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Original poster

To find this a bit meh . Regarding my friends dc at Xmas.

81 replies

HowCanThisBeRight · 13/09/2018 09:55

We were having the Xmas chat the other day. And we were both saying how excited we were. Her because her 3 eldest 23-19-18 are coming home and she has a 10 +6 yr old too.
And me because it's my dd first Xmas., my DS not with his dad and we have dps dd.

I was saying about the ideas I have for kids etc.
And she said we'll my kids will not have toys or anything. Just clothes.
I asked why but confused and she said oh well they're always on their xbox, play station and I pads they don't play toys. So I got rid Of it all.
She then said they have x box, play station, tablets, pc, 32 inch TV each room with Netflix.(, phone for eldest) So there's nothing they need or want.

I felt a bit sad as I can imagine. Parcel after parcel Being clothes would be a bit meh for a 6yr old.

And also feel a bit sad that there's no imagination to play or Coloring or whatever.

I know this is none of my business and everyone does things differently, and I'm not judging. I just feel it's a little sad that, a few yrs ago a 6+10 yr old would of lived lego etc and not needed loads of tech to be entertained.

Don't get my wrong my DS is nearly 13 and he likes his tech. But it's limited.

OP posts:
Noviceoftheweek · 13/09/2018 11:48

Utterly grim. Where are the opportunities for proper family life? I would judge too.

Stickystickystick · 13/09/2018 11:48

Everyone stating that OP is judging, do you really think it is healthy for a 6 year old to only have screen based activities and no toys?

Ragwort · 13/09/2018 11:51

But not all children are 'into' toys - when our DS was younger he genuinely wasn't that interested in most toys - must be the only child in the world who didn't like Lego; he wasn't keen on arts & crafts, trains, Lego, building sets, science stuff, farm yards, kitchen stuff, modelling etc etc. His main interests have been sports but there's only so many balls you can buy Grin. He wasn't given any tech stuff until well into his teens and even then had to buy his own PS. He's a teenager now and not obsessed with technology - but still loves sports.

For years we had piles of very generous gifts from family and friends that just weren't really appreciated. I've also lost track of all the 'fun' stocking fillers I've bought over the years which haven't generated more than a 'thanks, that looks nice' and then left unused. Grin.

ballseditupforever · 13/09/2018 11:58

Terrible. And I bought my 6 year old an iPad last year. As well as lots of imaginative play stuff.

TheClitterati · 13/09/2018 12:01

Its better than giving a load of stuff that won't be used just "because its Christmas"

I've also lost track of all the 'fun' stocking fillers I've bought over the years which haven't generated more than a 'thanks, that looks nice' and then left unused

I've been guilty of this with my 2 as well. This year I am determined to do better - best to avoid the Christmas threads on here.

#ChristmasIsKillingThePlanet

Hillarious · 13/09/2018 12:03

Perhaps relatives will be filling the gaps on the more creative side of things?

Magicpaintbrush · 13/09/2018 12:16

Sorry but I would judge that too. That sounds like absolute crap on the fulfilling childhood richter scale. They will spend all their time being screen addicted zombies instead of living - so yes, it is really sad.

We have battles with out DD about screen time, it is really shit, but I wouldn't dream of just caving in and letting her live her entire life in some kind of tech bubble. Everything in moderation.

Celestia26 · 13/09/2018 12:20

churchmouse84

Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
Something to read

I love this and have never heard it before! I try not to go over the top with gifts, and pictures on social media of kids standing in front of huge piles of gifts make me feel a bit sick. I certainly wouldn't be getting my kids just tech and clothes, but each to their own. Hopefully they'll get a slightly broader range of gifts from GP or aunts/uncles etc.

RedSkyLastNight · 13/09/2018 12:28

With 5 children I imagine they had a lot of toys anyway. I also imagine that when she said she'd got rid of all the toys, she wouldn't have got rid of ones that her DC was actively playing with.

My DC had loads of toys when they were 6, but they spent most of their time on craft activities, making dens with sheets and chairs and endless games of Mummy, Daddy, Baby (made especially interesting as there were only 2 of them). They didn't need any of their toys to do those things ..

arethereanyleftatall · 13/09/2018 12:28

Of course you're judging, your post is the definition of judging and asking others to join in with it.
Of course a 6 year old shouldn't just have screens. No one is going to respond and say they should.
Not sure what you're after by posting this.

kmc1111 · 13/09/2018 12:28

Meh, I’m old and I stopped playing with toys at about 5. Wasn’t much for art and crafty type things either. I liked books and I liked drawing. If I was a kid today I’d use an iPad for both.

