To hope that Teacher to Teacher bullying will be wiped out?

[Seashellsonthebeach]

I've changed my name as don't want it associated with my other username and posting here for traffic.

I just need to get this off my chest...Three years ago I was on my PGCE course and my school placement mentor was a serious bully! I was pushed to the limit with his bullying ways, his nasty comments, mocking of my accent-Scottish, my 'boring' clothes, my handwriting not being good enough, his constant undermining of my lessons & planning when I asked how to improve he would just say you should know by now...emails at all times of the day/night...his constant presence in my lessons everyday I was rarely alone with my class he's always there and even turned up at my rented flat I hid upstairs until he went after 45mins of knocking and waiting in his car outside...other PGCE students told me it was like watching someone being controlled in a relationship and they didn't know what to do.

Other Teachers in the dept would watch me teach and grade me good to outstanding...he would watch me or not watch me and look up from his marking and tell me I was inadequate or RI in front of the class. On the last day I drove out of the school car park in a daze and wondering what the hell had just happened for the last 5 months...he broke me!

I complained to the University and begged to be moved but they wouldn't do anything...it boiled down to money and how it would look bad if I was moved to another School. Other Mentors were disgusted with his behaviour but it just carried on...I began to have suicidal thoughts! My husband was in despair as he just didn't know what to do...I stuck it out as he had made so many sacrifices for me to follow my dream of being a Teacher.

My NQT year was horrific I had the same type of Mentor but a female version that had just broken up with her partner...I was just happily married at the time we decided a fresh start in a new city...I never ever spoke about my personal life apart from once when she asked me what my husband was like.

She once answered my mobile (left it in mini staffroom on my desk whilst I was teaching) from my husband and asked him if we'd like to come for dinner as she likes to get to know everyone in the dept...she hadn't mentioned it to me all day...when I got home...my husband said your boss sounds nice I'm definitely up for dinner. When I mentioned it the next day she point blank said she never spoke to him  when I told him to stop being silly that's when my alarm bells rang...I looked at my calls list and it was 1 min 52sec call I hadn't spoke to him as I was teaching when he rang.

For two terms bizarre things were happening, rumours randomly started of me being pregnant, being graded inadequate towards the end of NQT year, being told verbally there was a meeting and getting there to find there wasn't one then not being informed when there was!! Again I was broken...I passed as I took everything to the Deputy Head who became my mentor and luckily was aware of what was going on...the dept became very unpleasant as everyone didn't know what to believe/trust.

I have took a year out and with counselling (the things I have described are only a small part of what's happened) I finally feel I am ready to go back to work but not in a school. This past year I've spoken to other Teachers/PGCE/NQTs that have had similar experiences...I really do hope the culture of Teacher to Teacher bullying is stamped out...the sooner the better!

I’ve experienced this - I had worked at one school for a long time, was well-liked and considered a good, capable teacher in more than one job. Moved schools and was given the worst classes and scrutinised to within an inch of my life, offered “support” and basically nitpicked and pushed so much I broke down and had six months off. Never ever wanted to teach again, but luckily got a job teaching but not in a school. Amazingly I’ve gone back to being well-liked and regarded as a good teacher...funny how out of four places only one had me pegged as a failing teacher, isn’t it? And from what I hear, they still have lots of people off on long-term sick. Hmm.

@Mistressiggi yes I did they were absolutely useless I was a student member so I basically didn't matter...I went back to then time and time again...the university had just done a very profitable 'golden handshake' with the school so he wasn't bothered.

With my NQT year there was no rep and again I was a student so they weren't bothered! I found out last year my Mentor was promoted to Asst Head...he's now free to reign terror on more PGCEs/Staff.

My NQT mentor had left apparently to go to another School...I've heard two members of staff out of 3 went off sick within the first half term in her dept then left at Christmas. She's still at that school now and the dept has had a high staff turnover just like mine did! I don't why these types of people constantly get promoted

You have been very unlucky. I don't understand why a union wouldn't be interested you as either a student or an NQT - if you were pleased with their response they'd have a member for life.

I can relate to this OP and can vouch for how awful teaching can be. In one school I worked at, I was, initially, the golden girl in my role - outstanding by ofsted and dfe etc. However, two managers from hell were appointed and bullied me horrendously. I was on the leadership team too!! I was sent emails at 1 in the morning asking for data by 6, was openly criticised, had my paperwork pulled to pieces, was constantly undermined, made to feel bad for going home to put my daughter to bed - one of their meetings went on until 10pm!!!! They've both been sacked now. I resigned and took time out. I had horrendous anxiety and received counselling. My husband's school are the same. New 'power head' appointed. He restructured and hubby lost his tlr and half the staff managed out. The workload he's expected to do is a disgrace and adds no value to the children.

@ScottishDiblet your poor sister and I'm so sorry this is happening to her...if she can she needs to get out and find another School it's just not worth it. I really do recommend counselling it's helped me massively to see it's not me it's them that has the problem and are on a power trip!
It's definitely not your sister these types will spot the tiniest thing you're insecure about and pick from there and continue to pick. My weakness was second guessing myself once in a while when it was something major like a formal observation...I would go over things but then be asked am I sure? Then the same question again by my Mentor...I would be up till the wee hours checking and checking everything then realising there was nothing to worry about but by him and her planting that little seed of doubt it spiralled!

