To ask why some people behave like illness is a moral failing?

[Merryoldgoat]

I’ve seen it on a few threads lately but I’ve met people who think it too.

It’s like they either think the sheer luck not to get ill makes them superior in some way or that you’re some kind of massive piss-taker if you take any time off for a cold.

I mentioned on a thread ages ago that I’d had three sick days one year - 1 for a migraine and two for a heavy cold. People acted like I should be on absence management.

I KNOW there are some people who take the piss, but AIBU to think that generally, if you’re ill, it’s shitty luck and you need to do what you need to, to get better.

As an aside, wouldn’t you rather sick people stay home and not infect the rest of the workforce?

I have had some horrific colds... not just a runny nose/cough etc, but high temperature, shivers, throat like daggers, unable to breathe out of either nostril, absolutely miserable... DH doesn’t get it as he literally just gets a bit of a sniffle. I wouldn’t want to inflict a cold like that on anyone.

Nona

I’ve worked in 7 companies as an adult ranging from massive global to tiny owner-managed.

None of them had draconian policies about sickness and all paid occupational sick pay for a period.

I’ve has considerably more than 3 days off in other years and the only comment I’ve had on return is ‘I hope you’re feeling better.’

These employers are a disgrace.

I’m not saying you don’t manage and check etc. but common sense will tell you a diligent, able and well-performing member of staff will not fake sickness.

I’m glad to see there are others who get colds like I do (you know what I mean!!). My son and I are currently very ill with one - I’ve had a fever, wheezing, coughing up phlegm etc. If I wasn’t on mat leave I wouldn’t be at work, that’s for sure.

I got sacked from a job for being signed off work with acute bronchitis.

I'd dragged myself to work for days because of the attitude of the boss that 'we don't have time off here', when i dragged my sorry soul to the GP at 3pm on the Friday he told me if I had left it the weekend it would have been a hospital admission and 12 week sick note.

Stupid cow of a boss at work made me phone in at 8 am every day of the sick note then sacked me on return.

As I had less than a year's service there was not a thing I could do about it.

Reading through the posts it seems that some people have no ability to understand that the same illness will affect different people differently.

And all the teachers going into school with heavy colds, passing them to children who then have time off and then the parents get shit for keeping them off. This actually happened to my son’s class last year.

tara

That is truly shocking.

It happens though. You are very vulnerable in your first year of any job. Unless sickness is for a disability related reason you can be sacked.

To be honest she was a cow and I was glad to be out of there.

I've got a cold at the moment and am self employed and haven't worked today and have rested. I'm aware that things can become nasty if you don't take care of yourself.

Interesting. When my son's been ill and off school his grandmother is very dismissive "Well he should go in tomorrow", Well, er, no, not unless he's better. just like OP said as if its a moral failing, when in fact he would never miss school unless he was genuinely unwell.

She (DM) has always had good health. Probably only a few days off work her whole life . But not everyone is like that, not by a long chalk. I once said to her, why go into work and school and give it to everyone else and she said "Who fucking cares"

I get wheel out this story as well. Pregnant and had a cold. Fainted at work. Hit my head, and throwing up when I came round. Big company so had to see the first aider. Who decided, in tandem with my boss that if I worked standing by an open window i wouldn’t faint again. An hour later I was on the floor. Got an emergency appointment in my lunch hour and was signed off. I was made to feel terrible when in hindsight I was sick and the first aider had a days trianing so wasn’t fit decide.

first aider has a day's training, obviously highly qualified to decide for you . Am left wondering what bizarre big company you are working for is ... I know you can't say though they sound like complete tools.

I once went to a sickness policy briefing with the rest of my department and our boss. It was presented by the infection control senior nurse (this was in a hospital). She was a force to be reckoned with. She explained the circumstances in which it's acceptable to self medicate and come to work (allergies, minor injuries, non-communicable chronic conditions that are under appropriate management), and the circumstances when it absolutely is not (coughs and colds, within 48 hours of D/V, eye/ear infections etc).

The boss spluttered and whinged about how staff sickness affects the service and how we're always short staffed and people should be capable of working if they just have a cold...

She glared at him, hoisted up her ample bosom and explained in no uncertain terms that if a patient contracted a communicable illness from a staff member while they were immunosuppressed, this would be a reportable incident to the Department Of Health and the person responsible would be disciplined. She then rotated a scorching glare around the room and said very slowly "You have no business coming into this building if you have a cold."

None of us dared, after that. But staff sickness rates were still well below average while she was in charge.

*She lives 30 miles away from college but rather than just not come in, she felt she had an obligation to her class so found a train that was running.

