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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To finally just leave them to it.

75 replies

HappyHippy45 · 08/09/2018 11:02

Dh invited a couple of friends over today but only told me yesterday they were coming. He forgot.
I have a disability and am not able to do very much in the way of cooking or cleaning.
If I'd known earlier I could have done little bits and pieces over the days with lots of breaks in between to get the house more guest ready.
The house is a state. Bins are full, floors need hoovered, shit needs put away in the right places, bathroom needs cleaned etc. Dining room table is covered with dh and ds stuff. Food also need prepared.
They are coming for lunch and dh and adult ds are still in bed. (10.55am) I got up an hour ago.
I've stuck the dishwasher on and made myself a cup of tea thinking I'll go for a shower in a bit.
Usually I'd overdo it by trying to tidy up but I'm done. AIBU to not even nag them to get out of bed?

OP posts:
Havaina · 08/09/2018 11:52

OP, I admire your cojones! Grin

Please can you live tweet the event? I'd love to hear about your 'D'H and DS scrambling around.

whererhewildthingsare

How come any adults are sleeping till 10am and beyond, do you all work late nights?

You do know it's the weekend, right?

viques · 08/09/2018 11:52

I think I would empty the kitchen bin, but as for the rest of it......there are three adults in your house, why should keeping track of other people's filth and belongings only be the responsibility of one of them?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/09/2018 11:57

Have the friends been to your house before? Do they know it's untidy? If so I wouldn't bother too much.

I couldn't have anyone round if my houses was a mess though. I feel for you OP, your H and DS need to sort their act out and pitch in with their share of the housework etc.

Thehop · 08/09/2018 11:59

Go to bed with a book and a brew. The shame is his.

LeftRightCentre · 08/09/2018 12:00

How come any adults are sleeping till 10am and beyond, do you all work late nights?

Because they can Hmm? God I hate sanctimonious morning people. That said, he invited them over, I'd do FA. I'd go out but I understand you want to see them. Would no longer skivvy for him, either.

Godowneasy · 08/09/2018 12:02

wherethewildthingis

Who put you in charge of what time we should get up in the morning?

Original poster
HappyHippy45 · 08/09/2018 12:03

Thank you for the moral support and admiration of my cajones Grin

Dh got up and saw I'd decanted the partial frozen meat into another dish so it was more spread out and should defrost in time. He said "Oh did you cut up the chicken?" He sounded very disappointed when I said no. Grin

I think he might be getting a bit panicky. He's asking if he needs to hoover.
I'm enjoying this far too much and don't know why I haven't done it before now.

OP posts:
Godowneasy · 08/09/2018 12:03

or in the afternoon? (grin)

GreenTulips · 08/09/2018 12:06

Might make him think twice about inviting people over again without giving you any notice

Why does OP need notice? She's not responsible for his guests is she? Nor is she the hired help.

RandomMess · 08/09/2018 12:07

Well he's finally going to learn the consequences of his (in)actions!

Juells · 08/09/2018 12:07

I'd go out to be honest, and leave him with the friends, the house and the kids. Assume that's what he meant.

^^ this

timeisnotaline · 08/09/2018 12:08

Excellent update. Leave him to it!

timeisnotaline · 08/09/2018 12:09

Also my mum started doing this when we were all grown up. If dad invited people around he has to be here to do the work. It’s a very sensible approach!

RyderWhiteSwan · 08/09/2018 12:09

OP I hope this is just the start of your DH adulting around the house Grin

No more 'maiding' for you! Flowers Gin Cake

Original poster
HappyHippy45 · 08/09/2018 12:09

@GreatDuckCookery
They've not been here for a year or so. The house isn't usually this bad because I usually half kill myself trying to do the bare minimum myself and giving instructions to dh and DS who needs coached through every task. This is them asking to be coached and instructed. I just want them to get on with it and figure it out. Even the mental load can exhaust me.

OP posts:
nicenewdusters · 08/09/2018 12:11

Sit back and enjoy OP. Sometimes you just have to let people fall/fail before anything can change.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 08/09/2018 12:12

They need a bloody good shake up OP.
I hope to god they pull their finger out now although there's not much time.

Go and have a shower and let them get on with it.

BlueSkyBurningBright · 08/09/2018 12:14

Why don't you take them out for lunch and arrange to meet at the restaurant. Then you can have a nice stress free meal and a chat without worrying about the house. Get your dh to pay of course.

Strugglingtodomybest · 08/09/2018 12:14

I wouldn't do anything. Anyone who judges you on the state of your house is a saddo anyway so who cares what they think? Go back to bed I say!

Cagliostro · 08/09/2018 12:17

Glad he is panicking!

gamerwidow · 08/09/2018 12:17

You’re 100% not wrong to not do anything to sort the house out but I think I would have woken DH up to at least give him the chance to do the work himself.

TanteRose · 08/09/2018 12:23

@HappyHippy45
Yes, all the fucking time

I fucking knew it...

How’s it going? Panic stations?

I would say enjoy, but it must be sooo frustrating Angry

Eliza9917 · 08/09/2018 12:24

The house is a state. Bins are full, floors need hoovered, shit needs put away in the right places, bathroom needs cleaned etc. Dining room table is covered with dh and ds stuff. Food also need prepared.
They are coming for lunch and dh and adult ds are still in bed. (10.55am) I got up an hour ago.

They are your DH's guests, he should do all the cleaning, shopping and cooking. He should also be up ready when they arrive. If he, the he house and food aren't ready when they do, that's his tough shit.

What a lazy bastard.

Juells · 08/09/2018 12:29

I think I would have woken DH up to at least give him the chance to do the work himself.

Also known as 'taking responsibility' for what he has arranged. Does anyone follow you around reminding you of things you need to do? Making sure you wake up on time? He invited them, he needs to do the organising himself.

FetchezLaVache · 08/09/2018 12:32

OP I am so enjoying your enjoyment of this! Go large, lovely - I bet it's the last time the fucker ever forgets to forewarn you of weekend guests. Grin