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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not put on food at my child birthday party?

318 replies

LittleDonkeyKong · 10/09/2018 18:57

Having a party for my eldests birthday next month and have booked a DJ with a 2 hour party package. The party is 2-4. I think stopping for food is such a waste of precious dancing time and the party isn't over a meal time. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 10/09/2018 19:13

YABU, a party needs food, even if just some sausage rolls and snacks. Cake and sweets goes without saying I hope. They won't dance for 2 solid hours!

HopeGarden · 10/09/2018 19:14

There’s an expectation that some food will be provided at kids birthday parties, even if it’s not at a normal mealtime. It would seem odd to have no food at a party.

If you decide not to provide food, I’d suggest mentioning this on the invite so that parents can plan accordingly. Whether that’s bringing their own snacks along, or planning a normal dinner for later instead of a light meal on the assumption that kids will be still full of party food.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 10/09/2018 19:15

It's not a party without food, yabu.

MyDcAreMarvel · 10/09/2018 19:16

Is the DJ doing games? As 7 is a bit young to be entertained with just music.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 10/09/2018 19:16

Since you're doing food I wouldn't just do cheese sandwiches and crisps. You need a few different varieties of sandwiches if you're going that way (I always preferred pizza and sausage rolls as it was too much hassle making all the sandwiches) then crisps and something sweet too. Chuck in some dips too maybe?

Steelesauce · 10/09/2018 19:16

Yabu. Kids love party food. My DS is that age and would be asking where the food is. Just do a table with pizzas and some crisps. Doesn't need to be fancy. Are you doing party bags?

HildaZelda · 10/09/2018 19:16

Is your DC not even going to get a birthday cake?

BarbarianMum · 10/09/2018 19:17

Is it a cocktail party? No? Well you need food then.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 10/09/2018 19:17

I have never understood why food is expected at childrens parties especially when it's not over a usual mealtime

Well, whether you understand it or not, that's how it is. It IS expected, for better or worse and most young kids will be disappointed if there's no food. It's part of the birthday excitement; the little sandwiches, the crisps, jelly and ice cream etc - that's not hard to understand!

What about a big platter of crudités (with a dip or two if you're really brave) to one side with a few easily replenished jugs of water or watered down fruit juice? Some toasted pitta strips could be added if you think carbs are necessary

Sounds like a really fun spread. Everyone will remember it for all the wrong reasons.

Haireverywhere · 10/09/2018 19:17

I'd do crisps etc too but as long as you tell everyone in advance there's no food YANBU.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 10/09/2018 19:17

For kids the food is a highlight of most parties and is usually carefully timed for the point about an hour into the party where they're getting a bit rabid and starting to fall out with each other or get into mischief. They all sit down, everything gets a bit calmer and they then get a second wind.

pumpkinspicetime · 10/09/2018 19:22

hope is right I never plan to give my DC a full meal after an afternoon party. DC like party food and it gives the party a pause and regroup time.

willyloman · 10/09/2018 19:23

Will be dire. No cake? No snacks? Sounds a bit like Mr Bean party where everything is polystyrene and guests stand on one leg so as not to wear out carpet...Well, they'll definitely remember it...

LondonJax · 10/09/2018 19:23

I think you'll be lucky if they all decide to dance! I've had a few 'at home' parties for our DS and put music on for half an hour towards the end (just to kill time and stop them killing each other...). Last time (aged 10) I had four out of eight on the dance floor for 10 minutes. Then it was just me and another mum - all the kids sodded off to play.

DS told me that his year 3 and 4 discos were the same - a few kids danced for a while. The majority of the them just jumped about a bit then went off to play in the corners.

I think the least you can do is do nibbles - crisps, sausage rolls - easy to pick up (or grab handfuls of). DS was still on an after school snack at this age so 3pm will be 'I'm getting hungry and miserable'...

BarbarianMum · 10/09/2018 19:23

I'm also highly dubious that 7/8 year olds are going to want to dance for 2 hours straight. Based on school discos over the years I'd think you'd be pushing it for anything over an hour tbh.

titchy · 10/09/2018 19:23

OP two hours of kids doing nothing but dance / jump on the spot / run around playing aeroplanes / wander around aimlessly will be an utter utter nightmare, trust me. 20 mins break to sit down down and eat will stop them killing each other/ crying because jonnny thumped them/ crying because no ones dancing with them / crying because they've been running non-stop for an hour and they're shattered / crying because they've realised they hate dancing. THAT is the purpose of food at kids' parties.

Lemontart25 · 10/09/2018 19:24

As others have also suggested are you sure your DJ is doing a 2 hour solid set? That is very unusual if so unless it someone you know.

I can't say I know any child that are that would want to or be able to dance continuously for 2 hours & without moaning they are not, bored or hungry after the first 45 mins. Good luck if you go no food.... I envisage moody kids asking to go home so hope the parents are also staying!

DarklyDreamingDexter · 10/09/2018 19:24

You've got to have food at a kid's party! There will probably be a riot if you don't! You'll also get slagged off behind your back by the parents forever more as well!

Sarahandduck18 · 10/09/2018 19:24

Crisps and cake is the absolute bare minimum.

Foslady · 10/09/2018 19:26

If they’re dancing for two hours they’ll need some sugar and artificial colours to keep them going!
It’s a birthday - have an open table of treat stuff

Matcha · 10/09/2018 19:26

YY ThreeAnkleBiters. We had an entertainer at DD5's party, and he expected a 20-30 min interval for food. It's a brief but necessary lull (albeit still very noisy). Parties with DJs etc can be very overwhelming: with no pause for food, I'd be braced for a fraught quality to the last half hour.

It's not as if anyone's expecting a five-course tasting menu. A bite of sandwich, a handful of crisps, as many biscuits as you can get and a sliver of birthday cake: that's as much as most kids need.

Crunchymum · 10/09/2018 19:27

Grin @HollowTalk

PollyFlinderz · 10/09/2018 19:27

*Of course i would provide unlimited liquid refreshments!

You'll need food to line their stomachs.

Ribena can be a right swine.

Aridane · 10/09/2018 19:27

Why not just have a table with finger food, sandwiches, popcorn, crisps, biscuits & afew large pizzas plus drinks set out whilst they dance about & the they can stop & snack when they like rather than imposing an actual 'meal break'?

In other words, a banquet! Grin

viques · 10/09/2018 19:28

Surely the whole point of a party is to fill other people's children up with high energy sugary tut as a just payback for you having looked after them all afternoon while their parents stroll around a nearby DIY store unencumbered by small children.