To hope that Teacher to Teacher bullying will be wiped out?

[Seashellsonthebeach]

I've changed my name as don't want it associated with my other username and posting here for traffic.

I just need to get this off my chest...Three years ago I was on my PGCE course and my school placement mentor was a serious bully! I was pushed to the limit with his bullying ways, his nasty comments, mocking of my accent-Scottish, my 'boring' clothes, my handwriting not being good enough, his constant undermining of my lessons & planning when I asked how to improve he would just say you should know by now...emails at all times of the day/night...his constant presence in my lessons everyday I was rarely alone with my class he's always there and even turned up at my rented flat I hid upstairs until he went after 45mins of knocking and waiting in his car outside...other PGCE students told me it was like watching someone being controlled in a relationship and they didn't know what to do.

Other Teachers in the dept would watch me teach and grade me good to outstanding...he would watch me or not watch me and look up from his marking and tell me I was inadequate or RI in front of the class. On the last day I drove out of the school car park in a daze and wondering what the hell had just happened for the last 5 months...he broke me!

I complained to the University and begged to be moved but they wouldn't do anything...it boiled down to money and how it would look bad if I was moved to another School. Other Mentors were disgusted with his behaviour but it just carried on...I began to have suicidal thoughts! My husband was in despair as he just didn't know what to do...I stuck it out as he had made so many sacrifices for me to follow my dream of being a Teacher.

My NQT year was horrific I had the same type of Mentor but a female version that had just broken up with her partner...I was just happily married at the time we decided a fresh start in a new city...I never ever spoke about my personal life apart from once when she asked me what my husband was like.

She once answered my mobile (left it in mini staffroom on my desk whilst I was teaching) from my husband and asked him if we'd like to come for dinner as she likes to get to know everyone in the dept...she hadn't mentioned it to me all day...when I got home...my husband said your boss sounds nice I'm definitely up for dinner. When I mentioned it the next day she point blank said she never spoke to him  when I told him to stop being silly that's when my alarm bells rang...I looked at my calls list and it was 1 min 52sec call I hadn't spoke to him as I was teaching when he rang.

For two terms bizarre things were happening, rumours randomly started of me being pregnant, being graded inadequate towards the end of NQT year, being told verbally there was a meeting and getting there to find there wasn't one then not being informed when there was!! Again I was broken...I passed as I took everything to the Deputy Head who became my mentor and luckily was aware of what was going on...the dept became very unpleasant as everyone didn't know what to believe/trust.

I have took a year out and with counselling (the things I have described are only a small part of what's happened) I finally feel I am ready to go back to work but not in a school. This past year I've spoken to other Teachers/PGCE/NQTs that have had similar experiences...I really do hope the culture of Teacher to Teacher bullying is stamped out...the sooner the better!

This is an odd choice of forum to post this. Perhaps The Staffroom would be better or Tes Community. You'd get some good advice there.

@ourkidmolly I have posted it in the staff room...I was posting here for traffic. I have quite a few friends that for the last few nights have been very stressed/in tears at the thought of returning to their school...I don't know what to say apart from leave which isn't very helpful was hoping some posters might help. Share their experiences to show them things can work out when you're stuck where you are.

MY Dsis had to go to the GP about workplace bullying and hetold her that he saw so many patients because of it and the 2 worst types of organisations where it was most prevalent were police force and schools

Sorry to hear about your experiences. I have worked in 4 departments and everyone has only ever been supportive. (Apart from bullying from the head and parents!)

Hopefully you have had more than your fair share of the bullies. If you enjoy the job, go back try again.

What stage are you teaching btw?

I also had similar during my pgce, I ended up leaving in the end. The school mentor said I couldn't leave but luckily the university said that was my decision and theirs not the schools. I was so glad to leave and 6 years down the line I am still so glad I did. It was like they had never moved on from education and were still school bullies. Even though over 50 so absolutely no excuse. Some of the staff were lovely, however sadly they had no part in the mentor part. I got the impression it was a power thing for the bullying ones. They had a go about me having a MSc even though you would have thought they valued further education but no! anyway I hope you have found somewhere else to work that values you. :)

I agree it needs to stamped out in schools and they need to take a long hard look at the bullying culture in the nhs.

These all used to nice jobs, that people wanted. Now a huge percentage of them are just utterly miserable

It's not just a teacher to teacher thing though. It's just that some people are complete shits in any situation.

Not trying to minimise it by the way - just think you might get more support and helpful advice if you focus less on the teaching aspect and more on the bullying.

I was so glad when I finished one contract as the deputy head was a bully. Nothing I did or said was right. Normally, I’m upset to leave a contract but I literally ran out of the door at 3pm. She was constantly in my classroom, she would leave post it notes everywhere and she would just randomly come in and look around for ages. It doesn’t sound bad but it was the constant nit picking all the time which no other teacher got. I could literally do or say nothing right. Power goes to their head, it’s madness.

I'm afraid my advice would be to leave as well. I was fine until I move schools after 13 years of teaching and ended up in a bullying cesspit for ten years. I applied to leave on several occasions but the HT actively blocked me.
I love the job I secured afterwards and am thankful to have got out of teaching.

