To let ds stay off school to a avoid school camp ?

[Somethingsosimple]

Ds is in year 7 and has a one night camp coming up. He is beside himself with worry and is loosing sleep because of it. He is absolutely terrified about staying away from home. He has tried with sleepovers but I always end up picking him up late at night. He is confident in all areas but has a real phobia of staying away. He will stay at my mums but that is it. Wwyd? Part of me thinks I should force him to go but I hate the thought of him being so upset. The other thing is he sometimes very occasionally wets the bed. It only happens every 4 or 5 months but tends to be when he is very overtired or unwell. I'm not sure if this playing on his mind too? My DH suggested if he is getting so worried that we just say he is unwell on the day?

I'd keep him off school in a heartbeat. I wouldn't want to put him through it.

Etino I didn't hear if 1 child that was "resentful" because ds went home.
Not even sure most of them noticed!

But for children who cannot manage it's a perfect solution. Although in my ds case he has a great law on his side who meant they had no choice!

Sorry if it doesn't agree with you @glagdy, but as one of the adults that has to supervise these things, it is easier if we don't have the hassle of homesick, crying kids.

Keep him off OP - best all round.

You're one of the adults that supervises?! Good lord, poor poor kids. That was a vile comment.

Re wetting the bed, isn't there a tablet you can take to ensure it doesn't happen, v useful for situations like this. Would take one worry away maybe.

Don't force him to go, he's only seven. Yes some kids love such things at 7 but a lot don't. Get him out of it any way you can. When he is older he will be more adventurous.

I'd send him. He has to learn to be independent and these experiences are vital in that process. Also as year 7, it's a great way to bond as a new year group and get to know the staff and other pupils better. It's only one night.

I really feel for your son, not everyone, including adults, likes overnight stays, or camping, and he may want a break from school. The equivalent for adults is corporate team bonding which everyone hates.

Good lord, poor poor kids. That was a vile comment.

Thanks for your feedback, I'll be sure to review it & make any changes deemed necessary...

Another who says without a doubt keep him off, I think it will help him gain confidence.

Any way you could go too OP? My son’s school occasionally had parents/carers tag along.

Sending a child who's anxious away from their primary carer is more damaging than helpful. They don't just learn not to be anxious. Anxiety is a horrible thing.

As I said my ds just went for daytimes (I did pay full cost though and don't even ask school if discount was available.)

He's been on his year 6 residential and knew he couldn't manage being away. He has anxiety due to his asd and daytimes suited him. There is no reason to send a child on something because someone has decided in a one size fits all way it's good for year 7s to do.

Im sure for most it is - but some kids won't fit that box.

Dont send him.
Kids develop at different times in different ways. Your ds is not ready for this. Dont put him through it.

Given his medical condition, though mild, not unreasonable to keep him away on this occasion. However, I think the OP should consider how to manage this so it does not prevent any trip away forever. Is there another family member he could stay at within the next few months as a a stepping point?

I would tell School why you are keeping off AND keep him off . Tell him now that he doesn't need to go. My DS has anxiety related to sleeping away from home and was unable to do this type of outing. In year 9 ( when he moved into new senior School) they had a sleepover camp.

Re wetting the bed, isn't there a tablet you can take to ensure it doesn't happen, v useful for situations like this. Would take one worry away maybe.These tablets are for treatment of long-term conditions; they're not like travel sickness tablets, where you just pop one when needed. And I'm certain they wouldn't be prescribed for occasional bed-wetting. (I work in a hospital pharmacy BTW)

I think that if you were totally confident that keeping him off was the right thing, you wouldn’t be posting.

If you think this overnight stay would adversely affect him emotional wellbeing, of course keep him off. But this has to be something he’s able to do as he gets older. Speak to the pastoral team and get some support in place to develop strategies for him for the future, and work on the same at home.