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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Strangers asking for money.

119 replies

ALongHardWinter · 10/09/2018 18:29

Is it just me who's experienced this? There seems to be an epidemic of people approaching me in the street,while I'm waiting at a bus stop and even actually on a bus,either asking me directly for money,or spinning me a convoluted story about they've lost their wallet/been mugged. In the high street of the nearest town to where I live there has always been the odd homeless person sitting outside a shop and asking for any spare change.
But this is on a different level. Yesterday evening,I kid you not,I had 4 different people approach me on the space of an hour while I was making my way home from the town. Requests varied from 'Can you 'lend' me a fiver?' (Yeah right,like I'm ever going to get it back!) to 'Can you give a few quid to buy some food'. I (politely) said no to all of them as I am really not in a position to be handing out money to total strangers. But by the time the fourth person approached me,I was like WTAF?! I can guarantee that barely a day goes by when I'm out and about when I don't get at least one person asking me for money. Is it the area I live in? (West London) or is it because of benefit cuts and people are feeling the pinch?

OP posts:

Arpafeelie · 10/09/2018 19:20

On my way into the supermarket, a man asked me for money to buy a pint of milk. I said no, but bought a pint and gave it to him when I left. He held up the pint of milk and said "What the fuck is this?"

Noboozeforme · 10/09/2018 19:32

I was in Brighton over the summer. One night I was slightly inebriated and decided I would randomly buy a sleeping homeless guy some food and drink (sandwich, water and some beer). He was half awake when I went out of the shop and I offered him my purchases. He thanked me but declined the beer as he didn't drink.

Good learning curve for me.

Unescorted · 10/09/2018 19:34

In Manchester you can tell when another district rolls out universal credit by the uptick in beggers. The maximum rate a single person can claim for the housing element of their claim does not cover the rent of a room. So they have to choose between a roof or food. If you don't have an address you cannot claim any benefit so rent gets prioritised. But there is only so long you can go without food.

So they may be "fake" but they are still in desperate need. People don't get up and think getting sworn at, spat on and kicked is preferable to getting a job. This happens in daylight & because of othering very few people step in.

Also worrying are the number of working street homeless. People who are working on zero hours contracts who cannot afford rent but because they are employed don't get benefits.

Theweasleytwins · 10/09/2018 19:37

A homeless man asked me for a lighter the other day😑I was not smoking myself (never have) and am noticeably pregnant

mothertruck3r · 10/09/2018 19:40

Last time I was on the tube, 4 different people went through the carriage in succession (about 5 minutes apart) asking for money as they were homeless.

JT05 · 10/09/2018 19:42

Just today, as I had just got out of my car, I was approached by a young woman with a laminated card, on it was a text saying she was Croatian and had two young children and needed money.
Not the exact text, but I didn’t study it for too long! I said no and she walked on. I noticed she only approached single mature women. As I walked in the same direction for a couple of minute, she suddenly vanished.
This was a new one on me in a midlands Market town.

DaisysStew · 10/09/2018 19:43

I’m in Manchester, near the city centre and honest to god I’ve actually had people knock on my door at 10pm at night doing this. The Asda across the road is full of “homeless” people begging for change - except they’re not homeless they live on my estate, get benefits and spend the money on crack.

The worst was years ago when I was a teen. Just finished a night class at college (been at work all day) and was waiting for my bus in Piccadilly. Guy comes up with his kid (about 8/9 yrs old) and spins me a huge story about losing his bus pass, needs to get to his hostel as they lock up at 10pm and if he can’t get there him and his son will be on the streets. Felt horrible for him so gave him my last fiver (didn’t get paid for anothe week) only to then watch him blatantly go up to everyone else with the same story. In the space of 10 mins waiting for my bus he must have made nearly £20. Felt like a right prick.

Moral of the story is, if you want to give then give to a registered charity so it goes to those genuinely in need rather than professional grifters.

Byebyebye · 10/09/2018 21:09

@shinesweetfreedom

They aren’t homeless and don’t ask you for money for food or drink. They spin you a convoluted story about needing money for bus fare because they’ve lost their wallet or need to see their sick old mum in hospital.

As I say you see the same people every single day so you know their just professional beggar.

serbska · 10/09/2018 21:12

They should carry card machines, no one has cash on them any more

WhitefriarsDillyDuck · 10/09/2018 21:16

Leeds's terrible at the moment, oddly,,we were talking about it today at work.

Lots of people spiced out in Trevelyan Square.

Some are definitely professional beggars, I drive into the city each Saturday 1st thing and park somewhere low cost/free- at the same time a big group of street beggars are often arriving and parking up. They do shifts on the pitches- you can time the shift changes.

