jewellery insurance quotes were much more expensive than simply adding ring to house insurance as large named / valued item.

Re the tone of what he said, I've been guilty of this with my husband as he tends to park things. Not out of any malice, he just sometimes doesn't get round to things. Ever. Not saying you've been unreasonable but just get it insured asap as ultimately it'll benefit you both.

CommanderDaisy · 13/09/2018 23:01

I wouldn't stress it too much - though you are probably correct in that it will increase your premiums.
My DH is a great one for ignoring all admin and mail for months, ( I pay all bills etc), then leaping around getting all" I'm in charge of admin , I know what's going on, it must be done now" for a week or so.
I just "yes, dear" him - and ignore with the odd eye roll behind his back. When there's something, like your situation and he's banging on about it alot - I just tell him either to do it himself or that I will get to it when I have done A, B, C, D, E etc.

We removed my engagement ring from our house insurance policy as the value of diamonds has shot through the roof lately and it did increase our premiums to silly amounts. What cost $5,000 AUD 17 years ago is ALOT more valuable now. I just don't take it off.

Havaina · 13/09/2018 23:02

paddling

Nowhere near enough info to jump to any conclusions here. The DH was going to sort something until OP stopped him

We have enough info to know OP did not stop him, paddling, you're just choosing to ignore it. OP clearly says she voiced a concern in case he had already looked into it. From OP's last post, it looks like he didn't look into it.

category12 · 13/09/2018 23:03

I said implies.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 13/09/2018 23:04

Ha Ha!!! Urm tone and inference.

Anyway I'm off to bed with the admin King...unquestioningly of course.

Havaina · 13/09/2018 23:04

I've read diamond engagement rings depreciate in value quite badly because most people want a brand new ring.

Havaina · 13/09/2018 23:06

I said implies.

That's spectacularly vague. What's your point?

Havaina · 13/09/2018 23:08

Ha Ha!!! Urm tone and inference.

Also very vague. I don't blame for running to bed with admin king if you can't argue your point, paddling. Goodnight!

Singlenotsingle · 13/09/2018 23:11

Why is it so urgent all of a sudden? Is he planning on making a claim?

category12 · 13/09/2018 23:19

You said "I don't think it does necessarily" and I pointed out that I had noted in my post that it was an implication I'd drawn from the op's first post. Not a fact. Simply, IF [he researched and she didn't] is true, THEN [I can understand him being pissed off].

You seem to have a bit of a bee in your bonnet.

It's impossible to tell (at time of writing, who knows what's been posted in the meantime while I construct this sentence) if op is hard done by a bloke who can't bear to be questioned about his King admin role, or if op second-guesses everything he does all the time and he got mad, or loads of options in between.

Havaina · 13/09/2018 23:29

Ok, category, I meant that I don't think it does imply that.

Not sure why my responding to you is me having a bee in my bonnet but you responding to me is fine?

I didn't say you should know what's being posted as you type, just pointing out that OP has updated.

CommanderDaisy · 14/09/2018 01:42

Havaina not my experience. It's the value of the actual stone, not the ring per se. Rings can be restyled easily.
The diamond I have has gone up to about $35,000 AUD according to a recent valuation. Freaked me out.

Passingwords · 14/09/2018 01:51

Read your policy, it may already be covered - what's its value, the single article limit Is important on policy as is have you got cover outside the home or not as you'll need cover away from home.
He gave it to you as a symbol of love and may be taking your inference that it's not worth wasting money on insuring as you not loving him

AustralianMumof2 · 14/09/2018 02:23

The time spent getting on the internet to talk about it could have been spent actually doing it

Blendingrock · 14/09/2018 03:08

Sounds like you are both under a bit of pressure and possibly taking things to heart more than you perhaps would normally?

He's asked you to sort it, presumably he has a good reason why he hasn't been able to. You've said you'll sort it, so just get it done. Shouldn't take more than a 5 minute call to your insurance company.

burnoutbabe · 14/09/2018 08:06

I'd be annoyed as it sounds like this is an admin job he has put off for ages and now suddenly it's your job and he wants it done NOW!
which is pretty much like a boss employee relationship.

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