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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are you a fussy eater?

224 replies

Bimgy85 · 08/09/2018 20:26

I can't comprehend adults being fussy eaters. Fussy is for children surely, and at that, children aged up to 14/15

I truly don't understand fussy adults eating habits, I work with a woman who's 26 and she won't eat anything out of the ordinary. Ham sandwich for lunch and crisps, she cringed when I mentioned I was going for sushi for dinner, or even a basic Chinese buffet with vegetables noodles etc.

Are you a fussy eater, and why?

I understood everybody grew out of that

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 09/09/2018 13:58

The problem is that fussy eaters rarely keep it to themselves.

Rubbish. IME most people try to hide it because of judgmental arseholes.

manicinsomniac · 09/09/2018 14:15

I cannot for the life of me understand an adult who will make gagging noises when someone eats or is served something near them and I've seen that before. That is what I would classify as fussy and absolutely I judge that level of attention seeking behaviour (think gagging and dramatic "how can you eat that ??" Crap

That's not fussy! It's rudeness.

After doing charity work in Ethiopia a few years ago I think it’s impossible for me to be a fussy eater now when I saw the starvation everyone had to deal with over there

That's great but wouldn't work for many. I've worked with street children and travelled all over Brazil, India and Southern Africa. I'm still both ridiculously fussy and anorexic.

Opheliasgoldenwine · 09/09/2018 14:18

I don't like beetroot, raw onion and tomatoes. Other than that, I'll eat anything.

GinUnicorn · 09/09/2018 14:26

I used to think I really disliked fussy eaters. This was after a uni experience in a group of friends when one of the men would only eat steak and chips, or sausage and chips (but premium only.)

Whenever we all tried to do a meal even for someone’s birthday he would complain he was being left out if we wanted to go somewhere different, I.e Indian, Mexican, Chinese etc.

For some reason as a group we totally pandered to this and it left me with a dislike of fussy eaters.

However recently I discovered a good friend of mine is fussy. I’ve known her for years and never realised because she doesn’t try and dictate everyone’s choices - she quietly checks out the menu and declines if she won’t enjoy.

So I realised I don’t dislike fussy eaters at all I just dislike selfish people.

Arrowfanatic · 09/09/2018 14:44

I don't mind adults that don't like the taste of something, but I do find adults very childish if they won't try a new food after all if you don't try you won't know if you like it.

My older sister in incredibly fussy, but hers translates into a very unhealthy diet. She lives on takeaways but zero vegetables in them because she doesn't like how home cooked food tastes apparently. But then I've seen her make spag bol and, well it's just pasta and dry fried mince. No sauce, no tomato, no veg no herbs or anything.

My youngest daughter is 6 and so fussy it's painful, she will refuse foods she ate just a few days prior. It's exhausting.

I held a dinner party once and invited my older sister and she replied with a long, long LONG list of food I shouldn't cook. I ended up making lamb hot pot (she picked all the meat out and left the rest) and I made an apple and rhubarb crumble for dessert which I thought was tame (she refused and I had to dig the kids ice cream out the back of the freezer for her)

cathf · 09/09/2018 14:48

My mum is an incredibly fussy eater - if it's not meat or fish, two veg and potatoes, she doesn't want to know.
Never tried pasta, doesn't like rice, wouldn't dream of trying curry, chilli or anything spicy at all. Never tried (and never would) what I would consider mainstream potato alternatives such as couscous, noodles etc
Does not eat any type of vegeterian food - there always has to be meat or fish on the plate.
My dad was in hospital recently and my mum was eating with us three or four times a week, and it was a complete nightmare on the menu planning front.
Dad's home now, and they have slotted seamlessly into their routine of the same things every day of the week. I could tell you now what will be on the menu for every occasion we are invited to - it's either a roast dinner, barbecue with the same things every time, or a buffet, again with exactly the same things every time. It's great when I am following a diet as I can predict what I will eat!
BUT, the irony is, she sees her way as 'normal' and sees anyone who eats eg pasta as wildlessly adventurous and left-field.
She even had the audacity to call my uncle fussy because he doesn't like lamb, even thought he will eat anything else!

cathf · 09/09/2018 14:54

She is involved in a lot of church suppers etc, and when the menu is set, usually comes up with objections to completely normal foods such as eg spagetti Bolognaise, along the lines of 'who wants to eat things like that?' and is convinced that 'most people' would not expect something as exotic and unusual at a church supper.
Time after time, she is proved wrong, but she still doesn't get that she is the odd one out.
It's very frustrating.

