to not want to go on the pill?

[coffeeforone]

I'm 33 years old and have never taken any kind of hormone contraceptive. I've never wanted to put can't place my finger on exactly why.

DH and I have been together for 12 years (married 5) and used the withdrawal method successfully for the first 9 years. The first 'failure' of this method resulted in DS1 about a year earlier than we planned. We used condoms after DS1 until we wanted to try for DC2, and we conceived first month of not using condoms. I'm 38 weeks pregnant now and we have been discussing how we go forward with contraception. We would both prefer not to use condoms but agree they are probably the most reliable. I know friends who have fell pregnant on the pill which is another reason I don't like the idea, and obviously we can't trust the withdrawal method any more.

Aside from the snip, what other very reliable options do we have??

pull and pray is not contraception, it is luck. You ruined the fun for 9 years for no point.

hormones, implants, IUD or latex. Or one of you gets snipped.

it is a pain but that's science for you.

I use the same injection, no side effects for me, and the added bonus is no periods.

Diaphragm or condoms.

The snip. After 20 years of hormones and 2 babies (with addition stitches and thrush through breastfeeding), I didn't think it was too much to ask dh. He had a week of bruising (like me after dc1), then was fine.

I can throuroughly recommend a copper coil, though realise this isnt suitable if you have heavy periods.

I did have to fight hard for it as my GP desperately tried to push a Mirena coil (the one with hormones) on me

Symptothermal method. With 2 barriers during the fertile window.

I can’t wait to ditch the pill. My husband has agreed to a vasectomy. I’m fed up with having hormones pumped into my body!

I found it annoying how quickly after the birth of DD2 the doctors were pushing hormone contraceptives onto me. Whay the assumption that contraception is solely my responsibility?!

I have a copper coil and I have basically forgotten it’s there for the last 8 years. I was on the pill before kids but couldn’t find one to suit after. My dr was great and didn’t push hormonal contraceptives on me at all. I haven’t experienced any extra pain or heavier bleeding.

Since this device is to be used for years, I wonder about the long term effects of keeping an organ in a state of constant inflammation (albeit mild). We don’t know an awful lot about inflammation, but we do know that it goes hand in hand with autoimmune diseases. As someone who already has an autoimmune disease I’d rather not increase inflammation in my body.
I totally agree with this. It is something which is never discussed, which I find odd.

I have been using the symptothermal method for over 100 cycles now, 2 planned pregnancies. We use condoms during my fertile window, which is about 40% of one cycle. I wouldn't trust apps or computers like Persona, they have higher failure rates (93% effectiveness?! I would never use a method with those rates!) and are expensive. The symptothermal method is simple, easy to learn, safe and cheap.

Mini pill didn't agree with me, am not allowed normal pill and umm and ahhed about which coil. Decided to try Mirena and switch to copper if I didn't get on with it. But really love Mirena - no periods but I can still feel my underlying cycle which means no weight gain etc. That is the plan until Menpause now.

Following.
I've just had DC2 and 99% sure that we're two and done. I don't want any hormonal contraceptives, and my sister had a horrendous experience with a coil where it ended up outside her cervix, she was in agony. Vasectomy is an option, but seems so final... it will be condoms in the meantime!

Copper coil is fab, mine unfortunately expelled itself as I have a small uterus apparently! I had it for 3 months and would have kept at it forever had it stayed in.

I’m now using a symptothermal method of Fertility Awareness. I would advise against Natural Cycles, I started out with that and once I learned more about Fertility Awareness I realised some of the ‘green days’ I was being given were pretty risky as it relies on predictions from past cycles as well as your basal body temperature. You do need to be committed to taking your temperature and comfortable with your own body as you need to check cervical mucus quality. it’s advised you don’t have unprotected sex for the first 3 months or until you’re confident interpreting your own charts/fertile signs. There’s a group on Facebook called The Fertility Awareness Method of Birth Control and a great book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility if you are interested in it.