Thank you all for your replies...one of my friends husbands is a Policeman and he said it's at epic levels amongst the PCs and can't get his head round it he's a DS and lucky enough to be in a supportive team but would have quit if he cane into the force now! The ones who get the most bullying are voluntary police and ones who have entered at university level courses...

I was teaching Secondary...I've been off this last academic year getting myself back to some normality and now looking into private tutoring.

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 The NHS is just horrific especially the admin side from what I hear...two friends gave recently left because of the most disgusting behaviour I've ever heard...I wouldn't work for the NHS if you paid me a billion pounds!!

@Nikephorus very true it's epidemic in a lot of professions, I would just love to know why and how if anything can be really done to put a real stop to it.

@student26 I know exactly where you are coming from...it's just soul destroying.

@ilovesooty the head blocked you? Complete power trip madness...just shocking.

Yes I have experienced this as an experienced teacher when a new Head of Department joined the school. I loved my job, was a popular teacher and had a good reputation. I was frozen out of the entire department. In the end I left which was rather painful. She made sure I had no send off and no recognition from parents, children or the department after 10 years teaching there. It still really upsets me now. Fortunately I have another job in a lovely, supportive school.

@goldenlilliesdaffodillies just awful and I'm sorry that happened to you, I had the same in my NQT year and so did the previous member of staff I'd replaced (I didn't know this until I got talking to people in other departments just before I left)...I'm glad you found somewhere else lovely to go.

@goldenlilliesdaffodillies frozen out that is and other members of my dept were told by my HOD not to speak to me.

As a mentor, a girl was sent to me as she was being bullied by her pgce mentor at another school. When she arrived, she was so beaten down she could barely lift her head. She was graded outstanding by me and we are firm friends eight years later. I have been on the other side of this as well and been a victim of bullying. I am having a baby at Xmas and intend to leave teaching then. It is a horrible job these days.

I would just love to know why and how if anything can be really done to put a real stop to it.
It's because more and more people are becoming selfish, self-centred assholes. They only care about themselves and therefore then progress to exerting their control over other people because they see themselves as better and think it's their right to control you too. The only way to stop it is to make a huge effort yourself to do the right thing at all times and encourage others to do the same. But I don't fancy your chances. Failing that I'm thinking a remote Scottish island....

Good on you@Liverbird77 it makes me think there are still great Mentors out there who will support and get people back on track. I'm sure you already know but being that grounded down and beaten it really is life saving when someone sees something good in you and helps you turn things around.

It really is and unless I'm 100% sure of a school I will never return to teaching and I don't blame you for not wanting to go back! I can honestly say it broke me not the actual teaching but the people! As someone said earlier a real cesspit it has become.

@Nikephorus Yes completely agree that people doing the right thing is a big part to it...ooh a remote Scottish highland would be amazing!!

I had a similar experience in my NQT year. The Head literally shouted in my face on day one for asking for some paper. When I shared my concerns with my mentor and the deputy I was told not to cry as that just makes them worse... It still effects me 6 years later and I never really got back to grips with teaching. For some their treatment was water off a ducks back and they were quickly promoted. Others left in droves, their turn over is shocking.

Did you contact your union OP? More should have been done at the time.

I've recently moved into teaching from previous job in public sector and I am amazed and horrified by the way schoools are managed and the lack of accountability of senior staff in their role as managers. I am at a great school, in a lovely department and I know I am lucky - but you should not have to be lucky!

I've worked in a number of schools and seen some amazing Heads and some bullying arses. 2 have been awful; one was in my first school and a trusted older colleague advised me to get out whilst I was young and cheap enough to get another post. I'm still friends with her 20 years on. The second was in my current school but he has moved on.

There are some great places to work, but there are some that are awful. I've been bullied by a member of support staff when I was helping a school out as their only subject specialist was suspended (false allegations) and they had exam students who needed help. I complained about her but she was mates with the deputy to whom I complained. I went to the Head and she was eventually forced out but I was long gone by then. The school claimed to have no idea when I gave them my reason for resigning but I was already working elsewhere and upped my hours there.

The NQT year is so hard. Yet once it is behind you, the world is your oyster. As a fairly inexperienced teacher, you are cheap to employ, so you can be more picky about where you work. There are good places - maybe you have been unlucky.

Can I just thank you all for sharing your experiences? My poor sister is being driven out of a teaching job by horrendous bullying and I’m so devastated for her. I’ve started worrying it’s her fault as she seems to be a target for these things but maybe it’s more rife than I thought. My poor sister is absolutely broken and a nervous wreck. I support and sympathise with you all.

I can vouch for the NHS and the horrendous bullying that happens.
I work in an extremely sensitive clinical area as part of a small and close knit team who are amazing. We have another, office based department linked to us as our work ties in with each other.

I worked in the office briefly then flat out refused to do it anymore. They were all out to belittle and upstage each other. Backstabbing was rife and the management were worse than the staff, discussing private conversations during meetings etc. Not good, especially given the service users we worked with.