Lazy? DH getting me down

[2Cats1Tot]

He works 5 days a week, I work 3. DD is in Yr 1 at school.

There are so many jobs that need doing around the house/garden but the minute he gets home (sometimes early afternoon), he just sits in front of the TV. Wants to 'relax' at weekends too! He does cook most nights (he enjoys it). Our toilet flush has been broken for nearly 3 years (still flushes but via a wire, not button), the felt on the shed gave up and blew off last year leaving a gap which lets rain in, the gutters need cleaning out as actual stuff growing in them and drain pipe blocked. I see our neighbours DH busy maintaining stuff like this and it really frustrates me. This is stuff he can do and I can't. I have tried asking if he could fix whatever it is and it's always 'it doesn't need doing right now does it!'. I have tried shaming him into doing it 'our neighbours haven't got a nice view out their conservatory of our messy shed roof have they..'. nothing seem to work. My Dad was always busy doing jobs around the house to fix or improve things. DH grew up in a housing association property so all that stuff has always been done for them. Could this be where it stems from? How can I get him off his ar5e, or AIBU???

why posters are telling you to crack on with some DIY as some kind of feminist statement shows their own gullibility (yes, I'm so feminist I do everything!)

Not at all, DH pulls his weight at home. He does the vast majority of the cooking, we share things like washing etc. I think the point is that yes, of course he should be pulling his weight in the home. There is no reason why the OP can’t do some of the DIY though. I don’t expect DH to have an innate knowledge of how to do DIY jobs, just as I don’t.

But this being MN rather than the real world, every one will tell you you should be doing it

Lol I have only just started reading this thread but those were my exact thoughts as soon as I read the op

I stand by what I said. The posters are suggesting she takes on that as well! I didn't see anyone say tell him to do the washing.

As usual on MN, posters miss the point to get on their hobbyhorses. He's lazy, its not the DIY per se!

I used to get frustrated about this sort of thing too. I got fed up of waiting so now I do all the diy in our house (but I wouldn't go near clearing gutters as I'm not good with heights).
I'd just start learning - there's lot of tutorials for diy tasks of YouTube.
But yes your down time should be equal and you both need to have an equal share in the household drudgery.
Otherwise pay a handyman to do it - maybe that will give him the kick up the bum he needs?

I think expecting him to do all the DIY is unrealistic, and sexist. I do the majority of DIY in our house, and managed to re-felt the shed roof myself and I'm the most unfit person there is, it is a really easy job to do provided you can use a staple gun. OP you need to talk to your husband and share out your household chores in a more fair way, if he isn't DIY inclined then you need to do it yourself or pay someone else to and he can pick up the slack in other areas. It sounds like he isn't pulling his weight in any way at all and that is why you are annoyed, not many people have the luxury of relaxing all afternoon and evening.