How does your DP/DH respond when he sees you crying?

[Imsotiredofyou]

Do you get consoled or dismissed? Does he wipe your tears with his hands or write it off as crocodile tears?

AIBU to ask?

Just doesn’t know how to respond to a crying woman.

Sorry is he 12?

If I'm crying my OH will hug me until I feel better.

OP crocodile tears no one should ever accuse you of that. My ex did the first time he saw me crying and I firmly told him that if he believed that I was faking my upset then he should stop seeing me. After that he knew if I cried I was really upset and needed comfort . (Pre baby!)

Post baby I cry at the drop of a hat. Baby is now 22

If I'm upset and cry about something, no matter what, DP comforts me and hugs me. Sometimes he gets upset and cries with me.

I would have zero respect for any man t
Who dismisses my tears as nothing or pathetic.

When these kinds of men cry, they think their tears are worth more because they're seen less often. They expect support and reassurance and sympathy. Those men can FOTFOSM.

Tears are the result of emotional overwhelm. You can become overwhelmed feeling any emotion very fully. Such as being angry or happy or guilty or whatever.

Mine just states facts as to why I'm crying, he never gives me a cuddle it's weird lol

DH usually ignores me as I'm very embarrassed by my inability to not cry at everything these days (pregnant). But, if it's something serious, he'll give me a hug.

Mostly, he pretends that he hasn't noticed. Or maybe he doesn't notice, I don't know. I rarely cry anyway unless I'm sure I'm alone.

I cry when I'm angry and would hate my husband to acknowledge my tears then.

I cry at ads on tv, tv programmes about dogs, babies, toddlers, old people - you get the idea - and we both laugh at me.

If I am crying because I'm remembering something sad/missing someone/etc he will hug me and make me a cup of tea.

My husband acts a bit embarrassed, not sure quite how to cope. He is an introvert and I am a very emotional extrovert. So even after 20 years he still gets blind sided by how easily I cry (at TV adverts, visits to school, sad stores etc).

He will usually give me an awkward kind of hug usually. It's an area of life he is unfamiliar with!

When the cause of the tears is something more serious, such as the death of my parents, he will manage a better response.

I've never seen a crocodile cry! It's almost impossible to make yourself cry, unless you are a great actress/actor. I think when people talk about crocodile tears they mean you've stopped managing to stop yourself crying!

Always supported, given a hug and a listening ear. I remember one particular incident while pregnant where I was being completely unreasonable (basically couldn’t make a simple decision as I didn’t like the options...). He was definitely annoyed with me and let it show. I burst into tears and he just let the annoyance go- realised it was hormones. He listens, every time. I tend to deal with anger and stress by crying, I never yell. I’m not ashamed about it, it’s a normal response.

That is what partners do. They support each other when things are tough. I do the same for him when he is stressed- no matter what. I couldn’t cope with someone who couldn’t support me in that way.

If I am crying over TV, an advert or something silly he usually smiles at me because he thinks it's sweet.. I cry over silly things on TV often.

If I am crying because I am really upset he will talk it through and hug me.

Hi honey, hope you are ok...

Husband number 1, always wrap up in arms to comfort. Stay quiet and let me get through it

Husband number two, less openly affectionate. Took him years to understand I needed his hugs and reassurance.

Neither husband ever mocked me or called crocodile tears.

"Very embarrassing I realised I look really ugly when I cry so wouldn’t blame DH if he wanted nothing to do with me whilst I cry!"

Showing emotion is human, please do not be embarrassed.

I doubt you looked ugly, and even if you did (which I am sure you did not) so what, my dh saw me after our child was born with all manner or medical issues looking fucking appalling, I think I deserved love (a lot) at that moment.

My daughter and I watched this when she was about 11...

It was actually Benedict Cumberback shouting Be brave that got me!

I cried, she didn't, we are all different.

I usually get a cuddle and asked what’s wrong, and then we talk it through.

He hugs me and lets me cry it out

I didn't get a job and took the call whilst I was with him. Held it together for about half an hour and then broke down in tears.

He took me in his arms and kissed the tears away. I've never had anyone do that before. Was lovely.

We're currently breaking up. Love each other but want different things blah blah blah.

😢

He is always very consoling. He asks what is wrong. Says sorry (in case it is because of him or something he has done). Gives me a cuddle or a kiss etc. Then he often ends up horny and gets embarrassed when I tease him about being a perve (it does cheer me up though).

I get:

1. accused of crocodile tears orbeing manipulative if it’s during an argument (I cry when the emotion builds up)

2. stared at if crying at something that upsets me, if not in an argument. Maybe a gentle pat will follow

3. bewildered looks if I cry at something silly like a tv commercial. Fair enough with that one!

Can I borrow one of those ‘scoop up’ DHs for a cuddle next time I need a cry? Would love that

DH gives me a hug, and he used to try to fix things, make suggestions I'd already considered or try and make me smile (which is sometimes a bit annoying), I have said to him if I'm upset about something especially if it's not something he's done I don't need him to fix it I just need him to be there for me, which has helped a lot, he will still try and often ask if I want a drink or cup of tea (reminds me of big bang and Sheldon offering a hot beverage). I generally don't cry much though so I think it freaks him out when I do, so he panics and wants to make it stop, since being pregnant anything can set me off some days, tv, a book I'm reading, when the cat is being affectionate... Those ones he ignores a bit now, which is fine

Mine is very uncomfortable with crying generally and my crying specifically. He would look uncomfortable, pat me a bit and make me a coffee as that normally cheers me up. however he has always been like that and it is what I expect him to do. If I think a hug would help I hug him and he then hugs me back and pretends his shirt isn't getting soggy. I cried a lot after my miscarriage and when my mum was ill - less so in recent years!

It depends why I’m crying. I cry a lot.
If I’m crying at a film or tv, he passes me a tissue and sometimes laughs at me. But he cries at the news and at the occasional film, too.
If I’m crying with genuine upset, then he sits me down, often on the floor, and hugs me until I’ve calmed down. Then it’s tissues and a nice cup of tea.

I think mine thinks the angry crying in arguments is manipulative too, ditto when I was pregnant. I didn't used to cry much at all pre pregnancy so guess he thought if I didn't do it before, I must be able to control it now? Sadly not true.

TotHappy

Same for me. Started in pregnancy. Funny how much it changes us.

For all these people saying they wouldn’t ever cry in front of anybody. Firstly why? And secondly how do you control it? It’s just sometimes when people are overcome by emotion it’s not always something we can control especially in a traumatic situation.

Ignores me if I’m crying at an advert, in your example he would be alarmed and hug me.

Why does it matter what you look like you cry?

I very, very rarely cry, for any reason. If I were crying, DP would know there was something very seriously wrong and he would want to know why I was crying.