To be embarrassed at my work based emotional middle aged woman wobble.

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

I am 5 months into my first job since I started having children 14 years ago. Going ok so far have mostly kept my shit together. In fact I have been told I should be confirmed in post pretty soon (6 m probation). Anyway, small issue this afternoon, needed to speak to line manager before calling back client. A bit stressed but I was not feeling too bad about it, little annoyed that I had overlooked something. I was wearing a pencil skirt then made the mistake of running up the stairs, stumbled and banged knee. Cross with myself I continued to upstairs office to speak to manager and I felt myself tearing up and getting flustered. Knee throbbing and just red faced and a bit all over the place ... Not the best way to communicate and I totally lost my thread. Sooo embarrassed. I got my message across and got the info I needed from manager and was able to call client and log necessary info etc etc. But ugh.

I hate losing my shit in front of colleagues especially the senior ones. I just have to suck it up and laugh it off but I really hate it. Please give me perspective. I know I am not going to lose anything from getting visibly flustered but it was a tad humiliating and I don't deal well with that. Ugh.

I had a tricky conversation with my boss and whilst I wasn’t actually crying all these tears kept coming out of my eyes. It was weird. No sobbing, just tears. Loads of them. Mortifying.
It’s all fine though now. We’re all people with emotions and bad days sometimes

If it was prompted by a physical injury then I don't think it will be filed under ''emotional''.

I teared up a bit 3 months in to a job when a bitch coworker wrongly accused me of losing a file and told me crossly ''i'm not taking the hit for it''. Charming. It was found on the desk of her team member.

It happens.

Is it very hierarchical or do you see boss v rarely? You don’t need to worry at all!

As my boss said to me yesterday when I asked if she had any tissue and qualified it with for my cold - I'm not upset,
It's ok if you are, everyone's human.
Nevertheless I too would be embarassed - Christ I apologised for becoming a shovelling mess when I had to ask to leave early to take dd1 for a potentially life changing docs appt last week.
You're not alone - but we really shouldn't worry about such things!

Thank you folks. You are kind xx

I know it is all nowt about nowt. But I just felt a bit vulnerable as I had missed something, then stupid and clumsy for banging my knee and that combined with the fact no one saw me fall means I probably looked all emotional. So I had to explain I was actually just clumsy and in pain.

I am in regular contact with line manager and we all muck in so it wasn't me feeling scared of boss.

It happens! We have all had those days. I can’t think of a single friend who hasn’t had a terrible day at work, I myself have had a few tears in the loo cubicle on occasion.
You’re only human, we can’t be ‘on’ all the time and sometimes our masks slip in professional settings. I’m sure your manager knows and understands that. Also it sounds like you handled it quite well, you got the info you needed. I’m sure it was nowhere near as bad as you thought.

Years ago when I was first starting my career I had a really difficult conversation with a client. I essentially had to tell him the funds in his pension hadn’t performed very well and the value had gone down - something he knew was a risk when he opted for high risk investment. He called to check the balance and when I told him the figure he was furious, shouting and swearing and accusing me of ripping him off. He then demanded I tell him the value on specific dates so he could work out when the drops happened. I was very flustered from his initial reaction and fumbled a bit getting the figures which made him angrier. I felt myself getting red and upset and ended up asking a senior colleague to take the call for me. I ran out of the office crying to the break room. A few colleagues came after me and comforted me but I was so embarrassed to have made a scene and seem ‘weak’. Looking back now I should’ve told the client speaking to me that way was unacceptable and he should call back when he was calm, but I was young and inexperienced and 99% of our clients were pleasant so I was caught off guard. But it didn’t matter, nobody thought badly of me for it, it was a bad day. Now I’m older and wiser I wish I’d hung up on the bastard..

Oh I do feel for you! I cried once at work while insisting “I DO NOT cry at work” because I felt ill but had too much work to leave. We’re all human. Write it off as a shitty day at the office and be kind to yourself tonight. I’m sure you’ll laugh about it eventually.