Dommina · 09/09/2018 14:58

When I was young, I had gastroenteritis. Before this, I would eat anything. But I couldn't keep anything down. I lost half of my body weight while being a skinny child anyway. I was dangerously thin, which meant I was tube fed. At one point there was a malfunction or something, which meant the mushy food supposed to be in my throat, was shot in to my mouth and down my throat. It was a revolting, vile texture. I then (squeamish warning) threw up in my mouth, with the mushy food still there, and ended up swallowing the mixture.

I then ate nothing but dry, bland food. I was incredibly frightened of new food, anything bitter, anything wet or mushy. It wasn't helped by relatives who would make me sit and eat a now cold plate of mashed potatoes or something equally horrid. At one point a relative pinched my nose,pryed my mouth open and shoved a spoon of mashed potato in. I chucked all over Christmas Dinner. This continued in to my teens.

It has only been through being independent, and being patient with myself at university, that I was able to try new food. I still dislike most food with sauce or anything too exotic, but Ill always find something at a restaurant.

Interestingly, my mum took me to a nutritionist. My diet at age 8 was basically plain chicken, bread, meat, multivitamins and lots of fruit. I tried my first burger at age 11 for example. The nutritionist said that as long I'm hitting something out of the major food groups, who cares? I wasn't gorging on nothing but chicken nuggets.

It really upsets md when people assume I'm being picky or childish. It is a lifelong, very real food phobia. I will not apologise. Its none of your business why people eat the way they do. You don't like fussy eaters? I don't like people who look down their nose at everything.

AspieHere · 09/09/2018 15:03

"Fussy adults annoy me! SIL doesn't like ANY vegetables, or anything that's not junk food or white bread, basically. She's been steadily gaining weight in the 8 years I've known her and she's now massive, but blames it on medication whilst turning her nose up at anything remotely healthy in favour of junk food."

And? This makes an actual difference to your life how?

And no, I'm not childish for refusing to try different food or to just eat what's put in front of me. I'll eat whatever the hell I want and it's got sod all to do with anyone else.

Dommina · 09/09/2018 15:09

I don't mind adults that don't like the taste of something, but I do find adults very childish if they won't try a new food after all if you don't try you won't know if you like it.

There is a difference between trying a new food in the comfort of your own home, and being forced to try something in front of people.

If I don't like a food, I can't swallow it. I will throw up if it stays in my mouth, so I have to spit it in to a napkin. Which you would then call disgusting. Rock and a hard place, and one of the reasons that I was a recluse for a while because I didnt want to eat in front of people.

Racecardriver · 09/09/2018 15:46

I fussy. I try not to show it but a lot of foods I fundamentally don't enjoy. I can eat shusi of pasta putanesca but it's an unpleasant experience fir me.

FeminaSum · 09/09/2018 16:38

Oh and refusing to eat something you don't like, when someone has made it, is childish. Just eat a bit- it won't do you any harm.

No, but it'll make me retch and possibly be sick. The food isn't harmful. My sensory aversions are very strong. It's an ASD thing but I'm not going to announce that to everyone. I'm sure the host would prefer that I decline quietly and politely.

I'm past caring if people call me childish, boring or whatever. I used to be unable to eat in the presence of others in case they were judging my food or how I ate. I've overcome that anxiety, and that means that if someone is horribly offended by what I eat, I'd rather not be around them. As a teenager I turned down the opportunity of going on a holiday with a friend's family because she said her parents were the sort to get offended or annoyed if you didn't eat everything served to you - and this was a big deal since my family couldn't afford foreign holidays at the time. It's a lack of understanding of difference, really.

theSnuffster · 09/09/2018 16:41

I should add that I don't make a drama out of my fussiness! If anything it's something I try to hide. I don't think I've ever been to a restaurant where there was nothing on the menu I could eat. If I need to, I'll discreetly leave bits I don't like eg chunks of mushroom. And people around me can eat whatever they like!

