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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cancer stages

45 replies

NorrisButter · 05/09/2018 21:44

Just heard that a work mate has cancer. Now I know what I’m gonna sounds bad, but this person has history of exaggeration.
They are saying that this particular cancer only has 2 stages, not the usual 4. Could this be true?

OP posts:
purpleunicorns · 05/09/2018 21:46

As far as I'm aware it's goes up to stage 4 as that's when it's spread to the other organs. The Macmillan website should have plenty of information about it

Andro · 05/09/2018 21:46

Small cell lung cancer is often categorised as limited stage and extensive stage, as opposed to 1-4 staging.

MVLipwig · 05/09/2018 21:47

What type of cancer are they saying they have?

winterisstillcoming · 05/09/2018 21:50

I think some cancers eg blood cancers cannot
be staged ie There is no severity scale Also there can be confusion between stages and grades.

Tofffeee · 05/09/2018 21:51
  1. Yes, that does sound bad.
  2. What does it matter? 3)Google it if it matters that much: www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/what-is-cancer/stages-of-cancer#number
AnalUnicorn · 05/09/2018 21:57

@Tofffeee. I guess it matters because I wouldn’t want to expend emotional energy and support on someone who had made up or exaggerated an illness, presumably for attention.

iVampire · 05/09/2018 22:11

Blood cancers aren’t staged, because there is no primary tumour so there are other terms for describing its progression.

GhostPerfume · 05/09/2018 22:12

Could be

Asterado · 05/09/2018 22:13

It’s possible. What kind of cancer is it?

Original poster
NorrisButter · 05/09/2018 22:23

It’s not blood cancer.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 05/09/2018 22:23

Are you the OP unicorn? Why do you think this colleague of yours is making it up? Confused

RosiesYellowDress · 05/09/2018 22:31

You just heard? So the person didn’t tell you directly.

Sounds like where my mum works ‘gossips’ feel it’s their right to know everything. Except my mum told and only wanted few Close trust people to know. The gossip vultures where out in force at one point they speculated she was a goner so came to ogle at her.

I would say unless you planning on supporting giving your time to said person, then it really matters Not

ThirdChildFourthPile · 05/09/2018 22:31

To be honest if I knew someone who had a history of making up lies or exaggerating illness's, I too would want to be sure they weren't doing it again when it came to cancer.
I've lost a friend to cancer, and it's absolutely fucking hell on earth to watch someone deteriorate like that. It would take a true cunt to make that kind of stuff up and I sure as hell would want to know if I was being sucked in.

OP, I don't know all the cancers. But logic tells me that any cancer left to the own devices will kill a person. I've never heard of a non-deadly cancer. Therefore would always be a stage 4.
So just two stages sounds iffy.

youarenotkiddingme · 05/09/2018 22:36

My mum has cancer of unknown primary. That's not staged at all.

Jets was discovered after it had spread up past diaphragm via lymph nodes and she had a lump in her neck.

Her cancer is incurable and has very poor prognosis. She's defied statistics.

If you saw her you wouldn't think she's 22 months down the line from a diagnosis that carries a mean survival rate from diagnosis of 4 months.
But someone has to be the 0.2% stat that she is.

But it's cancer - it's bad.

Asterado · 05/09/2018 22:37

It’s impossible to say without knowing what kind of cancer it is and which system of staging was used when explaining to the patient. For instance, the 2 stages could be explained by a discussion around metastasis, i.e 0 - no spread 1 - metastasis.

Cancer isn’t straight forward.

Does assuming someone is lying about cancer bad? Yes. It’s a bit of a dick move.

wtftodo · 05/09/2018 22:37

A relative had a type of cancer that starts at stage 3, ending stage 4, it’s always terminal.

Tofffeee · 05/09/2018 22:40

Well if they were going to make it up, then I'm guessing they would have done some research into it first, and wouldn't be saying it only has two stages if it's not true or possible? Maybe they're still getting their head around it, and geniuenly think it only has two stages (even if it doesn't). Or maybe the person who told you about it misheard.

Motherhood101Fail · 05/09/2018 22:44

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Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Original poster
NorrisButter · 05/09/2018 22:49

Just to be clear, I have no doubt that this person does indeed have cancer, but just that they may have exaggerated the prognosis a bit. Like, from an itchy mole to death around the corner type of thing!

OP posts:
maggiecate · 05/09/2018 22:51

They may be talking about process by which the development of the cancer is determined, which is split into two; clinical staging, where the information on the tumour is obtained before surgery (eg scans, biopsies etc) and pathological staging, where the tumour is removed and examined microscopically. Some tumours aren't treated surgically so you don't get pathological staging. It's also possible they've misunderstood what they've been told, or that they have one of the forms of cancer that don't use the 4-stage system.

Asterado · 05/09/2018 22:52

Just to be clear, I have no doubt that this person does indeed have cancer, but just that they may have exaggerated the prognosis a bit. Like, from an itchy mole to death around the corner type of thing!

Itchy mole?

Ugh... actually can’t....

Biscuit
Namechange8471 · 05/09/2018 22:56

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Tofffeee · 05/09/2018 23:05

But they haven't actually talked to you about it have they? Someone else told you about it? I just don't get how the way that they are coping with a cancer diagnosis affects you personally.

Everyone will react to a diagnosis of cancer in their own way. And it's very scary and confusing, especially if they are waiting to have further tests etc and then find out actual diagnosis and treatment plan, some people will jump to the worse case scenario.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 05/09/2018 23:06

Bob Marley had a dark spot under his toenail he thought it was a football injury. Unfortunately it was acral melanoma and it killed him. So sod off with your itchy mole.

TrueLoveWays · 05/09/2018 23:10

Itchy mole?
Cancer is fucking horrible and painful and shit - stick your fucking itchy mole and have some empathy