To ask who gets final say on medicating child if parents disagree?

[ShowerOfMonsters]

Split decision parents.
Recommendation from professional.
Paediatrician not convinced it's necessary.
No official diagnosis, just a high probability.
Child is 8.

With Ritalin based medications you can see very quickly if they are working or not. My DD tried it and I could see the difference on day one.
I would convince the other parent to agree to a trial and then let the child have a say in whether it helps or not.
The side effects aren’t pleasant but disappear with discontinuation.

Why not give it a trial and see?
If it is ADHD then the right meds can work miracles (as in my DS case)

If it’s not and the meds aren’t effective then you can simply stop medicating, no harm done.

If you are in the UK then there would have to be a thorough assessment of your child first before a conclusive diagnosis would be confirmed by a consultant. You and the school would also have to complete a Connors assessment.
Only then would medication be looked at as only a consultant can prescribe meds for ADHD as they are controlled drugs.

Giving medication trial is a good idea if it's suggested as it is short acting and you can tell fairly quickly if it's of benefit or if the child has any side effects. Anyone trying them would be put on a very small dose to start with and then increased to find the optimum.

The main thing I feel as the parent of two children with ADHD who take medication is that life would be intolerable without it. They are able to be social, active, fully functioning children who now get the most out of life.
I have had no problem in deciding that we should use medication for our children after all if they were diabetic would we refuse to medicate them? I can't see the difference.

If the paediatrician is willing to support a trial if you as the parents agree, then it must at least be close to equipoise. Age 8 you've got "space" to try it, try without it again, and be guided by what happens both at home and at school.

(I've also heard about the enormous benefits used properly in some children, from my mother who was a psychology trained remedial teacher for years. It was very sad though to hear of a teacher that insisted one child was being given "far too much" - because it was a higher dose than about half a dozen others in the class who were also on it!! ie those ones almost certainly didn't need it ...)

They have been telling us to medicate our 7 year old DD. DH and I refuse to do so. We have spent a lot of money and found success via high dose omega 3 and CBT with an amazing therapist who primarily works with teens and young adults with addiction. Add is about not being able to control impulses. It's not too far removed from addiction IMO, based on the progress we have seen with this therapist. She is as tough as nails but it's been excellent for DD.

This article talks about omega 3 dosage for ADHD.

Nordic naturals do a strawberry flavour liquid which my kids like. Not cheap but I see a difference in behavior when it's taken consistently.

He has had 4 assessments. Each has come out borderline ASD. The latest assessment they floated the idea of adhd-inattentive (which I believe Ritalin is less effective for).

Want2bSupermum

ADD/ADHD are neurological disorders, they can’t be controlled by CBT which treats psychological disorders, or by ‘trying hard enough’ and to suggest so is bloody offensive. If you think your DD has been miraculously cured because she has taught herself to control her impulses then she never had ADD/ADHD in the first place.

Personally I wouldn’t go down the medication route until you know what it is you are dealing with and other options have been explored. (And I say that as the Mum of a medicated child!)

under With all due respect, I know my child and I'm not saying she has been cured. I'm saying that approach has been successful at helping her learn to control her impulses. Medication is pushed too early ImO because it's an easy way to say you have done something. In reality CBT can really help and has helped our child.

Want2bSupermum

Has your DD been diagnosed?

Your understanding of ADHD is confused.

Well, I’d say that if the paediatrician doesn’t want to prescribe then that’s the decision made as it’s the paediatrician who does the prescribing. If the paediatrician becomes more convinced then the other parent may be more convinced so it might all sort itself out.
Hope it works out OP

I,would trial the medication

Ed psychs are not medically trained and shouldn't be recommending medication.
ADHD/ASD/Attachment issues all massively overlap. Has your child always displayed the specific behaviours you're worried about? Have these behaviours increased following the conflict/divorce/split from parents? NICE guidelines say behavioural interventions should be the first approach. Other evidence based approaches which have been successful include mindfulness and even CBT for some associated/underlying difficulties which may be impacting on behaviours (e.g anxiety). There is no longtitudional evidence on the impact on these types of stimulants on the developing brains.

