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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed what the school has done?

212 replies

Tistheseason17 · 06/09/2018 19:52

My DD5 has come back from school today and her book bag, which had a discrete label on the back with her name/class on it, now has her name written in full in big black marker pen across the top of it.

No consultation or contact from the school. They just defaced our personal property without consideration for child safeguarding or respect for personal property.

The school has a strict policy on social media posting of photos of children but they are showing everyone as we walk to school her full name easily visible across the top of the bag.

I am fully prepared to be flamed! That is the point of AIBU so I will acknowledge if everyone thinks I am over reacting!

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 07/09/2018 07:58

OP, I wasn’t referring to you - other posters said you wouldn’t be able to sell it on. Maybe you missed those posts.

SuburbanRhonda · 07/09/2018 08:01

Oh hello,little 'tisthe, don't you remember me? Your mum is running late and asked me to pick you up

Under no circumstances would a teacher release a child to someone other than the parents unless advised by the parents.

Especially someone who greets a 5-year-old, with “don’t you remember me?”.

KnotsInMay · 07/09/2018 08:04

Personal property? Do the school not issue book bags?

LOL at pass it in to a sibling or sell it. They are usually wrecked and filthy!

Original poster
Tistheseason17 · 07/09/2018 08:11

@SuburbanRhonda
Thanks Smile It's so hard to know who is responding to whom! No offence taken and I hope I did not offend you either.

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 07/09/2018 08:29

Not at all, OP Smile

SuburbanRhonda · 07/09/2018 08:31

Personal property? Do the school not issue book bags?

No, we can’t afford to provide any uniform items for free because school budgets have been pared to the bare minimum.

In our school you don’t have to have a logo book bag though.

Snooky1 · 07/09/2018 09:04

I agree with you I think the name shouldn't have been written. I think children should look smart for school and her name in marker pen is not that smart. I agree that I don't let my children wear things that tell strangers their names for safe guarding but I presume the only time she will be carrying the bag is when someone is walking her to school or home so she should be quite safe. I am not sure I would complain as I don't think I want to be known as 'that parent'.

Ekphrasis · 07/09/2018 09:06

Wow mumsnet aibu at its finest!

I posted 2nd on the thread and probably should have been clearer; as a teacher, as the teachers in the thread have said: (to the posters!)

YANBU.

It's a safeguarding issue.

Speak to the teacher or head.

This would be a question in our (very regular) safeguarding training and not one person in our school (v large staff) would say it's a good idea to do this.

Apart from anything, THAT'S THE POINT OF THE FLAP THAT HIDES THE NAME!

I don't think ofsted would be impressed.

And I'm really sorry about your childhood experiences OP. Thanks

fuzzyfozzy · 07/09/2018 09:10

Our primary ht said not to do that as strangers would know your child's name.

Cindersdonegood · 07/09/2018 09:19

Safeguarding aside, it's your bloody property! No one has the right to write on something you bought unless you bought it for them and it is now their property.
I would be annoyed at my child's full name being put on display but probably just as much, I'd be bloody annoyed at it being scrawled in marker pen in big letters making a brand new bag look scruffy and quite frankly, ruined!
They're not too expensive so I would buy a new one, put my child's details in the name tag bit (which is where the feckin' name should go!) and tell the teacher they are not to draw or write on it or she/he will be billed for a new one.

Original poster
Tistheseason17 · 07/09/2018 09:21

@Ekphrasis
Thank you. I talked about it a lot at the time so recovery was pretty good. But when you have your own children I do think it takes you back a bit and you worry for them waaaay more!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tistheseason17 · 07/09/2018 09:48

Very prompt action from school.
Personal call from HT
Acknowledged it IS safeguarding issue and has offered to replace bag which I have declined. I do not want to take funding from schools - I took advice further up with alcohol based nail varnish remover and it's barely visible.

Turns out several other parents had raised it, too.

All resolved and concerns about safeguarding justifed.

