Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

AIBU to think DH is being very harsh on our DS

46 replies

GrannyRoberts · 13/09/2018 19:10

DS, 4 years old was signed up to start with the local football club youth team, training starting this evening. He likes football and was keen to play, however as the time has approached he's seemed more and more nervous about it. Just as he was about to leave with DH for the first training session today, one of his front wobbly teeth got a little knock and went sideways, really flappy, hanging on a thread etc. DS panicked and got really upset, which resulted in them missing the window to go to the football. DH was really angry, withdrew from our DS said to me (out of earshot of DS) that he's turned into a little wimp. I'm shocked, can't believe how little empathy DH showed and how childish his own behaviour was. AIBU to think calling a 4 year old a wimp for getting upset/worried is harsh? Or am I just overprotective and a bit soft?

OP posts:

PhilomenaButterfly · 13/09/2018 19:11

Blimey! He's 4!

pineappple · 13/09/2018 19:12

He's only 4! Yanbu!

Hidillyho · 13/09/2018 19:12

Sounds like the type of dad that doesn’t think boys should show emotions.
It’s a real dickish thing to say about a child

eelbecomingforyou · 13/09/2018 19:12

Oh god. Your h is going to be one of those dads who thinks football is the be all and end all...

Yes, he’s being too harsh. Your ds is 4. Your h needs to grow up.

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2018 19:12

God that's really mean, what a tosser I have no words. Who says that about s four year old. And gets angry in this scenario.

I'd watch him if I was you. Because if he does this at 4 what's he going to do at 14.your home will be a battle ground.

littlecabbage · 13/09/2018 19:13

YANBU. I recommend talking this through with your DH tonight, to nip this kind of attitude in the bud.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 13/09/2018 19:13

Prick

ConciseandNice · 13/09/2018 19:13

Your DH was an utter knob! He’s a wee boy!! What shameful behaviour from a father.

Believeitornot · 13/09/2018 19:14

Yanbu

I’d have bollocked my dh for that sort of talk.

Tricorne · 13/09/2018 19:15

YANBU. Husband is being a twat and probably over invested in the idea that this was a the first step towards DS becoming the next Harry Kane and now it won't happen because he missed his inaugural training session.

Disclaimer : I may be projecting slightly because my 'D'H has proved himself to be a selfish and self-absorbed wanker this week and I have little sympathy with the male position at the moment.

Shutityoutart · 13/09/2018 19:15

That is a horrible thing to say. Would he say the same if your ds was a girl?!!
He’s only 4!

Rebecca36 · 13/09/2018 19:15

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable.
Why do some fathers want their kids to be 'tough' at such a young age?
Poor kid is only four. There will be other opportunities.

dlnex · 13/09/2018 19:16

No you are not soft or overprotective.
A tooth hanging off is yucky!
Your DH needs to get his head around giving DS options about what activities he might want to do. DS might prefer something more sedate and that is OK.

WhiteCoyote · 13/09/2018 19:18

Your dh is more of a wimp for using such bullying language on a 4 year old.

Fucking disgusting and he needs to be told.

oblada · 13/09/2018 19:19

He's only 4!!!! Your DH is being an ass! My 4year old daughter is still very much a baby, random whims and tantrums, very strong willed and stubborn, also very shy and withdrawn at times. You can't reason with a 4yrs old, they are dealing with big emotions!

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2018 19:20

I bet your husband wouldn't have been so keen to play football if it was his tooth that was hanging out.

I hate people who bully little kids, by getting angry and withdrawing that's what he was doing. Showing the little boy his displeasure, punishing him for it.

Your son will learn from that. A lesson he should never have to learn in this context.

At four they are still babies, they don't have to be tough guys playing football with their teeth hanging out, ffs.

Quartz2208 · 13/09/2018 19:23

He is a bully

Original poster

GrannyRoberts · 13/09/2018 19:23

Ok, as I thought, he was being a prick! I'll try and talk to him later about it. He's not normally like that at all which is partly why I was so shocked. Maybe over invested in the football thing, as Tricorne said. Still no excuse though.

OP posts:

Pythonesque · 13/09/2018 19:44

Agree with all above.

If you live near me can I get you to sign him up for violin lessons to help keep the balance? Muah ha ha ha ....

(coi current violin students include two 4 yr old boys; mind you the football player is one of the older girls)

Viviennemary · 13/09/2018 19:48

He is only 4. Your DH is being ridiculous. And I think four is very young for football and doesn't sound as if he's ready for it if he was nervous before it even started.

Dollymixture22 · 13/09/2018 19:50

You need to address this now. There is nothing wrong with boys showing emotion, being shy or nervous. Think how many adult males have issues today be abuse their dads insisted they needed to toughen up.

Your son sounds like a perfectly normal child. Your husband, on the other hand, is a prick

BerriesandLeaves · 13/09/2018 19:52

Does he think "boys don't cry" or something?

Dollymixture22 · 13/09/2018 19:52

Oh and kids football can be a nightmare. I once witnessed a gorwn man shout useless little shit at a seven year old boy who missed a goal. Then yelled at the coach to take him off the team.

Classy.

moredoll · 13/09/2018 19:55

YANBU
I often walk next to football pitches where children and teenagers play. Lots of men are way overinvested in their sons' football games. Lots of shouting and some get really angry sometimes

Your DS might be picking up on this and getting anxious.

LemonSqueezy0 · 13/09/2018 19:58

Crikey hope this is one off twattish behaviour rather than his genuine personality.... Your poor son deserved so much more today....

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread