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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect schools to get their shit together and communicate better?

50 replies

daphine2004 · 12/09/2018 12:44

DD started school nursery this week on a part time basis. Previous to this had been in private setting since 9 months old. Both DH and I have full on careers and I had mentioned to school that communication was essential as we can make our diaries work for us.

Well on Monday we received a letter saying informal parent/teacher chat to take place WC 17th - no days or times and now. A week’s notice of something that is happening big isn’t sufficient. They would have had this date pencilled in already so why they can’t just give a list of all events/meetings is beyond me.

Today get told as picking up DD at half day finish that they’re all full time tomorrow. Nobody told me this when confirming half day arrangements over a month ago. We have paid for afternoon sessions at the private setting. So now I’m mightly pissed as DD will miss first lunch time or I have just wasted money (I hate wasting money!).

I will feedback at the informal chat how disappointed I was with this and it is detrimental to working parents who try and fit school
Commitments in.

AIBU to be annoyed at this?

OP posts:
Thomlin · 12/09/2018 18:40

Oh god welcome to school where no mothers work and email has not yet been invented! Absolutely bloody infuriating. I cannot cope with the scrunched up notes that come home in her bag filled with utter nonsense that you have to sift through in order to find a tiny piece of useful information. I literally wasn't even told what their start and finish times were Hmm they send out texts but its stupid things like "Remember lunches for November 2021 must be picked on parent pay by midnight" etc. You get about a weeks notice for parents night and have to write on a sign at drop off or pick up what time you want, I don't do either of these so its like a 3 way comms trying to negotiate what days/ times I can do vs what is available. Don't have any way of emailing/ communicating with the teachers which in this day is just ridiculous IMO.

Original poster
daphine2004 · 12/09/2018 18:40

@MrTrebus pre school is a private nursery. Within our LA they have free full time nursery provision within schools and it is free!! So we made the change to save money for this year.

OP posts:
happinessiseggshaped · 12/09/2018 19:31

So its not a school at all but a school based preschool? Massively different.

Viebienremplie · 12/09/2018 19:38

I'm afraid this is something you have to get used to. As a working parent, with a DH who works as well, I frequently get incensed by late notice of things when with enough warning we can usually manage our diaries to be present. It's infuriating to be told with only 1 week notice about a parents evening that they must have planned weeks in advance, or an assembly that we are told about with 2 days' notice. We were told on Monday this week about a Roald Dahl dress up day tomorrow. Gah!

Headsup I really appreciate your efforts to have these things signposted in the classroom, it's brilliant that you do this. However, as I do not do drop off/pick up regularly this wouldn't help me as I'm rarely in the classroom. I need email comms, with a few weeks notice so I can plan my work diary to be present. It should be feasible to provide this...I often feel that the two schools our kids are at assume one parent isn't working and it does give me the rage.

The saving grace, I find, is the class whatsapp, I know many hate these and sometimes the avalanche of messages drives me mad but for me it's a great way to know what's going on

ShalomJackie · 12/09/2018 19:53

Our governors meetings were at 7.30 in the evenings but please be aware that the governors would not be interfering with the operation side of the school!

Lostandfound81 · 12/09/2018 19:55

Very different experience here.

They are so on it. Lots of notice, organised within an inch of its life. It’s brilliant

JakeBallardswife · 12/09/2018 19:58

This seems to be the norm for many primary schools, ours was exactly like this. They then got round to publishing dates ahead of time and then changing these, eg sports day, school concerts so you booked a half day holiday etc then to find that they;d changed a week before.

Secondary is much better.

coldrain2018 · 12/09/2018 20:00

have you looked on their website?

GoofyIsACow · 12/09/2018 20:01

As someone who is in charge of communication in a primary school, we use an instant messaging service, weekly newsletter, online diary and regular letters, a lot of parents read precisely fuck all then come and ask me anyway...
Then I get it in the neck when they still forget...
spoon feeding doesn’t always work either!
I agree though, what you have described isn’t ideal either...

PicnicPie · 12/09/2018 20:05

Urgh i feel your pain. I have 2 dds and only around for a few drop offs/pick ups so i get 3rd hand info from my 5yo Confused and lots of last minute letters which are normally stuffed into their book bags amongst all the other crap. I've asked about emails before and have been told it's a big ask and it's not something that the head is keen to move to as there is no appetite for it amongst parents Angry.

I don't get me started on the parent/teacher appointments and booking a slot via form on the door Angry. If I miss the slots now or they don't suit me then I ask to see the teacher another time when convenient for me.

