To expect schools to get their shit together and communicate better?

[daphine2004]

DD started school nursery this week on a part time basis. Previous to this had been in private setting since 9 months old. Both DH and I have full on careers and I had mentioned to school that communication was essential as we can make our diaries work for us.

Well on Monday we received a letter saying informal parent/teacher chat to take place WC 17th - no days or times and now. A week’s notice of something that is happening big isn’t sufficient. They would have had this date pencilled in already so why they can’t just give a list of all events/meetings is beyond me.

Today get told as picking up DD at half day finish that they’re all full time tomorrow. Nobody told me this when confirming half day arrangements over a month ago. We have paid for afternoon sessions at the private setting. So now I’m mightly pissed as DD will miss first lunch time or I have just wasted money (I hate wasting money!).

I will feedback at the informal chat how disappointed I was with this and it is detrimental to working parents who try and fit school
Commitments in.

AIBU to be annoyed at this?

I don’t get the bit about tomorrow and the half day/ full day....

I'm guessing that the school nursery will have said that op's dd is in for just half a day tomorrow and so op has paid for alternative childcare. They have now said that it is in fact a full day so the childcare will not be needed so a waste.

YANBU they should be communicating better.

Welcome to school. If it is any consolation, secondary seems to be a lot better for all sorts of reason but primary was full of last minute letters and requests for things. Just breathe and do the best you can, it will be haqppening for a long time to come. Teachers are very busy and communication to parents can be a bit haphazard, especially in primary school.

I rememer picking DS up from school on a Wednesday in primary and he had a letter about his swimming (first lesson on the Friday) saying he needed to wear swim trunks and not swim shorts. They had said nothing about this beforehand. Since I worked 8.30am to 5pm on Thursdays, I was pretty stuck on what to do as DS had no swim trunks. I sorted it but not without quite a bit of unecessary stress., a letter on the first day back after the holidays would have been good or even before the summer!

I think it is worse on your first child as everyone always goes 'oh yes did you not know they need

Totally agree, schools should communicate effectively. Careful what you wish for though...I get numerous emails every week including a weekly 2 page Learning Overview, weekly 3 page School Newsletter and various other forms to complete and things to remember. Its like having another part-time admin job! DD only started back last Wed and I've had 10 emails already

As a teacher in some settings this attitude used to infuriate me, there is no excuse to not communicate with parents. In one setting I even created a huge display board in the centre of the foundation unit with a weekly calendar and a list of key sates for that term, it's good practice to keep everyone informed.

Sorry for ranting but please do not assume that this is how schools are and that you should just get used to it. I am especially baffled at how the would have expected you to know she was full time tomorrow without warning you.

YANBU and I say that as someone who works in a school office. Management are forever coming in announcing new meetings and can you send this or that email out. Reception teacher asked if I’d sent out so and so diary dates to the new parents in July, urm no, because you didn’t tell me about those diary dates . New stuff seems to be added every other week. In fact in July the head announced she wanted a meeting with the year 6 parents that afternoon, I sent an email then spent the rest of the day taking angry phone calls from parents who couldn’t make it demanding to know the details. It’s a pain in the arse.

Sorry if my rant didn’t make much sense re half day and full day. I was flapping. All settled since I’ve had a coffee!

Basically it’s her first tine at a school nursery and they dictate that children do half days for the first week and then full time thereafter. So I pick up DD at 11.30, take home for lunch and return to old setting for 1pm until 6pm. This way I didn’t have to use leave and have flexes my days by starting early and then working from home in the afternoons. DH job not as flexible as mine and had to use leave to accommodate this. I understand why they do it for kids who have never been to nursery before and have been with their parents or alternative childcare during this time, but it’s a nightmare for us.

Thanks for letting me know it isn’t unreasonable, but it might not get any better! Much appreciated.

I was told in July to buy school trainers specifically to be kept at school at school welcome meeting. Last week I was told reception children don't need trainers as PE is done inside. Because we all have money to burn on unnecessary shoes...

Welcome to being a working professional parent of a school aged child. Mine has just started Year 3 and communication is patchy and haphazard at best. It all seems to be done via a system of sticking notes on the classroom door. This doesn't work for me as I don't collect her. Otherwise there are texts (sometimes) and letters (sometimes) that often contradict themselves.... It is slightly better now we have an APP called class dojo but even then half the stuff isn't on the app or they use "Foundation Phase" and other such terms rather than class names so half the time I don't know if they are referring to my daughters class.

It drives me nuts!

