To be embarrassed at my work based emotional middle aged woman wobble.

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

I am 5 months into my first job since I started having children 14 years ago. Going ok so far have mostly kept my shit together. In fact I have been told I should be confirmed in post pretty soon (6 m probation). Anyway, small issue this afternoon, needed to speak to line manager before calling back client. A bit stressed but I was not feeling too bad about it, little annoyed that I had overlooked something. I was wearing a pencil skirt then made the mistake of running up the stairs, stumbled and banged knee. Cross with myself I continued to upstairs office to speak to manager and I felt myself tearing up and getting flustered. Knee throbbing and just red faced and a bit all over the place ... Not the best way to communicate and I totally lost my thread. Sooo embarrassed. I got my message across and got the info I needed from manager and was able to call client and log necessary info etc etc. But ugh.

I hate losing my shit in front of colleagues especially the senior ones. I just have to suck it up and laugh it off but I really hate it. Please give me perspective. I know I am not going to lose anything from getting visibly flustered but it was a tad humiliating and I don't deal well with that. Ugh.

I am always crying at work and one of my bosses ( female) is lovely.the other one ( young, male) always looks mortified.

Recently I was harshly told off on a conference call. I held it together but once the call ended I burst into tears infount of my team. I then called a colleague to help me fix the issue, started crying. He then told a senior mgr who called me to check I was ok, that set me off again. Then a call from my boss, cue more tears. Although terribly embarrassed, it was nice so many people cared!