To think public proposals are an awful thing to do?

[abacucat]

Unless you 100% know that the person really does want to marry you. Otherwise it is very unfair as it makes it very difficult for the other person to say no.

I agree. Do people really do it apart from on tv or in films?

YANBU. Horrible controlling behaviour.

Agree OP. I would absolutely hate it even if I did want to marry the proposer. In fact it would actually put me off.

Yeah it is totally for the proposer / insta-likes.

Very, very right. If mine had done this it would have been curtains.

Agreed OP very controlling and verging on emotional blackmail.

I don't like them either, but perhaps there are people out there who would love it and have told their beloved that it is absolutely what they must do!

Yep, especially when the man takes it upon himself to hijack some other important moment in the woman's life and makes it all about him. Like when she's just been presented with her olympic medal for example...

Yuck

I totally agree. If someone did it to me I wouldn’t accept, as they clearly wouldn’t know me (I hate being the centre of attention). So that’d be curtains for the relationship, and I’d never contact them again.

My friends son proposed to his GF on stage on a cruise holiday and then posted the video on Facebook.
Cringe central.
It was a beautiful wedding though.

I think in theory they seem romantic and exciting and I'm sure some people would love that, so it might be right for them. As a blanket, thing? Nope, not for me.

I was going to post about that Olympic one, too. I really hoped she dumped him on the spot.
I also remember an excruciating one I saw on the telly about 25 years ago. It was on one of those late-night pisshead shows full of bands and shouty presenters: a girl proposed to her male partner and it was screamingly obvious he really didn't want to marry her. He eventually said, 'Mm, OK' but I bet they rowed all the way home and he dumped her the next day.

It’s awful.
My ex had our two children bring me the ring, and this was after I found out he was cheating on me so he knew I’d have likely thrown it in his bastard face . So it was either say yes (and ask him what he thinks he’s doing afterwards) or give my kids a horrific memory. I said yes, and had to stay with him for too long.

So it was either say yes (and ask him what he thinks he’s doing afterwards) or give my kids a horrific memory. I said yes, and had to stay with him for too long.

Ha, you've just reminded me of being 18 and being proposed to in the middle of a Wetherspoons by an ex I was trying to get in bed for old times' sake. It was packed and in front of all our friends and half the bloody city! I said yes, and through gritted teeth muttered "we're talking about this when we get home!!" as everyone cheered.

God that was awful.

100% cringefest - anyone doing it should be arrested immediately for gross indecency

Check out the poor woman's face in this one:

My EH did that to me. in front of all his family. I had been considering dumping him, we had only been together 6 months.

I felt pressured to say yes and ended up wasting 7 years of my life.

YANBU. They are dreadful. Cringe inducing, attention-seeking. It’s supposed to be an intimate moment, not a public spectacle.

I saw one on tv a few years ago during a sporting event. The presenters were in on the surprise and did a big build-up for the audience. The girlfriend eventually appeared, looked horrified when her boyfriend got down on one knee and made his declaration, said a resounding “No!” and walked off. Everyone went very quiet. It was embarrassing to watch.

DH proposed to me very publicly, not long after we got together. He wasn't (and isn't) controlling at all, just spontaneous and was a bit tipsy. It wasn't something we had discussed him doing and was astonished, but I was overwhelmed with the emotion of the situation and agreed. It sounds corny but it was as though the world stopped and everyone else disappeared in the moment. We are still together 20 years later. It's strange that I am hugely introverted and he is quite shy when outside his comfort zone, so it's amazing that it happened at all.

Yes absolutely. Unless you have discussed it in private and had micro-yesses so it's 100% what you want, don't do it.

My ex proposed to me in the middle of Gatecrasher one night years ago. I front of THE WHOLE CLUB of 1000 people. I said yes and was so happy. About 3 days later he apologised and said he got carried away!!

We split up not long after. I was absolutely humiliated and devastated at the time. Very glad now, he was a job head.

*nob head!

DH proposed 'publically' - at Disney, because he knew how much I love it there, and it was perfect. I kind of knew he was going to propose, though not when, and we'd been talking about rings and marriage for a while - we'd been together 5 years. Didn't find it controlling, though I can see why it sometimes is, reading some of the examples above.

My husband just said (of the ring we’d ordered online together) the day it showed up in the post “do I have to wait till your birthday to give it to you?”

At that point any hope of it being romantic died lol.

So I can sort of see the appeal of a big romantic gesture but yeah not if it’s not something you’ve discussed and you know the answer is a yes anyway.

I think they are terrible. I can't believe they do it unless they are sure of a yes, so in that case, it's just showing off. Unfortunately, some women want this enormous show off gesture. Cringworthy

My hubby proposed to me in front of all our family & friends at my surprise 30th birthday party. I hate being center of attention and he hates it too but I felt it was a perfect way to propose😁 we had been together 9years thou & got married 11years to the day we met x