I think I might try and become a school governor. It’s a real nonsense to be so bad at this!

Yep, that sounds depressingly familiar. 8 years of primary school marked by last minute letters about dress up days, random meetings in the middle of the day or assemblies every parent is invited to. Secondary school is much better IME. They tend to be run a bit more like a business.

That's your life now

YANBU - communication is often awful.

When DD first started school all the information was on a notice board by the main entrance. We never used this entrance - anyone using breakfast club or after school club used a different entrance and couldn’t even get to the notice board as the gates were locked at the times we were dropping off/picking up.

I used to have terrible issues with emergency contact details. Initially the school would always phone my mobile (despite the emergency contact form - which I was expected to fill in every fucking term - explicitly stating that I had no mobile phone reception at work), and complain that they couldn’t get hold of me . Even when we specified that DH should be the contact (I was working 2 hours away - he was 20 minutes away), they would always phone me (and complain that they couldn’t get through). I eventually changed my voicemail to say that they needed to call and ask for DH, and only if he didn’t answer to call me on AND refer to me by my actual name.

I eventually moved both DC to private school, and communication is immeasurably better - largely because they accept that both parents are likely to work.

Good luck with the governors thing. Our primary school held governors meetings at either 09:30 or 16:00 on a Tuesday, and wondered why they struggled to recruit people!

I think you're being over generous suggesting these dates are set in advance. IME many of these things really are arranged at the last minute.

Just wait until Christmas!!You will get no notices all to dress your child as a donkey,king,star etc.My best was 2 days to provide an authentic Victorian ladies dress-there were some truely heroic efforts from
Mums that year.

You have my sympathy, DS started reception last week. Friends with DCs that started the same time were getting last minute texts about things like needing PE kit for the next day (that wasn't included in the starter information) and I've missed them all as my details weren't added to the system in time. We've also got lots to sort this week all with very little notice.

All I can say is thank goodness for 24hr supermarkets. If something doesn't happen as I only get a days notice then so be it. I was forewarned by friends and colleagues it'd be like this but am shocked juat how bad it is!

What's a school nursery? A nursery in a school?a pre school?confusion reigns.

Are you sure there isn't a list of dates that you have missed? Have you checked the website? We have all major dates for the entire academic year, and got them in June or July. It sounds really strange to have altered their induction arrangements at the last minute as well. Schools are often not great at communication, true, but I would check you haven't been missed off an email list of something before you tell them how awfully they are treating working parents.

Can I pre warn you reception usually do the same too with part time settling in

As a secondary teacher, it always amazes me how poor a lot of primaries seem to be at communication/planning things. My son has just started reception and today there was a meeting regarding the teaching of reading. It was held at 1.30pm ! They couldn't seem to grasp that not everyone can just book afternoons off

I work in a large secondary school with years 7-13. We have around 1500 students. We manage to publish a full calendar of all dates/events/parents evenings/exams about 4 weeks before the summer holidays for the following year!

We also put reminders on twitter/facebook/website.

It baffles me that the same can't be done in primary!

Yep, terrible communication - only rivalled by universities in my experience! My favourite part is when I get a text saying: “just to remind you, the children have xyz tomorrow” - when it’s the first time they’ve mentioned it!

Yep get used to it. Had an email Monday day telling me it was pirate and princess day... Tuesday 🙄 ok I’ll just get out that pirate suit I had stored just in case shall I? Also get used to them sending about 5 million letters home a week asking for money , sweet jars filled up. Costumes to be worn etc. I had a letter asking for £7 to buy a book because the author was coming in to read it! That’s marketing for the author?? Disgusting if you ask me but needless to say we purchased the stupid book so we wernt the odd ones out. I think it’s awful because there are a lot of parents who can’t afford all this, especially if they have multiple children. I paid £13 for a trip to the blooming beach last term! Could have sent them via limo for cheaper, it’s a 6 minute drive from school.

PumpkinPie2016 my eldest has just started high school and came home with a booklet of the entire years functions and meetings and holidays etc. I am so impressed.

Our primary school secretary is run off her feet yet we too get numerous emails, texts and letters. Perhaps if they cut down the faff to perhaps one notice once a week she’d have a bit more time for everything else.

@happinessiseggshaped when the teacher shouted this to me, I replied “I didn’t know and it was supposed to be mornings all week”, her reply was “well they’ve all come on so it’s full time tomorrow”.

They must have known as they’ll be lunch for 60 kids which would have needed ordering etc. It’s just a a curve ball.

Well if the school governor meetings are crap times that’s just poor too!