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 09/09/2018 16:44

I'm a fussy eater. I hate it but I genuinely can't help it. It's all to do with texture and smells.
I absolutely hate it when people try to get me to try new things. If it was that easy I would. I'm considering hypnotherapy.

I'm working really hard to make sure my DS isn't the same.

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 09/09/2018 16:48

Reading this thread has been so reassuring. I'm not the only one!!

Lookingforadvice123 · 09/09/2018 16:51

AspieHere because on a regular basis I have to listen to her moan about how it's her medication, how she barely even eats while she stuffs her face with a McDonald's. Why the blatant lies? If she wants a McDonald's, fine, but own it.

Also when you make someone lunch with plenty of choice and leave it all on the table so people can help themselves, no pressure, and they pick and make faces. Guess what, it's rude and annoying. THAT'S how it affects me.

JacquesHammer · 09/09/2018 17:00

Embarrassing for our country really

What a load of utter fucking bilge Grin

Seriously OP you’re embarrassing yourself

SpottingTheZebras · 09/09/2018 17:00

Seriously OP you’re embarrassing yourself

^ This!

JacquesHammer · 09/09/2018 17:01

I have a friend who is fussy. When she comes to eat with me I tell her what I’m planning. She tells me if she’ll eat it, if not I cook something I know she’ll eat.

Getting together over food and enjoying company doesn’t mean forcing people to be uncomfortable.

It’s no hardship to check a menu when eating out to ensure she’ll eat something, because you see i love her more than any of the places I would choose to eat first.

Bloodybridget · 09/09/2018 17:08

I don't care if people are fussy as long as I don't have to cook for them, or go out to eat with them.

Bimgy85 · 09/09/2018 17:09

Well sorry now but clearly I'm not embarrassing myself if there are people agreeing with me, people saying that being fussy is childish Hmm

OP posts:
BlaaBlaaBlaa · 09/09/2018 17:16

All those people claiming fussy eaters are childish and selfish...you have no idea.
I go out of my way to make sure that my fussiness doesn't impact on anyone but me.

Like others I will study a restaurant menu before going to work out what I can eat.

I've taught myself to cook a wide range of meals so that my child gets a varied, healthy diet. I will happily cook meals I don't like for friends and family so that we can do normal things like dinner parties and big family meals.

I go to restaurants where I struggle with the menu so DH doesn't miss out on his favourite types of food ( he would never make me but I don't feel he should suffer)

It's exhausting and not something I would choose but I genuinely can't help it. I'm lucky that I have very understanding friends who appreciate how difficult it is and how much effort I make for them . They always make sure they have food in like.

Saying 'just try it' demonstrates a real lack of understanding and empathy. If it was that easy we'd do it.

Whatjusthappenedthere · 09/09/2018 17:17

My DH is the worst fussy eater I have encountered in my life. It drains my will to live cook most days. I feel the same triumph I felt when weaning the children if he actually likes sometime new such as quiche -- Confused

JacquesHammer · 09/09/2018 17:17

@Bimgy85

There’s none so blind and all that. I mean seriously, did you post “an embarrassment to the country” in earnest?

That you Tommy?

NorthernSpirit · 09/09/2018 17:22

Fussy eating drives me crazy.

I have a 13 DSD who is fussy to the extreme. Only eats orange cheese, the only ‘vegetable’ she’ll eat is baked beans (not even a true vegetable, it’s a pulse), we went on holiday over the summer and she ate a plain omelet and chips every night. Not one thing on the menu if circa 20 restaurants that she’d eat. I find it sad.

Her mum is also an extremely fussy eater.

Fussiness is nature not nurture (i’m a food scientist) we’re a product of our upbringing.

I actually find it sad for those involved as they don’t get (or rather won’t) get to try a wounderful variety of tasty nutritious foods.

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