AIBU to suggest that people should not do a pregnancy test until a few days after their period is due?

[FireBrick]

Name changed for this as I'm sure I'll get flamed!

So many times on the conception board you see the following:

OP tests at ~10dpo and gets a very faint line, and posts a picture for others to look at. Posters confirm they can see it too and congratulate the OP.

A day or two later the OP posts again that they'd done another test and it was fainter, or negative. They are confused and upset.

A couple of days after that they get their AF. They are naturally devastated and disappointed.

If instead they had waited to test, they would just have got their period at about the expected time, and would have only had the disappointment of not conceiving that month (which I am not downplaying!)

What is gained by testing early? If the pregnancy is successful you will have found out a few days earlier than you would otherwise (on a 40 week pregnancy!). If not successful, you open yourself up to heartbreak of a miscarriage and dashed hope that you could have avoided by waiting until you miss your period until you test.

I'm not criticising anyone, especially not people struggling with infertility who are desperate to be pregnant. But I think that testing early, or using an early response test, is likely to cause more unhappiness and negates the benefit of testing early.

Do others agree or AIBU?

Yet another thread that shows who suffers from infertility and who has the luxury of not.

I've seen a couple where people have had positives then negatives and bleeding and they're about four weeks - and people are telling them to go to epu. I always post on those ones to say don't bother epu as they can't see anything til 6 weeks so it's a waste of time and resources others could be using. At the end of the day in those circumstances it's just a slightly late period.

It is not 'just a slightly late period'. Have a bit of fucking sensitivity and try put yourself in the shoes of someone who thinks they're going to have a baby and instead has the rug pulled out from under them. Nature is cruel but people who dismiss it as 'just a late period', eyeroll implied, are far more so.

EPU will always advise that you attend if you have bleeding, no matter whether you are four weeks or fourteen weeks. Bleeding can be indicative of potentially serious complications including ectopic pregnancy. They can't stop a miscarriage once it has started but they can check that the miscarriage has been complete, that there are no complications such as infection or prolonged bleeding, and while they don't do investigations after one miscarriage they do still check to see that there are no immediately obvious problems.

@onetimeposter you’re welcome, thanks for understanding.

Some people are excited and just dont want to wait!
When you're going through it, every single day feels like a lifetime. I found out 4 days before my period was due. I now have a 21 week old. Go figure.

When trying to conceive I reverted to testing after 2weeks missed period, the tests were expensive anc if I didn’t get a positive and still no period I retested but I didn’t do that too often and Zi reconciled myself to 2 weeks late before testing. One reason was the cost and another was the potential for disappointment if the period came after a positive. Everyone is different and that’s what I decided to do, I found TTC hard, the best for me was when I managed to forget about TTC as it was eating me up, giving me heartache at the monthly failures. Different approaches will work for different people, I can imagine some people feel prepared and empowered by the plotting of days etc but I felt overwhelmed and so much disappointment. I don’t miss the emotions I felt at al.

I had this the other way round. Tested too early got negative, went and has a few drinks to commiserate, had some valium one night to help me sleep.. oops I was pregnant after all just tested too early.

Agree FRER is a double edged sword

I agree OP, I don't know what the advantage is of testing so early. It just seems to add confusion and in many cases, heartbreak.

Er, some of the reasons cited already?

As a diagnostic measure to identify chemical pregnancy (implantation that didn't progress) vs implantation failure

If you're taking progesterone for additional luteal support that will artificially prevent a period, and need to take a test to understand if you aren't pregnant and can therefore stop taking the meds

If you need to stop or start certain medications ASAP if you get pregnant

I think it is sensible for people when TTC to wait until period is due. Saves on the emotional roller coaster of trying to detect lines where none may be or are too faint to properly identify and in some cases a lot of money on lots of tests . As pp posters have said there are many reasons for testing early and therefore although you may question why ppl are testing so early, as we do not know each individual's situation it is best not to comment.
I am a prolific early tester and have spent hours and a small fortune on tests over the years. Every time I promise myself I won't 😐 I have had numerous chemicals and 7 miscarriages between 6 and 8 weeks. I also have 2 dc 😀 both DC conceived whilst waiting for the appt to see why MC occuring....it takes weeks to be seen here.
Where early testing can make it hard....I thought I'd waited till missed period to test. Had pains around 7 weeks. Dr referred to hosp. In case of ectopic. Scan showed just a 5 to 6 week pregnancy was told I'd likely miscarry as not developing if I was 7 weeks.
Turns out I had just tested early got a really dark line and got dates way out. Lot of upset waiting to miscarry till a scan a few weeks later.

I tried for 7 years and I do apologise if I got too exited to know if I was pregnant or not at the end of the month....

Your post reads like a stealth boast. “I’ve never had fertility issues so every one else should do the same as me.”

Actually that’s true - it’s very important to know if you are able to get pregnant or not, even if they result in a loss. Because that’s a different issue to deal with than not being able to conceive at all.