To find this a bit meh . Regarding my friends dc at Xmas.

[HowCanThisBeRight]

We were having the Xmas chat the other day. And we were both saying how excited we were. Her because her 3 eldest 23-19-18 are coming home and she has a 10 +6 yr old too.
And me because it's my dd first Xmas., my DS not with his dad and we have dps dd.

I was saying about the ideas I have for kids etc.
And she said we'll my kids will not have toys or anything. Just clothes.
I asked why but confused and she said oh well they're always on their xbox, play station and I pads they don't play toys. So I got rid Of it all.
She then said they have x box, play station, tablets, pc, 32 inch TV each room with Netflix.(, phone for eldest) So there's nothing they need or want.

I felt a bit sad as I can imagine. Parcel after parcel Being clothes would be a bit meh for a 6yr old.

And also feel a bit sad that there's no imagination to play or Coloring or whatever.

I know this is none of my business and everyone does things differently, and I'm not judging. I just feel it's a little sad that, a few yrs ago a 6+10 yr old would of lived lego etc and not needed loads of tech to be entertained.

Don't get my wrong my DS is nearly 13 and he likes his tech. But it's limited.

Oh god I hate that twee poem. And it's going to be quoted ad nauseum on here for the next few months. Great.

Anyway, YANBU for feeling a bit sad for the child, but I'm not sure what you can do. At least clothes are a practical (if unexciting) present.

The child is 6 though. Apart from a bit of Lego what toys would they have?

Hot-wheels, marble runs, puzzles (loads of 3d puzzles, logic games for kids), board games, hexbugs, art stuff (pens, colouring books spirograph, paints, canvases, sand art, mozaic kits etc), sport stuff, model cars, trains, aircraft, spaceships, space toys, construction toys, books, comics, journals, science kits. Not every kid will be into all of that but it would be unusual for a 6 year old to not be interested in any of it.

I'm judging even if you aren't!

A 6 and a 10 year old with NO toys! Only electronics. I think that's awful.

The child is 6 though. Apart from a bit of Lego what toys would they have?

My son is nearly 6 and he has lego, cars, trains, colouring, role play toys, outdoor toys, board games, puzzles etc

He uses the ipad daily (no other games console) but still plays with all his toys daily.

I think it's a bit odd that both the 6 and 10 year old have no other interests outside screens.

One of my DSes (7) would happily have loads of screen time (TV and games on a telephone, we don't have any consoles) but we restrict it, so he also plays with his trains, cars, ninjas, soldiers, light sabres and running around with his little brother playing with cushions and blankets.

The 4 year old joins in some of his brother's games but has very different tastes and prefers lorries, motorbikes and duplo. He doesn't like screens much and will watch 10 minutes of TV before finding a toy to play with.

They both love cooking (play and real).

Sure we've had some misfits in presents, but also friends have bought them toys for their birthday that we never would have chosen and they've been real hits. Sometimes you have to trial and error when buying toys.

I never played with ‘toys’, as such. I read books and played sport. I’m glad my parents let me do what made me happy in my downtime.

I never played with ‘toys’, as such. I read books and played sport. I’m glad my parents let me do what made me happy in my downtime.

I don't think anyone is suggesting forcing toys on kids! Surely at Christmas you got presents which matched your interests (books and sports stuff). I don't think anyone's suggesting you buy mountains of useless plastic just that it's sad if a child only enjoys screens.

If you weren't judging why did you come on a public forum to comment about it.

"Hot-wheels, marble runs, puzzles (loads of 3d puzzles, logic games for kids), board games, hexbugs, art stuff (pens, colouring books spirograph, paints, canvases, sand art, mozaic kits etc), sport stuff, model cars, trains, aircraft, spaceships, space toys, construction toys, books, comics, journals, science kits."

Ds2 doesn't have any of that anymore. We cleared out his toybox and sold it all at a car-boot we did last month, because he wasn't playing with it anymore.

Even then I was concerned that neither ds1 nor ds2 now has ANY toys.
Now I am see how judgemental you all are, I am doubting our decision even more.

I'd totally judge that.

Not for the older kids obviously.

But the 10 and 6 year old, that's awful.

My 10 year old doesn't play a lot with toys anymore but occasionally he still plays with his action figures. My 7 year old plays with her toys all the time...she will spend hours with her Lego, dolls house and playing schools as well.

