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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please tell me (kindly) if IABU...

70 replies

SailAwayWithMeHuni · 13/09/2018 21:44

DP said he was going to add engagement ring to house insurance yesterday morning.

I said ok, although I’m not sure if that’s the best thing to do as any claim for the ring will increase the premium on the house.

DP got unnecessarily angry about me putting obstacles in his way and not bothering to research what I’d said.

Calmly talking this evening about yesterday’s silly row and DP apologise and said that he shouldn’t have reacted yesterday but it’s a job which has been outstanding for too long and he just wants it sorted. He then asked why can’t I take it on and sort it.

I reply no problem I will sort it.

DP asks me when.

This question has really annoyed me and I won’t answer but I’m not sure if I’m just being unreasonable because he has got my back up about the whole thing.

So AIBU or would it annoy you too?

OP posts:
Original poster
SailAwayWithMeHuni · 13/09/2018 21:58

I agree this is a whole lot of drama over something very basic! I’m very strong minded which is why I wanted to take a step back from the bickering and get a reality check.

I guess I’m annoyed that me even having an opinion on the insurance was such a bad thing yesterday but today he passes it over to me and wants me to answer to him on when I’ll do it.

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 13/09/2018 22:02

I am pretty sure I live in a parallel universe to some folk on here.

Havaina · 13/09/2018 22:02

Eh? Its our admin. He's the admin King in our house. When I get asked to do a small task usually related to me (like the OP's ring) I get irrationally annoyed...usually because he's right, it needs doing and it doesn't always have to be him.

Ok, but that's you. OP may not think getting the engagement ring makes economical sense. If her fiance wants to get it insured, and OP agrees, then he should do it instead of harassing OP about it.

And for all we know, OP sorts all the other admin in the house.

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2018 22:05

Eh, so, you fight over petty crap like ring insurance, but, are ,,,going to get married?

ZeroFuchsGiven · 13/09/2018 22:06

DP said he was going to add engagement ring to house insurance yesterday morning

Can anyone please give me an explanation of what ops dp done wrong?

Rebecca36 · 13/09/2018 22:08

When jewellery is stolen and insured, what you get from the insurance company is vouchers to be used at H Samuel, Ernest Jones or somewhere else beginning with S I think. Anyway that's what we had when burgled many years ago. Quite generous but I wasn't able to find another engagement ring like mine. Mainly used the vouchers for gifts.

Ohyesiam · 13/09/2018 22:09

O think if I put every small tiff or interaction under such a forensic gaze I would’ve tempted to leave, and be forever single.
Choose your battles

Wauden · 13/09/2018 22:13

Probably best to just get on and sort it as soon as possible either way. You dont want it insured, he does. I would be tempted include it to be on the safe side. Hope it all blows over soon.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 13/09/2018 22:17

This is not about the ring value; this is not about the insurance.

Please try and find out what's really going on under this before you marry. (Hint: the first thing you might tell me is that I'm jumping to conclusions. I still stand by my words.)

LittleMy77 · 13/09/2018 22:18

Take it from me, if you accidentally flush it down the toilet never to be seen again, you'll really wish you got your insurance sorted out!

I can't see the problem tbh, if I was him, I'd be doing the same

NotTheFordType · 13/09/2018 22:19

AFAIK (and used to work in insurance) with most insurers unless either the individual ring is worth more than 10k, or the total value of the ring included in other jewelry insured pushes you up into the next bracket, there's absolutely fuck all point in declaring it.

What does your insurance terms leaflet say?

Surely it's not worth more than 10k. And if it is, why the fuck are you worried, you must be literally coining money or pushing it out of your various body parts. If it's the first large single purchase you've made maybe it should have been on something more sensible read through your insurance policy, together, and decide whether it's fit for purpose or whether you need to go to some bunch of old school wankers one else.

category12 · 13/09/2018 22:19

Well you should have let him do it the way he wanted, or get on and do it yourself.

Havaina · 13/09/2018 22:22

Category12

So OP is not allowed opinion on whether they spend their (presumably joint) money on increased insurance for the ring? Why does he get to decide and 'do it the way he wanted'?

