To ask why some people behave like illness is a moral failing?

[Merryoldgoat]

I’ve seen it on a few threads lately but I’ve met people who think it too.

It’s like they either think the sheer luck not to get ill makes them superior in some way or that you’re some kind of massive piss-taker if you take any time off for a cold.

I mentioned on a thread ages ago that I’d had three sick days one year - 1 for a migraine and two for a heavy cold. People acted like I should be on absence management.

I KNOW there are some people who take the piss, but AIBU to think that generally, if you’re ill, it’s shitty luck and you need to do what you need to, to get better.

As an aside, wouldn’t you rather sick people stay home and not infect the rest of the workforce?

Gonewishing, ime it varies wildly from employer to employer. I have a chronic mh condition and I've lost three jobs because of it, all in the first year so I didn't bother doing any arguing. They'll bring up anything to justify it if they want you out and the exit meeting can be quite difficult - one place brought up a minor mistake I'd made during my first week there and tried to make out that my sacking was a performance issue. I spent years thinking this is just how it's going to be, that I'll get a job, get ill and then get the sack, because that was what always happened. Fortunately I now have a great employer that has a different sick policy for people with disabilities and conditions and when I had a relapse it wasn't an issue having time off as long as I kept them informed as to what was going on. This has led to the situation I'm now in where I'm so happy at work that my mh is the best it's ever been and in fact I haven't had any time off at all for the last 18 months. It sure was a struggle before finding this job though.

I'm quite lucky. Although the policy is that the absence procedure is triggered by 3 absences or 10 days sick leave in a 12 month period, our managers realise that we do a bloody stressful job that exposes us to more than the average amount of bugs etc. When you phone in sick, the first thing they say is that if you have admin etc that you can do from home, or clients you can give telephone support to, then work from home.

A couple of days in bed with the laptop, answering the odd email and making a few phone calls is usually enough to recover from anything short of full-blown flu or a really bad gastric bug, and consequently we have low levels of short-term absence. Otoh, we're mostly middle-aged or older on my team, so have had more than our share of longish absences for stuff like hysterectomies and joint surgery. They don't seem to be so fussed about that sort of absence.

what country is that kalink please tell!? it sounds lovely!

The problem is that so many workplaces now don't want free sick pay. I'm lucky, I get full pay if I'm sick, so if I need time off I take it. I will go in with a mild cold, because I am able to work therefore I should. If I'm floored by a bad cold I'll take the time off. D&V etc obviously ill take time off. I don't take the piss and neither do most people I work with. But if taking a few days off meant losing a few days pay, then I can see why people drag themselves in. Taking time off might mean not being able to pay the mortgage/rent/bills, or not being able to feed the kids. It's bad employers that should be blamed.

I'm on an absence management plan at the moment (teacher). This was because I had two absences in one term.

One was when I ended up in hospital with a kidney infection after trying to soldier through a UTI (Was
Admitted on a Thursday, was back at school on the Monday)

And then, a few weeks later I broke my wrist and had one day off because it was in a splint prior to having the full cast put on and couldn't really teach primary children with an unstable broken arm.

So...3 days off in total triggering formal proceedings.

Absolute madness.

Especially when others have had weeks off at a time, but not so close together and haven't 'triggered' any policy.

A bit of common sense wouldn't go amiss when it comes to sickness policies, really!

I think the idea of convalescence is often now seen as malingering.
Perhaps the introduction of antibiotics means that everyone is meant to just "snap to it" after some ill health, whereas the reality is the body needs time and rest to heal.

A few years ago I took a day off sick with a bad cold. The next day as I was walking to the GP surgery my boss texted me asking if I was going to be at work. It was 9.05am. Our sickness policy was that you had to call in sick by 9.30am, so she was jumping the gun by 25 minutes. I went into work after going for a chest X-ray. It turned out I had bronchitis and it lasted for three fucking months during which I took no more sick leave. I reckon if I’d taken a week off work to get over that cold, I would have been better in a week.

Some of these stories are insane - I thank god I work for a sensible employer. We get 1 week paid leave in the first two years and then 5 days get added each year after that to a maximum of 25.

Obviously they still monitor but I can’t remember what the trigger is but I suspect it’s considerably more than many mention here.

I think it’s terrible that some employers pay no sick pay other than SSP - of course people will drag themselves in if there’s a danger their pay will be reduced in that case.

I know it’s kept separate but I had a very difficult pregnancy and because of the adjustments put in place and understanding of my manager I didn’t miss a single day in spite of several conditions.

I work near the hospital and she allowed my assistant to drop and collect me from ante-natal appointments to avoid my having to try and park there (which is hell).

She’s been a real eye-opener in terms of managers and if I’m ever in her position I’ll treat my staff just as well.

@ShatteredTattered exactly! I had my gall bladder removed in emergency surgery and my doctor has specifically told me I am not fit to return to work but I work in education so I don't have a choice unless I want a formal disciplinary as it's past the nhs recommended two weeks recovery work refuse to understand

I think it is because doctors and stats say that keeping yourself unhealthy frequently leads to these illnesses. So if you eat beige food, binge drink, are sendentary, smoke, are overweight etc then the second you get ill you may be judged. Good health is also strongly associated to wealth unfortunately.

Having said that a friend of mine took the day off and went to their GP for a sore throat this week. They could talk fine and were miraculously cured within 24 hours so sometimes people do get suspicious.

