To not accept neighbours packages...

[totallycluelessmama]

So my neighbour who I've never met or even seen has started putting on her packages that they should be delivered to me incase she is not home.

AIBU to not accept them it? Does that make me a shit neighbour?

Of course if we had met and she had asked it would be a different story but what pisses me off is that I have a baby who keeps getting woken up when the door rings unexpectedly.

I took something in for her today and feel like leaving it outside her door. 🤔

How do you know the neighbour has given those instructions? I've had courier write down 'as per delivery instruction' when giving to neighbours even though I've never said anything like this. Where was it written? Just curious and wondering if neighbour has really done that.

I'm happy to take in parcels for neighbours but it's very cheeky to put down your address without asking you.

Don't mind doing it for neighbours on one side because we always hear them coming in (and then knock to hand over the parcel) but on t'other side, no, because you never know when they're around. I once took in a large parcel for a household about six homes away (it was close to Christmas), it was sitting cluttering up my hall for a couple of days before I managed to catch them in.

If you've only just moved in, my guess would be that she had an arrangement with the previous occupants of your house to accept her deliveries.

She probably hasn't thought to update her delivery preferences as none of her actual details have changed.

Hopefully she'll be suitably apologetic when she comes to collect her delivery and you'll be able to move on.

Well it's an old instruction but I think your husband was ridiculous refusing the parcels!

It would've been easier to take it, when neighbour knocked for it you could say "hi we're neighbours, we've got a small baby so don't really want to have door bell ringing" but lovely to meet you!

So do that now and stop being so dramatic about an old instruction!

I've found a way to disable the entry system! Ha!

And don't think it's previous tenants because we've bought this flat brand new. (Development flat only got completed in July!)

I will be taking todays package over however and say hi. See how she reacts and if she doesn't seem bothered, I'll just not take any parcels and disable the system!

And to answer the question about instructions, I asked the driver and he showed me on his device it specifically said "deliver to [my doornumber] if not in]

Thanks guys!

FWIW it would be extremely rude and antisocial to leave the parcel outside and likely not solve the problem! Do you know, act like a neighbourly adult and explain the issue!

I'd take the parcel over and ask her not to specify you again. Nice but firm. And disable entry system unless you're expecting visitors.

She may well be a CF but please give her the benefit of the doubt until you’ve spoken to her! I’m saying this as last year drivers for a particular well known firm started giving my parcels to random neighbours instead of leaving them at my house as they always had done. When I spoke to the neighbours, each had been told by the driver that I’d specified for the parcel to be left at their address if I wasn’t in, which was an absolute bloody lie!
Had to complain to the company about it and it stopped.

It might be quite nice if you find she's your age and has a baby as well!

I've had parcels delivered 2 doors up when my delivery instructions say 'leave behind bin'.

Also 'sorry we missed you' when I've been in all day (and they must have crept down the drive to have avoided triggering the dogs' barking).

Just take the parcel round and ask her, and explain you will be disabling the entry system due to baby and she would be wise to change the instructions, regardless of whether she gave them those instructions to start with.

I've only just moved in!....It's the first package I've taken in but what really shocked me is that she's put us down as per delivery instructions

She's a cheeky fucker! Don't accept this arrogant and entitled behaviour OR the parcels otherwise you're setting a precedent.
She can arrange for delivery to her work or pick them up from the post office, this isn't your issue to take responsibility for.

explain you will be disabling the entry system due to baby and she would be wise to change the instructions

Oooh, excellent idea.

Just tell her you've got a baby so if she could change her delivery preference that'd be great, I suppose it would be Annoying if it's every week but wouldn't bother me now and again

Frlrlrubert "I've had parcels delivered 2 doors up when my delivery instructions say 'leave behind bin'."

So have I! My instructions are always "leave in the porch" but some drivers seem to take no notice of it. Neither of my neighbours are very keen on taking in parcels and I'm not sure they believe me when I say it wasn't my instruction!

They know you're home all day with the baby! Don't answer the door when the post man comes knocking!

Is job done, OP?

We are lucky that our neighbours are very good at taking parcels in for each other, but a new resident works as some sort of medical equipment rep and gets a massive UPS delivery several times a week. After having a hall full of boxes for 2 days while she was working away and then her kicking off as apparently she'd left a note for the UPS man saying her garage was open, I now have a parcels for this address only sign

I once took a parcel in for a neighbour four doors down and the contents of the parcel turned out to be damaged. I didn't know the neighbour and only took it in as the delivery driver delivered to us regularly and it was more as a favour to him. The neighbour was absolutely horrible to me because the items were damaged. I now only take parcels in for people in our road who I actually know.

Maybe the old neighbour used to do this for them?

Ive stopped doing this for one of my neighbours because a few weeks ago they had a fruit basket delivered and it turned out they were away for a week! It stank by the tile they got home and I felt awful about it. I even had to take it round because they didn’t come for it. I wouldn’t have minded, because it was just unfortunate but they didn’t even apologise that I’d had it all week, it was so awkward. I would have eaten it but I expected if I did that they would have come home a minute later!

I felt terrible refusing a parcel for them this week but they were so bloody ungrateful I won’t bother for them again

This seems to happen a lot to women on maternity leave. Guess they think we're home all day doing nothing.

As you have only moved in - your neighbour hasn't specified your details as new tenants/owners as delivery option but had an arrangement with previous occupants.

They were ordered before you moved in and being delivered now - it could be an opportunity to get to know your neighbour.

How did your husband deal with the two other delivery that came?

Good neighbours are like the old saying "we moved from the last village because the people were awful" and the reply was "in that case you will find the people in this village awful too"

OK SO UPDATE -

I went over with said package to say Hi.

She opened the door, looked at me and grabbed the package. She said didn't even say thanks and asked when did it come... wtf?

I asked if she had put us down for delivery incase she weren't in and she said yes as she knows I have a baby so I must be in, and that "it makes sense to".

WTF, AIBU TO THINK SHE'S A CHEEKY F?

@clyde5591 bought flat new. No previous owners. See above