Paying for bridesmaids

[jarhead123]

AIBU?

SIL is getting married and wants our daughter as bridesmaid (also having 4 others). DH has told me we will be paying for the dress as they haven't got much money. I said I thought this was a bit cheeky and that if you don't have much spare cash, you should have less bridesmaids so you can pay for their dress etc.

He thinks I am being a snob!

Who is U?

Bride should always expect to pay for everything upon which she had decided eg outfit, shoes, hotel night before, hair , makeup etc.
In your situation your DH might have offered in a brotherly way to help his sister rather than she demanding that you subsidise her 'big day'. I think we would be likely to do this in your situation as a contribution to the occasion. It rather depends on whether she assumed or not.

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses, makeup and hair. They had really cool dresses that they have worn again.

One of them has asked my dd to be a flower girl for her but also asked me to pay for dress and flowers the cheeky sod 😂

I got married at 20. Wanted 2 bridesmaids and a flower girl and was going to pay for their dresses. Got blackmailed into having 3 additional bridesmaids I didn't want. My Sister as my Mum assumed that she would be one and when I said I didn't really want her she said I had to or they wouldn't help with the things they'd agreed. Also I wanted one of my ex's cousins and got told that I couldn't have her unless I had her sister too (after asking her so couldn't retract offer) and then the knock on of having to ask the only other female cousin of that side or her family would fall out with us. I basically had 3 people I wanted out of 6 so when I came under that pressure I said they could be bridesmaids provided their families paid for their dresses etc. I was too young to stand up to everyone and cause what felt like a family rift over it.

I have also been a bridesmaid for a friend and we (me and other adult bridesmaid) offered and were happy to pay for our own dresses.

It is cheeky but I'd pay as a gift to bride and so dd got to be bridesmaid. If it's a standard type of dress from high street it shouldn't be too much.

Bride should pay, but if the bridesmaid is happy to then I can't see a big deal.

www.theknot.com/content/wedding-budget-who-pays-for-what

If they haven't got much money, why on earth are they wasting what bit they have on this sort of nonsense?

Theknot.com is a US site so it's different to the uk.

I think the bride should pay for everything to do with her bridesmaids. If she can't, have less.
Why should someone have to pay because you decide to get married and want them involved?

For a famliy wedding I would suck it up as would have buy her a outfit anyways this way you have a say in what your daughter wears .

I think Bridesmaids paying for their own dress is more of a US thing, isn't it? Whenever I watched one of those 'Bridezilla' programmes, the BMs were being dictated to, whilst having to cough up for the privilege! I paid for my BMs' dresses, and shoes, hair, accessories. I don't know any of my friends or relatives who didn't pay for their BMs' stuff.

My bridesmaids paid for their own and my daughter's bridesmaids paid half. On both occasions it was done happily to support a highly expensive time! And both times it was a dress of their choosing that thry could wear again. Anothe friend recently was a bridesmaid and had the option to pay for it and keep it or not pay and just wear it on the day.