Thank you to everyone who commented, it was certainly an eye-opening with some views! Plus great ideas on decorating bags!

OP posts:
loubluee · 07/09/2018 09:52

As an ex reception class teacher, I never had a problem giving out 28 identical book bags- I read the name on the little white label.

The writing of a full name can cause so many issues, not just stranger danger issues, but if families are estranged etc.

AlexanderHamilton · 07/09/2018 09:53

Good, sensible outcome OP.

TwoBlueShoes · 07/09/2018 09:53

That’s great!

loubluee · 07/09/2018 09:54

Glad it’s sorted!!

SlartiAardvark · 07/09/2018 10:03

Excellent!!

I'd personally be annoyed that someone had decided to write on my property rather than sending a note asking to make it more identifiable.

I'd attache a large, bright & removable label to the handle/strap - I can't be the only person who re-uses bags for other kids, myself etc....

PorkFlute · 07/09/2018 10:29

Hmm Id let it go tbh. Unless you're happy to wait outside an extra 10 mins for a ta to faff around peeling the covers back on bags at the end of the day.
My kids were both given a book bag at the start of school so if the school wanted names on the handles I wouldn't have been worried about them defacing it! In fact I have sharpied dds name on the outside of her lunchbag myself as it's more important to me that she can find her lunch (popular bag design) than she has an immaculate looking bag.
I don't see the cp issue either. You wouldn't be able to refer to your child by name in public if you worried about people using it to gain confidence. If your child is young enough to go with someone who knows their first and last name then they're too young to be unsupervised in public imo. And a school wouldn't release a 5yo to someone who wasn't a parent or approved by them.

PorkFlute · 07/09/2018 10:31

How is it a safeguarding issue??????

PorkFlute · 07/09/2018 10:33

And I ask that as sone one who has had very recent safeguarding training. Head is humouring the op and shutting down the complaint imo.

Original poster
Tistheseason17 · 07/09/2018 10:39

@PorkFlute
Advertising a child's full name is a child safeguarding issue.
HT advised they had stopped writing the name on a couple of years ago for this reason and this had been a mistake - evidenced by no other years in the school having had it done to their bags.

He did not have to humour me. He could have said, "No, it is not a safeguarding issue". Instead he has purchased 30+ book bags to replace the ones they screwed up on and formally apologised. And, just to confirm, I will NOT be accepting a new one as I can make do with my old one with the name scrubbed out. Schools need the cash.

I would suggest you go back to your safeguarding trainer to ask her to explain it to you and if you RTFT there are plenty of examples for safeguarding trained TEACHERS who will confirm it is an issue.

Have a nice day!

OP posts:
thesendiaries · 07/09/2018 10:44

I can imagine it could be safeguarding. It happened to a friend in a similar way where it became an issue.

Imagine a child is in care or has fled an abusive parent and the parent doesn't know whereabouts or what the child now fully looks like.
Parent of child A takes a picture which includes child B in the background and shares it on social media. The picture means the child's name is fully visible for whatever reason.
The absent parents friend is one of those 1k plus friends on Facebook who sees the picture. The friend doesn't know what the child looks like but sees the picture, knows that the absent parent thinks child is in x Town and sees the name and shares picture to ask absent parent if this is their son.

It's not as far fetched as it might be.

Original poster
Tistheseason17 · 07/09/2018 10:54

@thesendiaries
Exactly. Thanks for putting it better than me.

OP posts:
PorkFlute · 07/09/2018 10:54

There's no 100% safe proofing. By that logic uniforms would be a safeguarding issue as children who have fled a violent parent could be in the background of a photo in their uniform which is then shared and allows their parent to find out their location and school. And a uniform would be much more likely to be identifiable on a photo than a name written on a book bag.

Original poster
Tistheseason17 · 07/09/2018 10:59

@PorkFlute
A child with their back to the camera holding a book bag with their name in bold, large and visible is more outing than the child simply having their back to the camera and not being identifiable by a book bag. My kids don't usually carry around large signs with their full names on them.

OP posts: