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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - free school meals application against my wishes.

428 replies

GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 14:20

Two years ago I became eligible to claim free school meals,
I do not need the assistance so declined the offer.
The local council sent me a silly amount of letters about being entitled to claim, I phoned them and asked them to stop, explained that I didn't need to claim and asked them to make a note on my 'file' not to contact me again.
However, within a few months it started again I ignored them until I received a letter that basically said 'you are entitled to claim this so we are going to put in a claim on your behalf'
This annoyed me and I sent them a letter telling them that I do not give them permission to ever make a claim for FSMs on my behalf, that I wanted it marked on my file that I never want a claim for FSMs to be made in my name.
Someone from the council called me and apologised he said he made a note on my file and I would not be contacted again.

My DC has just started secondary school and for the second day in a row, his student account was not charged for the meal he had.
I just called the school and they have told me that his account has not been charged because he is in receipt of FSM, I told her this is a mistake and she is going to look into it and call me back.

I'm currently on hold to the council.

I'm so angry, how dare they put in a claim without my knowledge or permission and against my explicit request not to.
AIBU to be so annoyed?

I'm just posting to vent really, to try to calm down before I speak to anyone, but I'm just so angry that they can go against my wishes and put in a claim for a benefit that I do not want.

OP posts:
allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 05/09/2018 18:14

Weird thread op. I'm sure if you started one saying "would I be unreasonable to claim FSM even though I get shit tons from EX and I don't actually need it" you would be ripped to shreds

What a bizarre thread. OP is entitled to a benefit, chooses not to claim it and is criticised for that ! I've seen everything now

People criticising her for not claiming FSM to enable the school to receive pupil premium would do well to remember that pupil premium is funded from our taxes, not the magic money tree

LemonysSnicket · 05/09/2018 18:15

Why would you want to pay if you're entitled to FSMs? You're being ridiculous and proud

ProfessorMoody · 05/09/2018 18:15

You're not entitled to FSM if you get any working tax credits at all. You're only entitled to them if you get child tax credits and don't earn over £16,100.

Branleuse · 05/09/2018 18:15

How about you apply for FSM but give your income support to charity instead

SillySallySingsSongs · 05/09/2018 18:16

I file tax returns every year and pay a large amount of tax. for the last two years I have been entitled to a small amount of Child tax credits

Something doesn't quite add up Hmm

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/09/2018 18:16

So why is op paying huge amounts of tax on £16k?
The whole thing’s a load of old twaddle.

Growingboys · 05/09/2018 18:16

Good for you OP.

ProfessorMoody · 05/09/2018 18:17

IfIwasabird - there's a stigma. There is. It's not snobbery, it's actual fact, as I've already explained. In some schools, FSM children are removed from class for support. They are also given different food on school trips. Other children notice and comment. Schools are measured on their FSM academic success. I don't think you're getting it.

UserX · 05/09/2018 18:18

I just double checked the entitlement when you mentioned paying loads of tax and only getting a small amount of tax credit (just in case I may be eligible too!) But the earning limit is £16,190.00 so now I'm really confused

OP is self employed. She can decide what salary to pay herself and any other money made sits in her business accounts and is taxed differently to income tax. So OPs declared income could be very low regardless of how much her business makes.

onetimeposter · 05/09/2018 18:20

Perhaps down to attitudes like yours if
Shes obviously worse than you Biscuit

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 05/09/2018 18:21

I don't think you're getting it.

Hmm no, I have no idea, up here in my ivory tower. You’re absolutely right.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 05/09/2018 18:22

Not following you one. Which attitude do I have? OP is worse than me at what?

Onedayy · 05/09/2018 18:23

Good point re school trips. Those on fsm get a paper bag with a small packed lunch in it. Everyone else takes their own.

NynaeveSedai · 05/09/2018 18:25

So if OP is doing clever accounting meaning she pays 'loads' of tax despite technically earning under £16k, and she doesn't want to claim a benefit she doesn't need, why does she claim child tax credit at all?

UnderHerEye · 05/09/2018 18:25

I can’t really understand why OP is ok claiming child tax credits but not ok with claiming pupil premium?

There is something rather odd about an income which is low enough to make you eligible for child tax credits but also gives you the means to be able to donate generously to the school - can you explain OP I’m very curious ?

As to the pp who says governors are nosy parents I would like to assure you that Governors are never given the details of specific children and would never been given access to the names on the pupil premium register.

bbcessex · 05/09/2018 18:29

Why is the OP getting such a hard time? 🙄🙄🙄

Child maintenance does not get taken into account when income support etc is calculated.

So the OP could have a minimum wage job for minimum hours, PLUS £1 million in maintenance - and yet she’d qualify for a whole host of benefits.

She’s saying ‘just because i’m eligible on paper, doesn’t mean I want or need them’.

Imagine the furore if the OP did claim FSM , whilst dropping her DC at the school in her Masserati ....

Original poster
GlitterSand · 05/09/2018 18:29

I'm not going to give you all a break down of my incomes and outgoings.
It has nothing to do with the point of the thread.
I shouldn't have even wasted my time explaining myself as it has nothing to do with the op and I should have known I would just be picked apart.

I was on hold to the council for over 90 minutes due to a 'high volume of calls' in the end I had to hang up as I had other things I needed to do.
I plan to call again tomorrow first thing and report the fraudulent claim.
I also plan to call the school and tell them that I am reporting the fraudulent claim and ask them to remove the FSM entitlement from Dc's file and to never give him a FSM lunch card.

Thank you to everyone who posted, even those who weren't particularly kind but especially thank you to those who took the time to try and see things from my point of view.

I'm going to bow out of this thread now as I don't think anything productive can be gained from continuing it.

OP posts:
chasinggarlic · 05/09/2018 18:30

OP is self employed. She can decide what salary to pay herself and any other money made sits in her business accounts and is taxed differently to income tax. So OPs declared income could be very low regardless of how much her business makes.

Oh. That's very interesting. Having been self employed for the past 12 years I never knew that.

So I can just tuck some of the profit away and pay myself a small amount in order to qualify for benefits Shock

ImAIdoot · 05/09/2018 18:31

There is something rather odd about an income which is low enough to make you eligible for child tax credits but also gives you the means to be able to donate generously to the school - can you explain OP I’m very curious ?

From what we've read it sounds like OP probably runs a business, doesn't get to pay herself a large salary, school has charity/charities associated with its spending.

onetimeposter · 05/09/2018 18:31

Under thats good to know
My ex governor colleague suggested otherwise. Thanks.
Yes one
Brown bags whether they need one or not they are nice though
If youre being so obtuse I cant be arsed replying

AngelsWithSilverWings · 05/09/2018 18:32

I don't think OP is being unreasonable in not wanting to claim for Pupil premium. It absolutely should be her decision.

My experience is that schools aren't great at at dealing with how they use the PP finding to help children. They often ( unintentionally I'm sure) patronise parents and make it very easy for other pupils and their parents to discover that who is in receipt if it.

My DC are eligible for PP because they are adopted. The pupil premium is there to specifically address the individual needs of adopted children. The schools just seem to assume that we are financially disadvantaged when the truth is that we are actually quite well off.

I've had letters home containing vouchers for holiday club/childcare - I'm a SAHM so I returned them and the office lady got quite short with me telling me I'd be silly not to take up the offer. And that I was denying my child the chance of an enrichment activity during the holiday. They kept sending these out and I kept returning them.

My DS who had always been top of his year group at primary school asked his teacher why he was being taken out of class for extra English tuition - her answer to him was that is because he is a pupil premium kid. This was said in front of the class. He had no need of this tuition - it was purely a box ticking exercise. He was top of the top set English and going off to do group work with the Senco ( probably at the expense of another child who actually needed it )

I've had emails telling me not to worry about paying for school trips. I always email back reminding them that I am able to pay for other trip.

I think it's worse at my son's school because being a grammar school it is very rare to get a child attending who receives PP. I've definitely sensed a patronising attitude towards me and my husband when we have attended meetings or parents evenings. It's not helped by the fact that my son has one of those names that gets called "chavvy" in the baby names topic!

I now insist that DH wears his smartest suit and I always dress up a bit and try to look expensive rather than go in my SAHM uniform of jeans and a t shirt! I know that's ridiculous but I have found we have been treated with more respect by the school staff since we've done that.

So I don't blame OP at all for not wanting her child to be on the PP register.

IfIWasABirdIdFlyIn2ACeilingFan · 05/09/2018 18:32

Sounds like a really extreme reaction OP. Theres probably a back story. We’re you on FSM as a child and bullied for it?

Pressuredrip · 05/09/2018 18:32

Pretty selfish not to deny the school your own child is at extra funding because you are a snob.

ShatnersBassoon · 05/09/2018 18:32

This is bollocks.

Nobody entitled to tax credits is paying large amounts of tax. It's nonsensical to accept one state benefit but shun another, especially when others could gain from it and you are so well known for your benevolence.

CrochetBelle · 05/09/2018 18:33

Oh OP where have you gone...?