@Mistressiggi I got the impression because I wasn't paying a monthly fee (free whilst a PGCE and NQT then £1 for the year after that then full subs) they just didn't care

How did your head block you sooty?

@callitamay I'm not surprised @ilovesooty was blocked...if a head wants to do something they can...it probably will have been done via subtle shit reference or talking to other heads in the area to put a block on her going somewhere else and before you say I'm paranoid this happened to my friend in Bristol they had to completely move out of the area-up North for her to get a job and explain to her current head that her previous head would not give her a decent reference luckily she had evidence based progress they couldn't deny and the head was 'normal' and gave her a chance.

She's now very happy in her current school and

Oops press send too soon
...can't believe that her head got away with everything they did.

OP, i’m Afraid this is more common than people think. Hubby did teacher training and the teachers at this supposedly outstanding school tried to make him shit. He left. But I was astounded at the childishness and nastiness. Just get out.

Heads do what they want. Hubby’s Head told him in his first day that she “owned” him.

Oops “to make him EAT shit.”

Good luck OP. Keep strong.

@callitamay I'm pretty certain he gave negative references over the phone and I know I wasn't the only member of staff to be treated like that. He hated people applying elsewhere because he knew they'd talk and he was paranoid about that. On one occasion I know my references were requested the day after they received my application. I wasn't shortlisted and the school readvertised a few weeks later.
After I left my union requested a generic factual reference confirming my dates of employment and he refused to provide that. When I phoned the LA to discuss it I heard someone at the other end saying "Is X being awkward with his staff again?"

DW is a teacher. She has had some horrendous bosses - in other professions they'd be sacked imo. Union protection isn't always a good thing.

@Bitlost  luckily I am out...I had a breakdown last year and had some awful thoughts...through counselling and taking time to heal I am finally wanting to get back to work but not teaching in a school.

@ilovesooty none of this surprises me!

@DrDreReturns I do have some faith in thinking in other professions they would be sacked in my husbands work he has to deal with someone who tried to start a bitchy divide and conquer atmosphere husband and HR Manager were having none of it! That person didn't last very long.

Oh OP I can sympathise - I've been there too. I did a PGCE years ago and after getting off to great start in my first placement, I had a mentor hell bent on making my life a misery for my final placement. I could do nothing right. It totally put me off teaching and after passing the PGCE I never went on to do my NQT year - even now, 8 years later, I couldn't face going back in front of a class.

My mentor was from the uni, so my school didn't do any formal observation (although they would informally feedback to me). Every time my mentor came in, she'd pull my lessons to pieces - but in a way neither me, the teacher whose class I was teaching or the head could understand. Once she made me cry in the classroom, while the kids were there, luckily the actual class teacher witnessed the whole thing and swooped in to distract the class. I also vividly remember a PE lesson I taught, as I thought the technical aspects of my lesson were strong (teaching netball, which I play regularly), but my behaviour management could have been better. Her feedback was entirely the opposite - said my technique was poor but how that my BM ok. It was like I was living in a parallel universe, teachings version of gaslighting. By this point my class teacher had complained to the head about her, so he decided to come and observe as well - the head and class teacher completely backed me up and were hugely supportive. In the end, the head made a complaint to the university about her once I'd finished and last I heard they weren't taking any more students if she would be mentoring them.

Glad you got the help you needed. I wish I'd sought help too, it took me a long time to regain my confidence. Such a shame a few bad apples can really ruin someone's experience. Makes me doubly cross as I can't stand the thought of a child being bullied and as a teacher you make a huge effort to prevent/deal with bullying, yet there are people out there teaching, who knowingly make others working lives miserable. If there was ever a profession you'd expect people to be more mindful of their actions and bullying it would be teaching!

@Strawbe just awful really awful...very similar to you that I had a great 1st placement and Primary placement but 2nd was just horrendous and like I say before it destroyed me...it really is a shame that a few rotten to the core apples spoil it.

I really do hope you're ok...it's never too late to speak to someone professionally it's really helped as didn't do it straight away but wish I had.

I remember being on one placement and the mentor there would pick my lessons to pieces and would have me change single WORDS on my plans. She expected me to have full lesson plans written and evaluated for children finishing a piece of art work that they had started and almost finished the previous day and only needed another ten minutes on, after finishing the work I’d set them that day. I would stress and have panic attacks the night before and would regularly be in tears. Again, I just couldn’t do anything right. I can’t actually believe this is making me feel shaky typing this! I’m in a nice school now and the staff are all wonderful. Pity it’s only a temporary contract but permanent jobs here are very rare.

@student26 just awful the more I'm hearing these stories on here and from friends who have been through or know someone that this type of bullying has happened to makes me think this bullying is all over and in so many professions.

I'm really glad you've found a job that makes you happy and got your confidence back like you say such a shame it's temporary I hope things look up and they make it permanent finding somewhere good with nice staff is just so rare these days.