While I'll go in with the sniffles, if I've got a full blown cold, hell yeah I'll be off sick. Fortunately I'm ill rarely (last time I was that bad was 3 years ago, and I was already off sick recovering from a hysterectomy). If I don't take the time off to rest and recover, I often get bronchitis.

It’s like when women are snooty about how much maternity leave others take. I’ve seen on MN and in rl women boasting about how little ml they took, ‘I took 3days off and was back pounding metal at work’, then question why on earth any woman would need 6 months off. Breastfeeding? “Yep, I didn’t that during toilet breaks in the staff kitchen.....”

Plutonium

Totally. This weird mindset that their experience is THE experience.

The number of women who said things like ‘a bit more exercise will probably help your hips’ whilst I was on crutches with SPD. Like they couldn’t fathom my pregnancy might be different from theirs and I was a weakling because of it.

A bad cold can be horrible. I'd rather people were sensible and said they've got a horrible cold than start talking about how they have flu.

But, some people are very much of the view that the sniffles is the end of the world. They are the same people who says they have a migraine when they have a headache because nobody is right as rain, chatty, sociable in the staff room when they have an actual migraine.

I had a boss who struggled in with flu once. He was one of the stoic kind.
I caught it. I was 3 months pregnant and already struggling with morning sickness. It caused me to be sick on the hour every hour for several days. I was signed off for almost a month. My husband caught it and we had to send out an sos so my parents could come and care for our baby daughter as neither of us could. He was signed off for 2 weeks too. It was a horrible time.

Apart from anything else I do wonder if some of my younger child’s health issues (minor but still...) are influenced by how very unwell I was at an early stage of pregnancy.

It’s a difficult one
I’m in senior management and none of my current staff team abuse our sickness policy - generally if you feel a bit rough or are infectious I would rather you work from home or just do shorter days etc
Anyone really ill we are very sympathetic over - however I have had people in the past who went off sick for very minor things, including hangovers
I actually feel awful myself at the moment bad throat, can hardly speak, chest tight, headache and remnants of a bad cold but don’t even feel I can work from home as I’m committed to a training event today and client work tomorrow (can’t let them down as I’m covering as we have literally no one else available) hoping if I spend all weekend resting will be fit for Monday as have deadlines I can’t miss
It sucks

They are the same people who says they have a migraine when they have a headache because nobody is right as rain, chatty, sociable in the staff room when they have an actual migraine.

That gives me the rage!

When I have a migraine, I'm in bed, as still as possible, vomitting into a bucket at 15-20 minute intervals. I've been admitted to hospital because migraine has made me so dehydrated that my blood pressure is through the floor and they have to put me on a drip to rehydrate me.

When other people walk round the office saying they've got a terrible migraine, I find myself wishing them the real thing, just so they know what it's like.

@JaceLancs Yeah exactly, it's about commitments. If you can work from home then great, but not everyone has that luxury and you have to decide where your priorities lie.

I was once marched out of work by my line manager and ordered to go to hospital because I'd cut the end off my thumb and the bleeding wouldn't stop. If they'd have let me, I'd have rather stayed and finished teaching my lessons as it was coming up to exams and I didn't want to let my students down.

I stayed off work with tonsillitis once- worked in a call centre and I was in extreme pain. Was made to feel Like crap about it all.
a few months later while going through my file at work (it had been given to me to look after as we moved offices) I found a printout of emails between senior management suggesting that I had been putting it on and exaggerating. I was really upset and hurt.

And the worst culprits are schools with their stupid attendance awards.

Yes it is upsetting OP. I have a chronic condition, I deal with the pain when it flares up but I find it hard to deal with people's judgement when I call in sick or can't make an arrangement.

People who have very good health often take it for granted.

I think taking days off for a cold is a bit of a failing to be honest

A cold can be anything from a minor sniffle, to a full blown rancid snotty nose, sore throats, headache, temperature feel-like death event.

I’d much rather people stayed home and didn’t sneeze on me at work.

I had the flu a few years ago over Christmas. Proper full on fever, chills, achy all over, headache, puking and so weak I literally couldn't get out of bed. It was awful and only made worse by work being absolute bastards over it. They clearly didn't believe I was actually ill, even though at one point my temp was over 40°.

Ended up being bullied into going back and fainted in the crew room. It also kicked off the year from hell where I was back and forth to the doctor's constantly because I just wasn't right.

I was put through a disciplinary procedure due to swine flu. I worked part time and had the audacity to be ill for almost a fortnight so it counted as "two incidents" of sickness.
My manager thought it was daft, but the policy came down from on high.
Wrt colds, it also depends on the job. My DH works in an office and can manage to work through most colds, unless they leave him unable to speak and then he's stuffed!
My old job was in retail and quite physical. I remember one day I went in with the start of a cold and realising two hours later I'd done nothing but run back and forth for tissues to stop my nose gushing and I'd not actually accomplished anything at all. I must have looked gross too.
I went home and promptly fell asleep and felt all the better for it.
I can really sympathise with the pp and sinusitis. I've had it once and for the next year every cold I caught was incredibly painful caused my ears to block and produce extra goop. Thankfully I was sahp by that point.

When other people walk round the office saying they've got a terrible migraine, I find myself wishing them the real thing, just so they know what it's like.

I feel that way about people who sound a bit croaky and sniffly but go to work with a box of lemsip and an extra jumper...saying they have a "touch of the flu."

No you fucking don't. Flu doesn't "touch" anybody. It smacks you in the face until you fall over, stomps on your head and then sits on your chest so you can't get up again.