Most of my DC were the same. By about 7 if I tried to get any of them to play with toys it was obvious they were just humouring me.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 13/09/2018 12:39

I have three grown up older ones and one much younger. Older ones loved playmobile, lego, stuff, dressing up stuff; we had a houseful of much loved toys.

Younger one had a playroom full of stuff and has never been very interested. He likes sports and screens and books. I've bought him great toys that were ignored for years. Now he's 12 we don't have to pretend any more.

Interestingly he's still very imaginative; writes great stories, has creative ideas etc. And he's got excellent confidence and social skills.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/09/2018 12:40

Some children are more active, other less so. My dd (10) loves doing physical things so the emphasis is on this now but at 6, there was plenty of imaginative play. I can understand not buying toys for a 10 yo but not the youngest. We now tend to buy dd experiences or things for her sporting hobbies. I also can’t think of anything worse than just giving clothes unless some of those clothes are things like football / rugby boots, a tennis kit, riding jodhpurs or some such. Or perhaps a Fortnite kit with a picture of a nice big gun. Hmmmmm no maybe not.

5000KallaxHoles · 13/09/2018 12:44

My 6 year old has never been a massive "toys" person. Most of what she got last Christmas was pretty ignored to be honest - it's only really recently she's started playing with anything at all but last Christmas the things she "played" with the most were a tablet (limited time on it), a toy microphone (why the fuckedy fuck did I ever think amplifying the world's loudest child's voice was a good idea) and a toy camera (where she inexplicably decided to photograph every coffee cup for 3 days).

She likes craft stuff though, and fucking unicorns... endless fucking unicorns - so for her birthday basically she didn't get much in the way of toys but she did get lots and lots and lots of fucking unicorn stuff (it's like a bug infestation but with pointy heads and glitter).

ThreeAnkleBiters · 13/09/2018 12:45

I do find it depressing that a 6 year old has no interests outside of screens. No Books, puzzles, board game, sport equipment, lego. I understand all kids are different. I have one that was never into books (but like comics and annuals) and none of them would be bothered by anything sporty at all, one lego fan two not into lego etc. I would however be very worried if there was literally nothing which was of interest to them outside of a screen.

Nothisispatrick · 13/09/2018 12:59

I judge that amount of screen time. I feel sad for a 6 year old that doesn’t have the imagination to play with toys.

RedSkyLastNight · 13/09/2018 13:02

I judge that amount of screen time

But we have no idea how much screen time he has?

He might be involved in clubs, running round outside, playing with a ball, riding his bike, drawing, reading a book, involved in imaginary play (for which you don't need toys)...

glintandglide · 13/09/2018 13:04

The child is 6 though. Apart from a bit of Lego what toys would they have?

She hasn’t said they don’t colour or read or do workbooks or whatever- just that those things aren’t Xmas pressies

TheWinterofOurDiscountTentsMk2 · 13/09/2018 13:05

The child is 6 though. Apart from a bit of Lego what toys would they have?

Um, all the toys? what with being six.

PorkFlute · 13/09/2018 13:07

If you can't judge about a 6 yo having no toys what can you judge about? Very sad.

Pamdoo · 13/09/2018 13:09

It's sad, but what would be the point of her spending lots of money on things they have no interest in? Usually people are under fire for buying too much. But it's her choice to have raised them to be reliant on screens for entertainment, a shame but her choice.

PorkFlute · 13/09/2018 13:12

If screens weren't constantly available they no doubt would play with toys.

Oblomov18 · 13/09/2018 13:18

Are you REALLY surprised?
I'm not.
Many kids these days are like this. My ds's don't seem to want to play with any toys other than x box. Both do after school clubs - eg dodgeball and both play football 3 times a week and oldest goes to the gym. We occasionally play chess or ludo or something, but they just have no interest. Many of the boys are the same. They've grown out of lego, having played with it from aged 3-10.
So what toys exactly do you suggest?

Octavella · 13/09/2018 13:19

I'm judging. There are loads of things to buy other than clothes and it takes the magic out of it for a six year old. I'd probably tell my friend not to be so serious and spend a tenner on buying some xmas crap too.

ConsiderHerWaysAndOthers · 13/09/2018 13:26

I was never into toys as a child or arts and crafts stuff. Top of my Christmas list in the 90s would have been books, things for my horse, clothes, videos, CDs or PlayStation games. Totally ok that the kids don’t want toys and very sensible of your friend not to buy them stuff they don’t want. It’s maybe a shame if they genuinely don’t have any non-screen interests but they’re not the only kids like that and besides they might have hobbies like football that doesn’t require a lot of stuff, except clothes of course!