You are human ! And you showed vulnerability

That’s all there is too it

The fall can also leave you feeling a bit shocked and wobbly- contributing to the tears. We've all had those moments. I fell on an edemame bean (true story) in Liverpool Street station years ago and lay there in shock for a few seconds until some kind strangers picked me up

Bless us all - I work in an advice role. Helping people in serious situations and with real problems, DV, debt, homelessness etc. So I think I judge my own vulnerability more harshly as I constantly see people with much more to cry about. It is always easier to forgive other people's foibles than my own.

You're fine OP, we're all human.

I burst into tears randomly in a large board meeting full of important clients, because my cat was v ill.

I explained why. They were kind. Most humans are. If people are unkind then they can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned ✌️

The first time I went to meet one of our senior managers I tripped over on the way badly scraping me elbow and knee then bursting into tears of embarrassment. So the first part of our meeting was him administering first aid via sticking plasters and offering me tissues! He hasn't held it against me though.

God reading kind messages is making me tear up. I really am emosh! Thank you though.

My poor boss has to deal with one of us crying at least once a week for various reasons. It happens!

Things get to you sometimes. I’ve cried a few times at work this year alone, and after coming back from a week off due to anxierty one of the calculator cunts (our pet name) from finance called me regarding a purchase order / information I had passed to a vendor. The chap in question is an obnoxious little prick but was telling me the information I had gave out was incorrect and I was making the finance team look bad (when in fact I was giving out information passed on from his team!) I held my own for a while but I just started crying and had to put the phone down on him, stormed out of the office wailing “Why so people think it’s ok to talk to you like shit around here?” Stormed out of the building, receptionist was flapping around worrying. My manager had tried calling me but I’d missed her call (I had just gone to cool off). She said we all break down and cry, it’s human nature and it’s shit because it’s not a sign of emotional weakness it’s just frustration and that’s how you (I) display it. Chin up, dust yourself off and don’t get it linger!

Don't worry OP...it happens. I sobbed the other night (at home, to my DH admittedly) because my boss of 2 years, whom I really respect and admire and talk to pretty much daily about everything - TOLD ME OFF.

We have a lot of stupid politics in our v small firm, and he essentially told me off for not being more assertive with one of our known troublemakers (a fellow director). I was mortified, mainly because he was absolutely bloody right. I think I was crying because I am not naturally assertive, and being told to "toughen up" cut to the very core of who I really am. It means that I am not ok as me.

But when I cried DH told me not to be a baby, which made me laugh. It's passed now. Tomorrow will be a better day!

I’ve managed many people over the years and had quite a few criers! For all sorts of reasons. You’re still human at work so don’t worry about it!

Big, I managed someone once who had been horribly bullied prior to my arrival there, and had time off sick. I did her return to work interview and she was terrified of going back to her desk. She was so upset and I felt so bad for her that I was nearly bloody crying myself. Not a great trait in a manager, empathy-crying!

OP, its ok really. Please dont beat yourself up.

Wish I could still wear a pencil skirt!

Oh bless your heart. I am also new at my job but a bit different as came straight from working elsewhere for a very long time. The culture is different and the people are new and I often find myself just being a bit awkward in conversation, trying to get to know them etc and then kicking myself for just not landing it every time. I’m senior and not an awkward person so it escapes me why I sometimes just feel so goofy!

In your case, especially if you injured yourself they shouldn’t be concerned! These things happen!

I cried at work, after I took a difficult and distressing call from a bereaved parent. Cried all over my manager, who gave me tissues and told me they would be more concerned if I DIDN'T react like that in the face of that suffering. It's hard to be vulnerable with your colleagues but if they're a nice bunch it's no problem.

I've cried when I got a call from the clinic confirming I wasnt pregnant. I cried when in was so upset with work life. I was embarassed but a along as it is not a habit, I dont think it is a problem. My direct report a 50 year old engineer cried twice last month due to bereavement. We are not robots.

Of course I started my period a couple of days later, explaining both my clumsiness and emotional fragility. Cos hormones. I have been more balanced and not had any wobbles. Cheers.

Glad you're feeling better about it now. :)

I had a bad day on Friday, following a stressful few days. Cried all afternoon off and on, as people noticed I was upset and them being nice started me off again. I came onto my period that night, which is what I'm blaming, and not my lack of organisational skills that were probably the main issue.