It’s not for everyone but I’m on my 11th successful cycle and there are ladies in the Facebook group who’ve been using it for years. It’s NOT the same as rhythm method or any calendar based methods.

I used a diaphragm before falling pregnant because I didn't want the hormones and I didn't want the copper coil because we were going to try and conceive within a year so I didn't see the point in going through it.
It's really easy to use and you use it with a spermacide gel. It has a lower success rate than other contraceptions, but that wasn't a concern for us when we were going to try and conceive anyway

Nuva ring is hormonal contraception but lower/more directed dose than taking a pill, as, well, it's a ring you wear inside you. It could be worth trying to see how you find it as (unlike implant etc) you can just take it out if you don't like it.

I tried to do no hormones after developing problems after 10yrs of combined pill and being put on cerazette which didn't agree with me. Tried both coil types and no good. Ended up relying on condoms but with a lot of problematic side effects of my natural cycle (totally unexpectedly as I'd never had an issue before). I relented after my Gp spoke to me about how we're not really evolved to have 20yrs of menstruation, we're biologically meant to be pregnant or breastfeeding for half of that so pills actually mimic what we'd be dealing with au naturele as it were... Currently have settled on a version of the mini pill which seems lesser of the evils.

Copper coil is ace, and one of the most reliable methods of contraception. I was on the pill for acne (Dianette) for 10 years, and I regret it. I'd never take hormones again. Until I reach menopause and get symptoms in which case I will be on HRT faster than you can say Loose Women.

@Oldraver - my GP pushed REALLY hard for me to have the Mirena hormonal coil too! She said because I'd had twins, it would make my periods too heavy and I'd regret it. I politely declined twice, then when she kept going, said in a really firm, really smiley way 'Yeah, so I'm just absolutely not going to have synthetic hormones in my body again. 😃👍🏼', at which point she gave up.

My periods are heavy (because twins) for a day or so, but totally manageable with a mooncup. I always wondered if my GP was secretly on commission from the drug company 👻

If the coil works by causing an inflammatory response, does it still work if you take anti inflammatory meds?

I relented after my Gp spoke to me about how we're not really evolved to have 20yrs of menstruation, we're biologically meant to be pregnant or breastfeeding for half of that so pills actually mimic what we'd be dealing with au naturele as it were...

This is an interesting point. I never had PMT until after DC1 was born. Once I stopped breastfeeding my periods were horrific - physical and emotional symptoms that negatively affected my quality of life. I actually realized I was pregnant with DC2 because the few days before my period was due, I felt so good whereas I'd been used to feeling slightly insane and ill.

I'm using minipill now as BF DC2 but I'm going for my Mirena shortly. I've realized that at least in this period of my life, hormones seem to be a good thing for me. So it really does differ from person to person, but your GPs comment strikes a chord with me.

Thanks for all the responses. I think I will try the copper coil which I've also read up on since posting.

I'm quite embarrassed that I didn't realise that this was non-hormonal and my very little knowledge of contraception!

Everyone I know seems to be on the pill, mini pill, implant or injection! Never consulted a medical professional about contraception except at my 6 week check after DS1. GP basically said all methods were the same hormone administered in different ways, except the mini-pill which is different but still hormonal. I came out empty handed thinking I would read up but never did and just used condoms for 18 months until we wanted DC2.

We're 99% sure we don't want DC3 after this one but the snip is just too risky/final when we have that 1% doubt.

I tried natural cycles and followed it religiously. Got pg the second month of using it. Really didn’t want to have a baby and was looking at having an abortion, but found out I had miscarried. I wouldn’t advise going through that.

My bf has had the snip now. He had a week of things being sore, and now 2 months later he does have the odd day where his nuts are a bit sensitive and has to take painkillers, but that’s maybe 1 in 10 days. The doctor said this is normal and it can just take a while to settle down.

Team condom over here.
I just cant deal with stuff messing with natural hormones (terrible experience with the depo injection circa 15 years ish ago)
I also cant deal with stuff being shoved up there.
Natural cycle feels just a touch risky for myself even with apps etc.