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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend doesn't want DS seeing me riding a motorcycle

26 replies

Gronky · 13/09/2018 19:32

A long term friend has recently asked me to not ride my bike to their home when I visit because her DS (who's 17, I think, terrible for me not to know exactly, I realise) has started to show an interest in motorcycles and she's aghast at the idea of him riding one. It's a shame because the road to her home is a lot of fun and, if anything, I'd have thought the sight of me on one would make it seem less cool to him. I even joked to her that she should take up biking to ruin it for him (her reaction showed this to be a mistake).

I'm going to respect her wishes but it still seems somewhat unreasonable and I really can't see how I'm going to influence him in any significant way. If he's already interested, I'm fairly sure I'm going to get blamed if he does get one and inevitably has an accident (probably not a serious one but almost every new biker will have an accident at some point).

OP posts:

Secretsquirrel101 · 13/09/2018 19:35

Oh for goodness sake, she’s utterly unreasonable. In the nicest possible way, you on a bike won’t convince him one way or the other, she’s just being daft.

That being said, I’d do anything I could to convince my kids not to ever get on a bike. I’m unreasonable too

NoLeslie · 13/09/2018 19:37

No way I'd want my teen on a motorbike. I would do anything I could to dissuade him. He is far too keen on things that go fast and wouldn't be at all sensible.

Original poster

Gronky · 13/09/2018 19:42

That being said, I’d do anything I could to convince my kids not to ever get on a bike. I’m unreasonable too

I fully understand this sentiment. For the price of a really bad condition, slow used car, you can purchase a machine that will turn any small, poor decision into an object lesson in physics. This is also the reason I love them.

For reference, I don't have children and would be pretty proud if my cat managed to successfully operate a motorcycle.

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SilverHairedCat · 13/09/2018 19:45

What a crock. How long have you been riding? Has he seen you on the bike before?

What do you ride? I'm on a 650 Bandit at the moment!

Original poster

Gronky · 13/09/2018 19:50

SilverHairedCat, 5 years, VFR1200. I started because I was jealous of the bikers turning up at work just before the start of the day while I had to arrive an hour early in the car to get a parking space. He has seen me on the bike before.

I love the simplicity of the Bandit.

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M0veOntheG0 · 13/09/2018 19:57

It is a weird attitude. In some other countries you see parents and 3 children on mopeds with no helmets. Where most people ride mopeds or motorbikes and very few people can afford a car. I had my first moped at 16, bigger bikes at 17 onwards.

SilverHairedCat · 13/09/2018 19:58

So you've not exactly had him jumping on your bike for the last 5 years as a pillion... As if you're going to influence him at this stage, along with every bike he passes on the street... She's a bit hysterical. Park it up the road when you visit!

Just don't buy him his CBT for Christmas. 😂

The Bandit is OK, but I want a cruiser. I used DH's Shadow 750 for a year, but my legs were too long for it (he's a short arse, has had his Street Triple lowered so much I can't ride it!) and I miss the riding position. The VFR is lovely, nice long leg stretching, ideal for distance.

Original poster

Gronky · 13/09/2018 20:08

So you've not exactly had him jumping on your bike for the last 5 years as a pillion

I've never had the confidence to carry a pillion at all. It seems too much like letting a passenger place their hands on the steering wheel.

Park it up the road when you visit!

Thank you for the suggestion, I'll see if she'll compromise (I can put my gear in the luggage to fully hide the 'sin'). I'm pretty short, which is why I went with the VFR (I went with the 1200 partly because of a mad speed lust and partly because my bottom fit on the wider saddle better than the 800 ), the pegs are pretty darn high so while it's not sports bike territory, I wouldn't call it leg stretching compared to my previous CB500.

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Oysterbabe · 13/09/2018 20:11

YANBU but my children will have to climb over my dead body before they can get on a motorbike.

Numbkinnuts · 13/09/2018 20:23

I would say that the DS is more likely to listen to you about what to do or not to do re motorbikes rather than his Mum who knows nothing about bikes.