AnnieAnoniMoose · 13/09/2018 22:23

If I were you I’d make it a LONG engagement, to see if you’re actually well suited in a relationship. Love is NOT enough. Sometimes you love someone but operate so incredibly differently that it’s just not possible to live HAPPILY together...the urge to bury them under the patio gets tiresome.

MrsStrowman · 13/09/2018 22:24

Unless yours is a six figure ring why wouldn't you put it on the home insurance? Also double check your policy, ours is cash/cheque rather than vouchers for high value items, my ring isn't very very expensive but it is quite unusual and wouldn't be easily replaced at a high street jeweller and DH built his own computer that couldn't be replicated at Curry's so we made sure to get a policy that wouldn't just give us high street vouchers. I'm not sure what he's done wrong, he very logically wanted to add your ring to the insurance policy, you made a big fuss so he said well you sorry the insurance out then, but you don't seem inclined to, he's probably concerned you won't bother to make a point, and then if it's lost, damaged or stolen he'll be expected to pay to replace it, hence asking when you're going to sort it out. It all sounds like a fuss over nothing. YABU

MrsStrowman · 13/09/2018 22:25

Oh and my ring didn't increase our premium

NonaGrey · 13/09/2018 22:28

Erm. This is literally a 5 minute phone call to the insurance company.

It’s pretty normal to list expensive items. We have several named items (including jewellery) on our household policy.

I really dont get why this is even an argument.

category12 · 13/09/2018 22:30

Havaina, if he's right that she hadn't researched it (and he has), then he has the perfect right to be pissed off that she's second-guessing him.

Atalune · 13/09/2018 22:31

Lord. You sound like hard work.

BuntyII · 13/09/2018 22:32

Sounds like he needs to remove the stick from his arse.

Original poster
SailAwayWithMeHuni · 13/09/2018 22:39

I’m not making out that this is a big LTB worthy row, it’s just a minor disagreement which will blow over. Every couple has disagreements and as I imagine everyone does, I was reflecting on my stance and wasn’t sure if I was in the right so I sought the opinion of a third party.

This wasn’t about the actual insurance of the ring (although advice is appreciated as I have insurance to sort Wink) but to clarify some of the misunderstandings:

I want the ring insured
I’m not opposed to it being on the house insurance I just said I didn’t know if it was the best option
I didn’t stop him, I just voiced a concern I had which I (wrongly) assumed he may have already looked into as he insured an expensive watch last year

OP posts:
DeborahDowner · 13/09/2018 22:41

If it’s worth more than whatever the threshold for named goods is on your policy, put it on the home insurance. Don’t argue, just one of those things. It’s really a common and normal thing to do, whichever of you makes the call. We have a number of named items in our insurance cover.

If it’s not worth more than £2000 realistically I’d seek other options than home insurance if it was crucial...

Havaina · 13/09/2018 22:43

Havaina, if he's right that she hadn't researched it (and he has), then he has the perfect right to be pissed off that she's second-guessing him.

Category12 If he has researched it (and OP doesn't say he has) then the correct response to OP's concern that it wouldn't be economical would be to allay Op's fears and explain why it should be insured, instead of getting angry about it. He disn't ask OP to research it so why do you think he is right to be pissed off at her? Is your DH also the admin King in your house and He Who Must Not Be Second Guessed?

category12 · 13/09/2018 22:49

Is your DH also the admin King in your house and He Who Must Not Be Second Guessed? Grin Hardly, Havaina. Grin

Op said he complained she was putting up obstacles on something she hadn't researched, which to me implies he had. If I had spent some time looking into something and decided on the best course of action, and partner came along and said "yeah but..." without having put any time or thought into it, I might get a bit arsey. (Of course if he hadn't done any research and was just going in half cocked, she has a point.)

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 13/09/2018 22:50

Just told DH he is being ridiculed as the admin King!!! He is similarly ridiculed at home. Love it. You know some people of both sexes can be right or wrong. There's no need to jump on the men must always be wrong and women are always are downtrodden. Its pretty demeaning to women.

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