Paediatrician disapproving or OK with prescribing but doesn’t think it essential (take it or leave it)??

What's the paediatrician's preferred option?

Paediatrician trump's psychologist imo.

I didn’t want to use medication for adhd.
Was recommended by dr. as he said child would be unable to get a good education without it.
I finally decided that it was worth a try but if it wasn’t working or if child didn’t want it I would stop.
Within a couple of days of taking it school reported back that he was producing more work and able to engage more.
We just medicate during school time, not at weekends or holidays as it affects his appetite.
I’d say give it a go, nothing to lose.

Nah, it's really not just about impulse control. It's executive control, working memory and a load of other stuff. In the group I'm in where the adults struggled so much as kids, it's sad to see how damaged kids were by the adults refusing the frontline treatments.

Masking is incredibly tiring.

I was really pretty anti-medication until I understood it better. It's really short-acting but very controlled, so I can't see the issue with a trial.

Watch Russell Barkley's vids on You Tube and also How to ADHD if you haven't already. I mean OP here, other people won't change their minds if they're convinced they're right.

Ime (divorced parents) mother gives the medication and simply doesn’t tell dad. Child isn’t medicated on visitation days. Lord knows what would happen if the child needed emergency treatment while in dads care - as far as he knows the child isn’t on any medication, let alone a fairly heavy duty anti psychotic.

^Ed psychs are not medically trained and shouldn't be recommending medication.
ADHD/ASD/Attachment issues all massively overlap. Has your child always displayed the specific behaviours you're worried about? Have these behaviours increased following the conflict/divorce/split from parents?^

Didn't stop her recommending it to the school before she spoke to us
ASD not a surprise, ADHD only mentioned at the last assessment. No conflict/divorce/split from parents.

There is no longtitudional evidence on the impact on these types of stimulants on the developing brains.
^^ this.

Paed will prescribe if we both agree. Would also refer us to a psychiatrist who knows more about types of medication if we want to go that route.

So asd has been borderline and now they suggest adhd? Ime it's been symptoms have had to be really clear and consistent for dx.

ADHD meds are not without risks. There is some increase in risk of stroke for the future.
The PP who said the meds are completely irreversible is incorrect.
If ADD is not diagnosed I would proceed with extreme caution and listen to your Paed above an ed psych any day.
(mum to 2 ADHD children medicated since age 5)

I'm an adult with ADHD too.

I've been told that it's totally safe to trial stimulant medication and if it's having no effect or adverse effects it can be stopped with no long lasting consequence. Whether that's true or not, I don't know - but it was told to me by a doctor in the context of me having it.

I've also heard through Russell Barkley who is a leading expert in the field that there is some (limited) evidence that ADHD medication use in children actually tends to lead to lower incidence of symptoms as an adult, ie, the idea that children "grow out of it" seems to be truer if they have been medicated. One other theory about this is that children who are medicated never develop the utterly crap coping mechanisms and defaults that adults with undiagnosed ADHD invariably carry with them.

It's quite clear which way I lie - but I would say for somebody who had concerns a short trial might be a compromise they are willing to look at?

I do think it's an utter travesty that ADHD medications have been demonised so much and seen as "zombifying" children or making them passive for the benefit of adults. I wonder if it would be worth both of you seeking out an ADHD parents support group and asking for the experiences of parents there, good and bad? It would probably be helpful to try and separate the reality from the media hype.

There is some increase in risk of stroke for the future.

Do you have a link for this?

But no one nas diagnosed him Noeuf. They are suggesting his profile is consistent with ADHD- I and recommend we try medicine.

I'd have another talk with the paediatrician,asking all the questions you want answered. Personally I'd go with the psychiatrist first.