The common cold is not a good enough reason I’m afraid.*

Now this is logic I really don't get. A minor inconvenience like having to use public transport is seen as the high watermark of a strict workplace but something that could put an immuno-compromised colleague or pupil in hospital just doesn't cut it.

I am currently in bed with a bad cold. I can sit upright propped up with pillows for maximum half an hour before I start feeling faint and sick.

I'm currently off with a gastric bug and am a bit worried about what work will say. My manager won't care, he's off too with flu. But hr have already warned me about too many sick days last year (don't remember how many but they were all flu related). I get sick easily unfortunately. This is horrible though.

I'm chronically ill and on immunosupressants too. I feel like I'm judged because I can no longer work, that all those working look down on me. I only have one child left at home (well I will in two weeks) and whenever I'm asked about what I do for a living, people's attitudes change when they find out I don't work, like I chose this rather boring and bland existence now because, you know I'm sick for life now 🙄

The problem is that most people don't stand up to their bosses or stupid policies at work. And they don't join the unions. Someone on a thread about university snobbery mentioned people not joining unions and how good it is. Jesus fucking Christ.
We had a carpets cleaned at work and somehow it resulted in stench causing people headaches, coughs and stomach pains, and I said to my manager "they aren't coming in tomorrow, all of them, and that's on special paid leave" and that was that. Told the team, obv. to stay at home and not play the martyr.
I said to the seniour HR person once once that our trigger point policy is stupid and makes ill people come to work, and she got very huffy and puffy and took offence because she worked on this policy and made it happen. Well, she then personally was responsible for making a lot of ill people more ill in my view.

But the real thing is: do people appreciate a good compassionate manager? No. Do they abide by what an arse of a manager (the kind "if it breathes, it can work)? Yes. Obediently they run to work in fear. And snot.

I was asked to deputise in an interdepartmental video conference. On the day in question I went down with a cold, thought "I can't possibly duck out when our dept is already sending a deputy", so went in, sat in the meeting in a semi-conscious stupor (you know those colds when you find it impossible to stay awake for more than 2mins at a time?) only dimly aware of anything that was happening. Towards the end of the meeting I thought "I can't possibly leave this meeting without having said anything" and made some trite observation which was treated with barely concealed scorn. So, even though it was "just a cold" not only was my presence completely superfluous, I didn't do my career any favours either.

I think taking days off for a cold is a bit of a failing to be honest.

It depends how ill the cold makes you feel, surely?

When I get a cold, I ache all over, feel shivery, get an excruciating sore throat and often run a temperature. No way do I feel well enough to go to work.

I'd prefer other people not to go to work, too, then I wouldn't get their bloody colds.

Not an illness as such but I'm currently off work for my 3rd miscarriage in a row and being made to feel like it's just a huge inconvenience for them.

I had 1 day off the first time, 2 weeks (Dr's orders) the second time and this is my second day this time. I'll be going back tomorrow because I just feel too guilty about it like I'm a nuisance. I've been with them for most of my working life.

The first day when I text to say I wasn't coming in I got...

'Right, well please let me know as soon as possible when you'll be back then'

And yes, they know why as well! And I know as soon as I go back I'll just be thrown straight back in (high stress, customer dealing role). I'm terrified I'll have a break down.

Whirly I could have written your post, practically word for word, although my DC is high school age.

I get spoken to and treated like a second class citizen because I’m ill and can’t work, like I choose this pathetic existence!

I feel very fortunate that I work somewhere compassionate and flexible.

We also have a very low sickness rate - people are treated well and with respect and therefore don’t take the piss.

Mulberry being ill is seen as a weakness these days, being chronically ill means you are at the bottom of the food chain in some people's eyes. Sad sign of our times...

I never take time off because luckily for me I’m not often ill but my place of work has very high rates of sick leave so any absence is managed in a very ott way imo.

I liked the above idea of a sickness marshall who can pop out and declare you ill and sign you off for the day. Would save messing about with phone calls and back to work interviews and gp notes etc.

Wrt businesses who trigger special measures after three sickness days a year deal with those with chronic illnesses? Are they just fired?

DH has a longterm condition, but his company must be exceptionally good, it seems! They just eventually made an arrangement (after one quite a long - but much needed, and insisted on by his dr - sickness leave) that he can work from home at will, to make it easier for him to keep working more often.

That meant to say - how do businesses DEAL with those with chronic illnesses.

Ive had 39 days off so far this year. Four weeks was recovering from surgery, for which I’d already had two and a half weeks off while in hospital, I spent Christmas and New Year in the hotel NHS. And have had five admissions for small bowel obstructions since then. I only ever take time off when in hospital though. So far my work have been okay about it, but I worry about more admissions. Plus am only on SSP so it’s a big financial hit.