To lie and say I don't have the money?

[Biscottis]

So a bit of backstory, i live with my ex we separated 6 months ago. He’s moving out in December. We’ve agreed to go half on all the bills, but here’s my problem, the last 2-3 weeks I’ve been topping up the gas/elec because he doesn’t have any money. He spends all his money on his new girlfriend, clothes, eating out etc. She lives close to us and literally comes to our house and waits for him outside nearly everyday, that’s how I know he’s with her most of the time.

The last few days he’s been hinting that he hasn’t got any money, and telling me how broke he is etc. The gas needs to be topped up again soon, and I know I have to do it since I’m the only one with money.

I’m really tempted to tell him that i don’t have any money aswell, and that will force him to borrow money to top up the gas? Or is that childish?

I’m just tired of working and saving up money, whilst he just spends it like water and doesn’t worry about anything and just leaves me to deal with it all.

Buy the gas yourself then deduct it from what you would normally give him for Sky etc?

This. I didn't even think of this, thanks!

It's not about how I'll manage when he's gone, I make more than enough to support me and my DDs, it's just the principle. Why am I paying for gas and electric in a house he lives in, whilst he's out there wining and dining his girlfriend?

I also pay for food shopping every week, £80-90, he will sometimes give me £20 towards the food. Hasn't done in 4 months now, then clothes and toys and anything else the kids need. Guess who's just spent £100 on uniforms and other bits? Me! He didn't contribute. Gosh, I feel such a mug sometimes.

Stop buying his food

Why can't he move out now, what's the delay?

I'd be tempted to go tell waiting girlfriend "he's your cost now, can you get him removed"?

" Why am I paying for gas and electric in a house he lives in, whilst he's out there wining and dining his girlfriend"

I would like to know why too!

Stop buying his food, but the gas but deduct it from what you give him for the Sky.

*buy

Keep paying your share of the rent for safety, but tot up what he owes, add in an amount for the food and energy bills and take it off what you pay him towards bills.

If he's out a lot 'wining and dining' then maybe he's not eating at home much and wouldn't expect to contribute half to food bills though £20 is stingy. I'm still not clear if they're his kids or just yours and what role he played in their lives so perhaps he shouldn't expect to contribute towards their school uniforms now.

He's still a tightwad though. Kick him out!

@whoaskedyou sorry I didn't explain properly, they're all his kids. Yes they meet up a lot, sometimes it's only for an hour or two, other times he's gone the whole day (weekend). But he eats breakfast here, sometimes lunches, eats snacks when he's home at night. Will also eat the food I've cooked if there's some left. So he does eat..

Tell him you expect him to pay maintenance for the children backdated to when he stopped contributing, and that you will knock this off your contributions to the rent. Also knock off what you have been spending on food for him.

I would be locking the doors and telling him not to come back.
Tell him to piss off to his new gfs. I take it he is staying their when he dissapears for the weekend anyway.

Well, given all that he definitely should stump up his fair share of food bills/uniforms/gas etc.

Yep definitely work out how much you have been paying out in excess and half the cost of school uniforms etc for kids and then pay only the balance into his account for rent, sky etc. He's the kids parent, he has to pay for them too. Don't feel guilty about this as he doesn't mind leaving you covering the majority of the costs.