You could speak to him and he may listen to you about how to take motorcycling seriously.

californiascreaming · 13/09/2018 20:28

Another school of thought (in our house!) Is that learning to ride a bike before a car will teach kids to be better and safer on the road in any vehicle - because if you are on a bike your vulnerability means you have to ride defensively and carefully. Particularly with today's play station generation that need to learn that crashes can't just be reset - there are physical and financial costs to being gung ho...
Anyway i don't ride yet because my cbt lapsed as i got pregnant, but I am old enough that I can ride my little Honda monkey bike on my car licence!!!

DuvetCaterpillar · 13/09/2018 20:30

He's 17 - if he wants to go get a CBT and ride a bike, he's going to do it regardless of whatever you do - it's not like she can hide every bike in existence.

If your friend really thinks you can influence her son (and I'm a bit sceptical - who listens to their mum's friends at 17?), suggest that it would be better if you spoke to him about biking so he 1) gets trained properly rather than messing about illegally on a mate's bike and 2) you can make sure he gets proper protective kit rather than jeans and trainers. He might surprise you both and be a really conscientious rider!

FuckKnuckle · 13/09/2018 20:31

Off topic, but...

For the price of a really bad condition, slow used car, you can purchase a machine that will turn any small, poor decision into an object lesson in physics.

How beautifully put was that? @Gronky, I think I love you...

Pacific · 13/09/2018 20:38

Ha! Your friend is on a hiding to nothing there! Far better to get him proper kit and training rather than mess about in a car-park on a mates' bike. I had a group of boys go 'Whooaarr' outside the local high school today when I went past on my bright red VFR today. I lifted my visor and grinned at them and burst their bubble when they saw I was an old granny riding!

Original poster

Gronky · 13/09/2018 20:39

and I'm a bit sceptical - who listens to their mum's friends at 17?

I think I have about as much chance of making something seem cool and appealing to a teenage boy as Ann Widdecombe does (and as much chance of making him take them seriously).

californiascreaming, I agree with that but I can understand a parent wanting their child to be in a big metal cage if they make a bad decision (even if it could be argued that it's a little selfish to other road users).

Thank you, FuckKnuckle, that's quite a direct username you've chosen.

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Original poster

Gronky · 13/09/2018 20:40

bright red VFR

That's the only colour a VFR should be (though I did like the pearl white, even if it was a bit of a Panigale rip off). I assume that's the 800? My 1200 is mode of a deep red.

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Pacific · 13/09/2018 20:48

Yep. 800. Love it. Got a big sports exhaust on it too so it makes lovely noises.

Original poster

Gronky · 13/09/2018 20:51

Sadly, the 1200 compromised on sound compared to the 800 to put the two rear cylinders inboard. It's still a V4 noise but it's more of a heavy drone than the beautiful rasp your 800 has.

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Pacific · 13/09/2018 20:57

Yes, my pal has a 1200. It's really a different beast from mine, much more of a tourer. The 800 is marketed as a tourer but I bought it because I wanted something low, sporty and fast. I love it although it sometimes scares me! I sometimes arrive at work pumped on adrenalin after having an object lesson in physics!

Original poster

Gronky · 13/09/2018 21:06

I think the 800 is a tourer in the sense that you can ride it more than 100 miles without wanting to cry. It's a lovely, agile bike. I'd say the 1200 is more of a guided missile: ludicrously fast and stable (limited to 165 but will do that with full luggage without a hint of a wobble, naturally I only do this on the autobahn) but terrible at transferring from one corner to an opposing one (it will hang in the corner very happily but needs wrestling to get down there).

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Pacific · 13/09/2018 21:21

Sounds fun! I can assure you my VFR has never gone above 69.9 mph. (This is mumsnet after all.)

Original poster

Gronky · 13/09/2018 21:24

I can assure you my VFR has never gone above 69.9 mph

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Defrack · 13/09/2018 21:30

Can you get loads of mates to pull up with you on their bikes

Figural · 13/09/2018 21:35

How beautifully put was that? @Gronky, I think I love you

You beat me to it FuckKnuckle! A nice poetic turn of phrase, Gronky.

Original poster

Gronky · 15/09/2018 15:01

Just a little update: I've spoken to her today and she agreed that she overreacted a bit. I'm still going to park around the corner since it's not a huge inconvenience for me.

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