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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you find this marriage weird?

104 replies

CoughLaughFart · 06/09/2018 19:51

So a colleague I don’t know that well announced her engagement today. I was chatting to her about it and asked how she met her fiancé. She sort of laughed and said ‘Well it’s a bit strange - he’s my stepsister’s half-brother!’

I was struggling to get my head around how it works at first, but basically her stepmother has a child from her first marriage whose father went on to have another child (the man she’s marrying) with someone else. There’s no direct family relationship between my colleague and her fiancé - they’re not even step-siblings - but it just seems such an odd dynamic! Would you find it weird?

OP posts:
smurfy2015 · 08/09/2018 08:52

Doesn't all sound so weird to me

smurfy2015 · 08/09/2018 08:55

My oldest nephew was with his partner for 6 years. They had 2 kids together. Her father and his maternal grandfather are 1st cousins. Her surname was the maiden name of his mother.

Oldest nephew as the nieces and nephews come from a highly blended family; he has a different surname to younger family.

A couple of years on from their split he as he has met some and has another child and another on way. He has an unusual surname and would you believe it? She has the same surname.

So the 1st relationship was linked thru his mother’s side and the 2nd relationship is linked thru his father’s name.

So yet again he managed the exact same relationship with a slight difference, his father and her maternal grandfather, are 1st cousins. He has one child already in 2nd relationshop and another on way.

Couldn’t place bets on it

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/09/2018 08:57

Use better words OP. 'Weird' isn't a nice word and it's judgemental - and this thread is gossipy. I'm glad that most posters have pulled you up on it. You weren't 'innocently sharing an opinion' either, stop being disingenuous.

I also hope that your colleague doesn't see this thread and recognise her situation and see your rather nasty comments.

Original poster
CoughLaughFart · 08/09/2018 09:01

Pretty much all AIBU threads are ‘gossipy’.

OP posts:
lovetherisingsun · 08/09/2018 09:09

Gosh, you're a bit aggressive.

5SecondsFromWilding · 08/09/2018 09:12

I've come across a couple before whose mothers were twin sisters and they'd grown up on the same street together. They were very close all their lives. That, for me, is about as ick as it gets without being illegal.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/09/2018 09:15

No they aren't OP, this one is. It would be vile but for posters in the majority telling you to wind your neck in.

C8H10N4O2 · 08/09/2018 09:30

People loosely connected socially or via family meet and fall in love. Stop the press quickly!

LoveAScaryTaleMe · 08/09/2018 09:31

Not quite the same situation, but unusual I believe-my friends parents split up and each married one of their neighbours who had also split up. So my mate's stepdad used to be married to her stepmother.

Original poster
CoughLaughFart · 08/09/2018 09:47

It would be vile but for posters in the majority telling you to wind your neck in.

Interesting use of the word ‘majority’.

OP posts:
Original poster
CoughLaughFart · 08/09/2018 09:49

Gosh, you're a bit aggressive.

You really don’t see any irony in that comment, do you?

OP posts:
Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 08/09/2018 10:10

No, because they aren't related and didn't grow up together. It's a little unusual but it's not massively weird and not cause for concern.

TerfsUp · 08/09/2018 10:17

No. I wouldn't find it weird. I find asking other people's opinions about this weird.

lovetherisingsun · 08/09/2018 10:35

You really don’t see any irony in that comment, do you?

So saying that by your responses you don't sound very nice and that you're getting very snippy with people just giving the opinions you've asked for "aggressive"? Hmm Do you just want everyone to agree with you? Is that what you were looking for when you posted?

redexpat · 08/09/2018 10:52

I feel a bit sorry for the genealogist who has to draw that family tree!

happypoobum · 08/09/2018 10:55

No, not remotely weird.

Why do you think it's weird Confused

Original poster
CoughLaughFart · 08/09/2018 12:40

Do you just want everyone to agree with you? Is that what you were looking for when you posted?

There have been a variety of comments taking different views. I have, as already stated, only responded directly to those who have been unnecessarily critical of the fact that I even raised the topic.

OP posts:
Original poster
CoughLaughFart · 08/09/2018 12:41

Why do you think it's weird Confused

I’ve already stated why more than once so I’m not sure what you’re Confused about.

OP posts:
lovetherisingsun · 08/09/2018 14:11

I think you're a few sandwiches short of a picnic....

liverbird10 · 08/09/2018 14:49

If you think that's weird, try DH's family.

His dad is now married to his mum's sister. Who was married to his brother briefly about 35 years ago or so.

Alwayswrongalways · 08/09/2018 15:39

My cousin is married to her step brother. They have 2 DC and are extremely happy

notdaddycool · 08/09/2018 15:43

The only wierd thing will be the table plan and who to keep away from their ex partners.

Strugglingtodomybest · 08/09/2018 16:59

I don't think it's weird, no.

Original poster
CoughLaughFart · 08/09/2018 17:49

I think you're a few sandwiches short of a picnic....

Says the woman stalking my posts? Buy a mirror and take a look at yourself.

OP posts:
ParklifePoser · 08/09/2018 18:09

My grandparents are cousins by marriage - as in my granny's uncle married my grandma's aunt. So no weirder than that!

Similar to my family. It's a nightmare to explain.

I wouldn't think much of it. They've never been even close to being siblings. It's not really much different from meeting someone because they are your siblings friend for instance.