Hello,
I have been on here before about problems in my marriage. My husband has depression and the way it manifests itself is that he eats junk food constantly, lies in bed all day, is extremely prone to anger and aggressive and has absolutely no self-esteem.
We have been fighting for years that he does absolutely nothing around the house. Many weekends he lies in bed all day and he slept the whole way through Christmas and Easter and many other important and not so important days but still a waste is time. Naturally this has made me very angry and hurt. I am constantly bubbling with rage but every time I say anything to him it turns into a huge row, it often gets violent with things being broken and thrown and once he kicked me. He is verbally abusive and has called me things like bastard, cunt and psycho, He then off in a fit of temper and I stay home in hysterics and I self harm. When he comes come he blames me for not backing off when he gets angry and driving him to it.
Our finances have been tight as we have just renovated our house and we have no social life. He says we can’t afford anything but he spends at least £60 a week on himself eating out.
We have been in separate bedrooms for almost a year no and no sex for a year before that his anti depressants suppress libido and he eats so much junk he’s not fit. I am also being treated for fertility problems.
We were going to counselling about a year ago (at my request) but he threw in the towel and refused to go back. Things didn’t improve and in fact they got worse. We started with a different counsellor a few weeks ago (again at my request) and I thought things were going well. I felt that I was getting a lot off my chest and was being understood and empathised with. Last week the counsellor was quite hard on him trying to get him to confront his anger. Since then he has blanked me, he has been staying out late (until 9pm) and ignoring me when he does come home. The only thing he did say is that the counselling isn’t working and the counsellor thinks he is a psycho.
Today I was looking at our phone bill and there were some extra charges to a strange number. When I googled it it brought up an escort agency and when I rang it a woman with a foreign accent answered. I just don’t know what to think.
I feel so so alone and I don’t know what to do. I can’t go on like this, I feel like I have given my all to this marriage and got nothing in return.