I suspect your friend does this because screens are tidier than having toys all over the place... sad.

The friend didn’t say that they don’t need toys because they’re so busy doing sport, art or reading did she? She said it was because they have a variety of devices and screens so I think it’s safe to say that’s what they spend the bulk of their spare time doing.
It’s sad that some people think that 6yos are too old for toys. My son at that age was still into his cars and train sets. Even now at tween age he enjoys playing with slime, science kits, magnets, electronics set, Lego, pinball, board/card games. Although if he had a tv with Netflix in his room no doubt he wouldn’t bother.

My dd6 has tablet but usually only uses it 30 mins before bed, the rest of the time she is playing with her toys. My DS was the same. He’s a tech head but still plays with Lego, action figures etc.

My youngest gets very few new toys as he already has older siblings toys galore. I can well imagine that if I had 5(?) children the younger one might not need loads of toys at Christmas.

But the six year old some well thought through toys and make his Christmas special if you disagree with her, ignore the list and buy what you want to buy. Of course she is entitled to her view, and you are entitled to yours. So live by your own values and ignore her

Does anyone else find it heartwarming the level of support is for judging in this thread?

I find it sad that grown adults are ashamed of having the ability to exercise their critical judgement and forming opinions.

Give

I kept all of DS1's old toys for DS2. And discovered that even when DS1 hadn't played with a toy for months on end, he would often come back to it again. If he'd been the youngest child, I'd have passed the toys on so I'm glad I noticed that. Consequently we keep things a long time.

My DB and SIL have a habit of buying toys far too early for DN (for his age) and are very quick to sell things on when he hasn't played with it for a while (as he has LOADS of toys). SIL say recently that she regretted doing that with some toys, as DN was coming back to them again.

My eldest (8yr ds) doesn’t really play with toys anymore and I might have cleared out the toys if we didn’t have younger ones who do still play with toys. He occasionally plays with Lego but he mostly just plays out with friends, plays sport or reads. I doubt I’ll be buying him any toys this Christmas, probably books and sports equipment/clothes.

Last Christmas we bought DSS 7 & DSS 11 NERF guns and for about two hours in the afternoon on Xmas day, DSS and Me ran around the house having a NERF war

Whilst my DP had a make up session with DSD 13 & DSD 9

If the kids genuinely have no interest in toys, and if mum has resigned herself to the fact that they just play computer games, surely a new computer game would at least be something for them to be excited about at Christmas?

I mean, if she’s going to take the view that they are only interested in the one activity and that’s fine, at least buy them something for that activity.

No toys, just tech and internet used privately, for a 6 and 10 year old, that's grim.

I loved getting clothes as a present when I was a kid!

My 5 year old DS has Lego, books, action figures galore, crafty bits, his bedroom is overflowing but he does have his older brothers old PS3 and a tablet which he does enjoy. He also plays football twice a week. My nearly 11 year old DS hasn’t played with toys in well over a year and he is looking forward to getting some Nike, Adidas and rascal clothing. Do you have any idea how much that costs?? Much rather that than buy toys for the sake of it!

i am sure other friends and relatives will buy toys etc they wont all follow her ideas seems too much screen time to me but each to their own and clothes bit unimaginative and boring

I haven’t read all replies but I think it’s a bit sad not to encourage with a few small toys. My youngest is 9 and as he has older brothers, he wanted screen gadgets much younger than I’d have liked. He likes his iPad and Xbox. I try to encourage toys too, at Christmas he will have a stocking with several small, inexpensive toys and a few chocolates. He still believes Santa fills up his stocking. He will also get a gift under the tree from Santa. It won’t have anything to do with screens. He may get a new Xbox game as well, but I try to avoid them. My oldest 2 play along (age 15 and 17) so they get a stocking with little gadgets and things in. Also a gift under the tree (last year they had themed mugs with socks and chocolate in) I think it’s really important to have stuff that isn’t screen related.
I have to get them a new family game to play at Christmas too. They don’t get clothes unless there’s a particular item they want. The middle son likes football so he’s had a new kit for Christmas before.
There are plenty of small gift ideas out there avoiding screens that will add a bit of fun and don’t cost a lot if not played with for long.
So I’d feel a bit sad for your friends children as well.