GlitterBurps · 12/09/2018 20:05

We are only 3days into school life (reception with DS1) and have found communication to be crap. Pick up and drop offs at different gates each day and this evening an email with a ‘polite reminder’ of an essential meeting tomorrow that hasn’t been mentioned before.

Samantha2018 · 12/09/2018 20:13

It never changes I get a minutes notice for all events, no one realises I need to arrange time off with Work who want a weeks notice! I've had a emergency SMS this evening to say I need to go into school at 9am to sign a form for flu spray/jab! Which is impossible as my child goes to breakfast clubs

genivert · 12/09/2018 20:16

What I don't understand is why the people managing Comms (secretary, head, whatever) surely have issues like this themselves?

My experience tells me teachers struggle to get time off to attend daytime related stuff (e.g. teacher friend not able to do any volunteering time for her kids school PTA because they had impossible meeting times like 9:45 Every second ir third Wednesday, but they arranged it as hoc so she couldn't pin down dates to negotiate around it even though hers was 0.6 FTE contract... No idea how they expected full-time workers with even local short commutes to be able to help!).

Original poster
daphine2004 · 12/09/2018 20:17

@happinessiseggshaped no it’s a nursery in a primary school. Wears a uniform etc.

Where she was before was a private nursery that we paid for as we work full time. They have various within that, one of which was pre-school.

OP posts:
Original poster
daphine2004 · 12/09/2018 20:19

Various rooms*

OP posts:
Original poster
daphine2004 · 12/09/2018 20:23

Thanks for all of your replies.

It’s so bad that it’s like this and there’s no need to. It would potentially be more cost effective and a time saver to communicate these things in advanced. Plus harness better relationships with parents!

I have no idea what a governor does, but thought it would be with a try in terms of feeding back and parent engagement.

OP posts:
Thomlin · 12/09/2018 20:51

As someone who is in charge of communication in a primary school, we use an instant messaging service, weekly newsletter, online diary and regular letters

Why not just email? I genuinely don't get it. We get a newsletter (full of crap and binned) and letters once in a while, again usually binned as I hate clutter. The instant messaging texts are a PITA as they are either used for last minute bright spark ideas or rarely about anything that specifically concerns your child. I wish they'd delete my number one day they'd sent 3 before 10am. Attached are a few of my nuggets. The council sent out a survey last year and I made my thoughts well clear, nothing has changed!

To expect schools to get their shit together and communicate better?
To expect schools to get their shit together and communicate better?
Bestseller · 12/09/2018 21:15

There was a brief window when email was the answer but unless people are checking their emails for work, noone looks at their email anymore. (even then people don't always give their work email) The sad fact is, no one method suits everyone

genivert · 13/09/2018 11:52

Thomlin that is really spammy.

Why can't they allow numbers and emails to be added to an emergencies list (e.g. school is shut, roof blew off) vs. general awareness crap (remember to pay for lunch)?

Companies manage to have more granular levels of segregation for comms? Why can't schools get this sorted? they'd have better engagement from parents if they targetted their comms more maturely.

Lostandfound81 · 13/09/2018 11:59

I think those messages are useful actually

tillytrotter1 · 13/09/2018 12:04

To those talking about last minute letters. sometimes they lurk, my sister-in-law insisted that the teacher should check bags on Monday to ensure letters hadn't been forgotten! This was pre apps, email, messaging etc., even her own mother, ex teacher, told her she was being ridiculous!
Ours were in Daddy's school and still I often heard things last minute!

ScattyCharly · 13/09/2018 12:04

Unfortunately it’s a case of getting used to this OP. This is all very standard for primary schools.

isittheholidaysyet · 13/09/2018 12:11

My kids school have worked and worked at parent communication and improved massively. An app being one of the best bits.

What has come to light is that their internal (between staff) communication is also shite and that everything IS actually planned or rearranged at the last minute.
Until that changes parents are still not going to get the information they need when they need it.

GoofyIsACow · 13/09/2018 18:55

@Thomlin
‘There was a brief window when email was the answer but unless people are checking their emails for work, noone looks at their email anymore. (even then people don't always give their work email) The sad fact is, no one method suits everyone’
Actually this ^^
You say the newsletter is full of craps binned, so you will likely miss anything important written in it?
Each parent has their own suggestion of how to effectively communicate with them, how about school will do it how it’s easiest for them?
I agree you have some repeat messages there but that seems like a syatem error, the messages themselves seem really useful!

bobisbored · 13/09/2018 19:00

It's a school thing. Get used to it 😂

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