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AIBU?

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Original poster

She sees him twice a day!

31 replies

browniesandtea · 13/09/2018 08:47

I have a friend who's been seeing this guy since June, he doesn't work and she works and lives close to him.

I know it's not really my business, but she sees him twice a day! She rings him in the morning and will see him 10-15 before starting work.

Then at 12.30 she will see him again during her lunch break. That's Monday to Friday.

During the weekend they spend all day together going on dates. And because he doesn't work, he doesn't have much money and she pays for lunch most days.

I think she's too available for him, surely this is not healthy?

OP posts:
Lweji · 13/09/2018 08:48

The main problem is not how often they see each other.

Why doesn't he work?

Luvly12 · 13/09/2018 08:50

Why's it not healthy???????
He's freely available to her as well. Some people gel quickly, fall for each other and don't play silly games of who's available to whom. Maybe your friend and this guy fall into that category?

Is she happy?

beingsunny · 13/09/2018 08:54

When I first met my partner he was a contractor and had a couple of weeks between jobs, he used to take a train to the city and bring me a packed lunch and we would eat it together in the park.

Then see each other in the evenings too, it was all romance and exciting!

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 13/09/2018 08:55

I'd say the issue is what doesn't he work.

If it's early days then I don't see that frequency of contact as an issue. When I started seeing my DH we worked at the same place and would meet for a brew in the morning and go for lunch most days in addition to seeing each other at evenings and weekends. We we're properly loved up and couldn't get enough of each other.

It's only a problem at this stage if she's turning down other things constantly in favour of seeing him.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 13/09/2018 08:56

*why he doesn't work

Bunchofdaffodils · 13/09/2018 08:57

Yabu. What’s wrong, I don’t get it?

ShirleyPhallus · 13/09/2018 08:57

A friend of mine speaks to her partner on the phone 7-8 times a day

When we were on holiday it was fucking irritating. They’d face time while we were getting ready so I couldn’t get away from it and because they had literally nothing to say to each other ended up discussing the tiniest of minute details - ie benefits and drawbacks of chicken on the bone vs off the bone

I think it’s way too much to see each other like that really but ultimately it isn’t anyone else’s business

BitchQueen90 · 13/09/2018 08:58

The seeing him twice a day thing isn't an issue in my opinion but I'd be more concerned about why he doesn't work. Unless he can't work for genuine reasons then he sounds like a freeloader!

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 13/09/2018 08:59

When I met my partner I saw him the next night and the next and the next... Since the day we met, we've only gone 1 or 2 days not seeing each other at all, but things moved fast, I fell pregnant, he moved in with me and my kids and now we're married.

Namechangingagainjustbecause · 13/09/2018 09:00

It’s really none of your business if she’s happy.

Singlenotsingle · 13/09/2018 09:00

He's a potential cocklodger. She's clearly besotted, and in a few weeks time when he's moved in, not paying anything in and with his arse firmly planted on her sofa, she'll wonder where it all went so horribly wrong!

Gwenhwyfar · 13/09/2018 09:09

" Unless he can't work for genuine reasons then he sounds like a freeloader!"

What a jump! Maybe he's temporarily unemployed, as many people are at certain times in their lives.

ShotsFired · 13/09/2018 09:12

Roll it forward to couples living together and "seeing each other twice a day" isn't exactly weird is it? (and I know several who cohabit/married and who still need to phone/message each other multiple times a day!)

If I could have seen my ex twice a day at the start I would have, it's all so exciting and lovely and romantic then!

ShotsFired · 13/09/2018 09:13

But I agree the major issue is his lack of job (unless there's some financial internet millionaire backstory)

I'd be asking questions about that - subtly, just enough to raise it in her mind above the soppy kissing and wuvwiness

arethereanyleftatall · 13/09/2018 09:13

Yabu.
I thought the whole playing games things of our teenage years was absolutely ridiculous and a waste of time. If you like someone, and enjoy their company/cock, then spend time with them. It's obvious.

Agree though, her paying for everything and him not working is potentially worrying, or might not be.

PorkFlute · 13/09/2018 09:18

I think it’s more weird that they fit in a 15 min meeting before she goes to work rather than seeing each other in the evenings?

PorkFlute · 13/09/2018 09:18

None of your business though op.

WorraLiberty · 13/09/2018 09:23

Have you not got a romantic bone in your body OP?

Lots of new relationships start like that, where the couple will see each other as often as possible, even if only for a 10-15 minute snog Grin

Not sure about the work thing, as you haven't explained anything about it.

powerwalk · 13/09/2018 09:24

Er, what has got to do with you op? Leave her be, she is happy, he is happy what is there not to love!

Bestseller · 13/09/2018 09:25

It wouldn't suit me but then I know hold back and would probably have more fun if I didn't!

I agree with others, but if there is a concern it's that he's not working and relying on her for cash

ShalomJackie · 13/09/2018 09:26

So sees him for 10-15 mjns before work and 1 hour at lunchtime - so not a lot then?

LoveObject · 13/09/2018 09:28

I think she's too available for him, surely this is not healthy?

So what do you think she should be doing, reading her well-thumbed copy of The Rules, playing hard to get, and refusing any date for Saturday night unless the suitor has asked her by Tuesday at the latest?

What is it exactly that is concerning you so much? Are you saying she's shortchanging her workplace, or has ditched all her friendships?

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 13/09/2018 09:30

I think that’s normal this early in a relationship tbh

shartsi · 13/09/2018 09:30

I met my DH when he joined my workplace. We had our breaks and lunch times and after work drinks together everyday from day one! I couldn't resist him.

MrsChollySawcutt · 13/09/2018 09:31

It's not that she's sees him twice a day I'd be concerned about though. It sounds like he is using her for free lunches and possibly breakfast too?

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