I donate money and goods to the Crypt. When I am sworn at for being mean I sometimes say that and then get worse abuse.

I don't know what the answer is.

Rhayader · 10/09/2018 21:27

One of my friends bought some shoes for a man who was begging barefoot outside his office. The next day the shoes were gone...

PawneeParksDept · 10/09/2018 21:33

It's precisely 36p because that's how much they are short the price of a pint @Maelstrop - a friend of a friend met us in Leeds once and a beggar screamed in her face. That was 20 years ago nearly but yes it wouldn't surprise me that it's linked to UC.

Littlegoth · 10/09/2018 21:40

@AsAProfessionalFekko

The Irish kids asking for sponsor money for their boxing club ‘fun run’! I’ve seen this on Deansgate and Albert Square in Manchester. Right little scammers!

Beargoesgrr · 10/09/2018 21:48

stuffs got quite bad within the past few years round here.

I can’t go into town for the beggars and discarded needles. I always used to give, but not anymore.

In the town, there were always 1-2 that I spotted begging. We’re now talking about 30+ who I see when driving through.

It’s most definitely a sight to see. I feel better knowing that the homeless are generally quite well supported here, we have 3 addiction charities working in the town, a day centre for the homeless (the queue outside in the morning is sadly massive. It just makes me very sad) we have a Salvation Army and a charity who feed the homeless each night, plus local churches, mosques etc feed the homeless and or poor a few times a week each.

Makes me feel better giving to them than those begging on the street

Boodapoo · 10/09/2018 21:53

Yup. I got asked very sweetly and told to fuck off when I refused

Also I overheard someone on benefit who told his friend that he'd rather ask money at the train station than work.

So nope, never ever giving them anything. Ever.

BadLad · 11/09/2018 00:24

I was on my way home once after a night out and a woman walked up and asked for a bite of my kebab. I was eating one, so I assume it wasn't a euphemism. Anyway, I refused.

BabySharkAteMyHamster · 11/09/2018 00:48

I once got asked for a tenner in Birkenhead town centre.......dp still laughs at my reaction 10 years on.

Butcowsdontgetmarried · 11/09/2018 00:54

I’ve been getting “the speech” a lot again recently. It disappeared for a few years but now it’s back - on one annoying journey it was four different people between 6 stops. Londoners may know the one I mean! I can actually do it myself now.
Although the do ask for spare food or drink, as well as money for the hostel (for a shower hot meal and bed for the night) a few of them are quite unwell and get abusive to peo0e who don’t give or gave the other day but won’t give again.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 11/09/2018 01:01

Unescorted thanks - I found your post compassionate and informative.

hibbledibble · 11/09/2018 01:05

I see them all the time. In central London they often do a 9-5 begging, then go home. They aren't genuinely homeless. It is run by gangs often.

At my local supermarket there is often quite aggressive begging, where they become rather nasty if refused cash.

I don't give on principle as I believe they are often not genuinely homeless, or spend the money on drink and drugs.

DangerMouse17 · 11/09/2018 01:18

Yep usually some story about losing their wallet and needing to top-up their oyster card.

I succumbed once and then a week later the same woman approached me with the exact same story. I reminded her of that and walked off...cheeky sods

I also have a feeling that the majority earn way more than I do!

DiegoMad0nna · 11/09/2018 01:19

When I was a student I had a woman with a child stop me and tell me how her family was about to lose their home unless they could come up with £500. I just said I couldn't help and walked away. Like anyone would give £500 to some random they met in the street

🤦‍♀️ I don't think they were expecting to get it all from one person

Twistofanxiety · 11/09/2018 01:24

I remember being asked for money by someone so he could get the coach home. I gave him the money. Okay I know but I could afford it and I felt sorry for him. A few days later he obviously didn't recognise me and asked again and I said, didn't you use the money I gave you last time to get home? The look on his face was a picture. Sadly it's made me less likely to give to individuals now.

DuskyMoth · 11/09/2018 01:33

I was asked for money a few weeks ago, the guy was apparently starving and needed money for food. I genuinely had no money on me, not even my purse as I'd accidentally left it at home, just my train ticket and my phone (thank goodness for Apple Pay).

I told him I don't have money but I did have food - I had a box of Nakd bars. He refused them! Said he wasn't that hungry 😂

HonestReally · 11/09/2018 01:37

This is why people shouldn’t give money to ANYONE on the street, ever, it just encourages scammers. There are plenty of charities who can make sure the money gets sent effectively.

People are really daft of they think they can tell who is genuine and who isn’t. For all anyone knows the ones with ridiculous fake stories might actually be more in need of help that the ones with convincing stories.

I think it’s irresponsible to give money to homeless people or people who say they are in need.

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