To think you don't summon adults like a lost pet?

[Onceihadaname]

So, I've got the back door open and the washing out the back. I am in the living room on the couch getting some work done & looking after my dc...
Neighbour's kid must have booted over the ball because he has started hollering my name towards my back door. He has done it a couple of times in the past and tbh I have ignored it every time because I thought it was really rude and I didn't want to make him think I would come running if he called. Eventually I will check on the laundry and will chuck the ball over then.
Except this time the mum has joined him hollering my name! Not asking if I was about, not an hello, just repeatedly shouting out "Ethel"*.

Now I happen to know that while she has 2 under 5 to look after that she also has her parents round. Both parents can drive and have no mobility issues and both say hello to me when they see me so there is absolutely no way that 1 adult of the 3 functioning ones available couldn't spare the 30secs to pop down the drive and knock on my front door.

Is this a thing now???? It has absolutely wound me up and I am choosing to ignore them or I'll end up in a row. Please tell me this is not normal and AIBU to think if they can't be bothered to come round they can flipping well wait

Diagrams added as I know how essential they are!

*not actually my name!

duck factual and blunt would have been "ethel, the ball's gone over the fence" not "ethel, ethel, ethel" followed by the pair going "ethel, ethel, ethel"
That was neither use nor ornament to anyone

He's using your name to alert you because he wants his ball.

What's your relationship like with the mum otherwise?

Surely it's the persistence that's the problem?

Shout once, or ring the doorbell once. Wait, if no reply, go away and try again later.

What they are doing is the equivalent of leaning on your doorbell continuously for five minutes, in the mistaken idea that this will summon you more effectively than one or two rings.

They've rejected the idea of asking and decided to demand instead.

Once would be OK, but the continuous calling would get on my nerves and I certainly wouldn't be rushing to get throw his ball back. I'd just shut the back door and ignore them.

Yeah duck, i got that he was shouting me because he wanted the ball. Mine have spent many a time going "mum" on repeat when they wanted my attention, but what's the mum's excuse? She isn't a preschooler.

Relationship is polite acquaintances. They say hello when paths cross but no more.
Certainly not at a level of friendship that would mean that politeness isn't needed.

@Juells just what I was thinking!

Back door is firmly shut for now and i won't be going out back until i need to get the laundry in!

I would ignore and slam my door shut very loudly. You could be on the phone, they are rude.

Wait until you are out in the garden on your own business and throw the ball back then. No-one should be calling you out, it's an invasion of your privacy.

Taller fences called for I believe.

YANBU - just say ”please ring the doorbell rather than shouting at me, because I am busy”

@MorrisZap I had NO IDEA other people still also yell ”Carol” at each other after that episode. I thought me and my family were alone in the world.

YANBU.

The kid from next door rings the doorbell, rings again, knocks, rings again... You've lost your sodding ball mate (your problem, not mine, that I will deal with in my own time), the house isn't on fire.

I would ask his parents to tell him not to, the only thing stopping me is that they are so lovely and very firm with him (I've jumped up to ask him to stop kicking the ball so hard into our fence only to hear his mum or dad tell him to, and they've told him off for bothering us before). I would feel harsh because they'd probably tell him never to knock again.

I just want him to ring the doorbell once and live with it if I can't answer!

*spudlet
Accepted practice round us is to say something like 'Oh dear, the ball is over the fence. Well, it will have to stay there now until Spudlet sees it'. Then I hoof it back when I'm outside next. When ds is big enough to send his ball the other way, I will do the same. We certainly wouldn't stand yelling over a fence, how rude!

If I ever chucked my ball over the fence (accidentally!) I was made to go and knock on the door and ask politely if I could please have it back. If I'd just started yelling, mum would have been apopletic *

It is the same round here and always has been.
Neighbours are newish but came from where i grew up so there isn't any geography/cultural issues to factor in!

Back door is firmly shut for now and i won't be going out back until i need to get the laundry in!

Be prepared for the bell to ring then

duck am waiting for it but I am not expecting it anytime soon!
I am off to get a job done now and will update if they turn up!

It's the expectation that you're available to drop everything just to lob his ball back over. Yes you may have been there, and yes it would only take seconds, but it's rude. If you lose your ball over then you either pop round to the front door and ask if you could have your ball back next time they're in their garden (not now, when it's convenient) or you wait until they notice it themselves and decide to chuck it over. It's just plain manners (which seem to be lacking a lot these days).

Please don't tell another adult (the mum) to "ask nicely" as previously suggested. Just leave the nicely off. It's one thing to say that to a child to teach manners, it's quite another to say that to a grown woman. The addition of the word nicely makes it uncomfortably condescending. To be visibly trying to educate an adult in a manner you might use on a child being offered sweeties...urgh....shudder.

I am willing to admit that it might be just me who feels this way about that phrase being used on a peer.

It is a bit rude just shouting you like that, can see why you'd be a bit annoyed.

It's also an invasion on your privacy.

How on earth is calling someone's name an invasion of their privacy?

Reading someone's mail is invasion of privacy. Accessing private or confidential information is invasion of privacy. Calling someone's name to attract their attention really, really is not an invasion of their privacy.

Some people are far too femmer for this cruel world

I never call our neighbour just because the door is open. She/He could be anywhere in the house, not necessarily in the back rooms.

Neighbour's son plays football and last Summer we had an issue that we had balls in our garden the whole time, up to 3-4 at the same time easily. Not a problem on its own but we have a large rabbit run and they hit it more then once, leaving my bunnies running for their lives. The dad realised what was going on and the boy came over with a huge apology and also every time a ball made it over the fence, not us throwing them back. I think it was the worst when he had a particular friend over, like a competition who shot the highest.

This year it calmed down a lot, I don't mind throwing a ball over the fence but I do not run out as soon as I see it.

@GreatDuckCookery

GreatDuckCookery

GreatDuckCookery !

GreatDuckCookery !

GreatDuckCookery !

Factual and blunt?

I think you're being a bit precious. The door is open. You know the ball is in your garden. They're shouting your name because they know the door is open and they know you are in. It's gone on so long now, they're probably worried that you've keeled over in the kitchen, leaving your back door open to all and sundry.
It would have been quicker to go out and throw it back than start a thread on MN
So when they come to the door are you going to pretend you didn't hear them shouting repeatedly or are you going to admit you heard them but only reply to 'Good day to you MsEthel, can I have my ball back please?' I'm not sure ignoring people is the way to foster good neighbourly relations.

still wouldn't bother me.

Do you go out and give it back when he/she shouts though? Because surely that’s just encouraging it.
I would completely ignore it and when they finally came to the sort and asked if I’d heard them shouting If just innocently say that I mustn’t have been able to hear over the tv. It would soon stop if they got no response. If the ball coming over the wall became too frequent my hearing might take a turn for the worse and I might not be able to hear the door either.

Fair enough.

I'm all for informal and friendly, helpful relationships with neighbors, but prefer people who can use language proficiently to do that, rather than yell my name at me repeatedly and expect me to come running It's pleasanter.

So a child who you don't know all that well shout "Jessica Jessica Jessica Jessica" endlessly, wouldn't make you wonder?

And his mum, who you also don't know well a;so shouting "Jessica Jessica Jessica Jessica" - both shouting at your presumably empty house (OP says she isn't visible or audible) - wonder make you think they were maybe a sandwich short of a polite picnic?

I suppose we could all try it out... find out the name of someone who lives close ish and stand at the end of their drive shouting their firt name only... see how long it takes for a bucket of cold water or a PCSO to arrive