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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not want to go on the pill?

47 replies

coffeeforone · 07/09/2018 08:59

I'm 33 years old and have never taken any kind of hormone contraceptive. I've never wanted to put can't place my finger on exactly why.

DH and I have been together for 12 years (married 5) and used the withdrawal method successfully for the first 9 years. The first 'failure' of this method resulted in DS1 about a year earlier than we planned. We used condoms after DS1 until we wanted to try for DC2, and we conceived first month of not using condoms. I'm 38 weeks pregnant now and we have been discussing how we go forward with contraception. We would both prefer not to use condoms but agree they are probably the most reliable. I know friends who have fell pregnant on the pill which is another reason I don't like the idea, and obviously we can't trust the withdrawal method any more.

Aside from the snip, what other very reliable options do we have??

OP posts:
Labradoodliedoodoo · 07/09/2018 09:01

I hated the pill each time I tried it. Condomns

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 07/09/2018 09:03

Natural Cycles is about 93% effective - regular temping and tracking on the app. That may be too low a percentage for you but it’s the only option that isn’t condoms or hormones (though you still need to use condoms on red days)
I used to have a Mirena coil and was very happy with that. Stick it in and don’t worry for 5 years.

ShatnersWig · 07/09/2018 09:04

Not a huge amount left. But at 33 I'm surprised you've not heard of the coil or implant?

Original poster
coffeeforone · 07/09/2018 09:05

I think that's why I don't like the idea of taking it! So many friends having issues with side effects and needing to try loads of different brands etc. I'd prefer something more natural but still reliable. But do we really need to use condoms forever?

OP posts:
loubluee · 07/09/2018 09:07

Copper coil? No hormones

Original poster
coffeeforone · 07/09/2018 09:07

But at 33 I'm surprised you've not heard of the coil or implant?

I thought the implant was just a different different method of administering the pill.

Think I need to read up on the coil!

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 07/09/2018 09:08

But do we really need to use condoms forever?
Yes unless one of you is sterilised or you use a copper iud.
All other contraception is hormone based.

Bluebell9 · 07/09/2018 09:12

Have you thought about the copper coil?

SendintheArdwolves · 07/09/2018 09:12

You could try a diaphragm? Bit old school, but no hormones and no messing around in the moment.

mooftoon · 07/09/2018 09:14

I'm interested to the read responses of this, I'm in the same position, I hated the pill

OutPinked · 07/09/2018 09:18

The implant was horrendous for me and I know I’m not alone with that. I bled heavily the entire time it was in and completely lost my libido as a result. I guessed that’s why it’s such an effective contraceptive tbh, no one wants to have sex with it in!

I’m considering the copper coil after this baby, it’s the only hormone free contraceptive aside from condoms.

LoniceraJaponica · 07/09/2018 09:19

I think you need to consider each option carefully. Other people's experiences of hormonal contraception are irrelevent here because everyone is different. Often people only post about negative experiences. You don't hear about the millions of women who get on with the pill/implant without any problems.

LilithTheKitty · 07/09/2018 09:20

I don't get on with hormonal contraception at all. I'd suggest the copper coil. I've had one for years now. There's no hormones. If you suffer with very heavy, painful periods though it may not work for you. It makes your periods a bit more painful and a bit heavier. This isn't too bad for me because mine weren't too bad beforehand so a bit of extra cramping is a bearable payoff for no hormones and no pregnancy scares.

JellyBaby666 · 07/09/2018 09:20

Copper coil.

The implant (device which is small like a toothpick) inserted into your arm and stays there for 3 years, or sooner if you want it removed. Is hormone based and I personally wouldn't recommend it, its messed with my cycle so much and caused really heavy painful irregular bleeding, as progesterone often does. I have had to take the pill on top to try and stop the bleeding which has been awful and I'm coming off both.

My advice? Condoms, the copper coil or the snip, if you're avoiding hormones.

Lovestonap · 07/09/2018 09:22

I went with the copper coil because I occasionally suffer from depression and I didn't want extra hormones. Wasn't too uncomfortable to fit (ask for the anaesthetic injection) Couple of heavy periods to begin with then settled right down to my usual cycle. Couple of years on and no regrets and not having to think about contraception is great.

WhiteCat1704 · 07/09/2018 09:22

I had copper IUD but don't recommend it. It definitely changed my cycle, had longer and very painful periods. Had it for almost a year and in the end the damn thing got "expelled" from my uterus and shifted causing loads of pain. The strings were still in the same place so it took me months to find out what was wrong. In the end USG scan showed what happened and I had it taken out.
Never again...was VERY lucky not to get pregnant as as soon as it wasn't in place I wasn't protected.

It's condoms and lady comp until DH agrees to vasectomy.

Potatoandleeek · 07/09/2018 10:23

I considered the copper coil as I wanted to avoid hormones. What put me off is the mechanism of how it works - the copper causes a mild inflammatory response in the uterus which ends up killing sperm.

Since this device is to be used for years, I wonder about the long term effects of keeping an organ in a state of constant inflammation (albeit mild). We don’t know an awful lot about inflammation, but we do know that it goes hand in hand with autoimmune diseases. As someone who already has an autoimmune disease I’d rather not increase inflammation in my body.

A lot of people love the copper coil, but there’s too many unknowns for me, especially when condoms are cheap and plentiful, with no long term side effects.

Racecardriver · 07/09/2018 10:28

I also hate condoms and refuse to use hormonal contraceptives. We discussed a vasectomy but the rate of side effects/complications is very high-10%. So instead I tried the copper coil (there are two kinds, one is hormonal and thickens the mucus in your cervix/prevents ovulation and the other has copper wrapped around the stem, the copper changes the pH of your uterus acting as a soermicide). Some people don't get on with coils but they are worth a try. They are the most reliable method of contraception and, assuming that you don't suffer side effects, have pretty much no impact on your day to day life or your sex life.

DoraDont · 07/09/2018 10:30

I'm 44 and was on the pill once about 25 years ago for a few months. Came off it and never went back. My doctor thought I was a right old hippy because I preferred being in touch with my body's natural rhythms.

I had a copper coil when I was in a long term relationship, other than that, condoms. I really liked my coil, and was lucky I had no issues with it.

LuvSmallDogs · 07/09/2018 10:38

I tried the mini pill and it interacted with my depression/anxiety in a really, uh, interesting way. I told the prescribing doctor why I had stopped taking it and she told me “that doesn’t happen”.

After I’ve had number three, it’ll be back to condoms until DH can get a vasectomy. After going through three pregnancies and births I will not be playing Russian Roulette with hormones or getting my own reproductive system messed about with further.

originalusernamefail · 07/09/2018 10:45

I’m very happy with my copper coil. Having it fitted was ok, and now apart from checking the strings every month or so I don’t have to think about it for ten years. I did years of hormonal contraception then years of treatment for a pituitary tumour (not related). It’s nice to just be ‘me’ iyswim?

brookshelley · 07/09/2018 10:53

You'll only know if you try. I've heard horror stories about progesterone-based methods but I got on really well with the implant. I'm on the minipill now and I feel great so I'm going to switch to the Mirena (same type of hormones) as I don't want any more babies.

However in my case I have fibroids and heavy periods so my GP said copper coil would be a bad choice for me.

I know hormones have side effects but nothing I've experienced on contraception has been worse than pregnancy, newborn phase, or the horrific PMT I developed after having my first child.

Myotherusernameisbest · 07/09/2018 11:02

Does anyone know if when you have the copper coil fitted you get a period straight away? Or does your cycle just carry on as normal?

Titsywoo · 07/09/2018 11:07

I haven't used the pill since I was about 21 - I didn't want to put the hormones in my body. DH and I used condoms then as soon as our family was complete he had a vasectomy. Condoms obviously aren't 100% effective and we didn't want to take any chances.

LilithTheKitty · 08/09/2018 13:18

@Myotherusernameisbest It's usually recommended to have it fitted at the tail end of your period as it makes the fitting easier. It was so long since the fitting that I timed right that I can't remember if it extended my period or not. I had one fitted while not still on and i had a bbit of spotting for a day or two and a bit of cramping but it wasnt a period and my next period arrived whenit was due.

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