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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby changing

28 replies

Astrid2 · 05/09/2018 07:19

AIBU?

A couple of times I've taken my baby to change her and have found the baby change to be just in the female toilets outside all the cubicles? Not only does this mean I can't go to the loo after I've changed her but also don't like how everyone can see her wee bum and dirty nappy!! Also where do men take their babies?

OP posts:
SweepTheHalls · 05/09/2018 07:26

No one cares about you child's nappy.

Losingthewill1 · 05/09/2018 07:28

Sweep the halls

How about you sweep your attitude out of here

SnuggyBuggy · 05/09/2018 07:31

To be honest I still haven't worked out how to use the toilet when out alone with DD. Some sort of rails that you could bike lock the pram to might work.

Also yes it means men with babies have nowhere to change them.

SnottyLittleMango · 05/09/2018 07:32

I hate this - they always seem to be next to the hand driers and DD doesn't like the noise - when she was tiny she used to nearly jump off the changing table whenever anyone used one

NotOurDivision · 05/09/2018 07:39

You need to search out the good changing spots in your town. When my first DC was little I had a great knowledge of which shops/cafes had the good big changing rooms. Best was in the fancy shopping centre which had a parent room with change table, adult and toddler toilet and a nice chair to sit in. Was always spotlessly clean. No 2 on the way and I'm just hoping it's still as good.

Pamdoo · 05/09/2018 07:40

No one cares about you child's nappy

She didn't ask if anyone cared, was just asking about changing facilities. What is seriously wrong with people's own lives they have to be so rude?

In answer to your question OP, I can't say I've ever had an issue, but I'll go back to the car at do it there or try and do it discreetly as possible. Also if i need a wee i pick somewhere like costa that has only one toilet as usually it's also big enough for a wheelchair user so I can bring the pram in.

reluctantbrit · 05/09/2018 07:48

I think it depends. In lots of larger shopping malls in our area you have changing/feeding areas where both parents can go, including an extra toilet cubicle. The feeding area is normally screened so any dad changing can’t see a nursing mum.

We also have toilet cubicles large enough to have a pram in.

In restaurants I often find the changing station in the disabled toilet, again, both parents can do it.

In the one case DH had an issue he went back to the car and changed DD in the boot.

Notagainmun · 05/09/2018 07:53

If I need the toilet when out with a baby in a buggy and toddler we all just pile into the nearest disabled. I know it is wrong but if no one is using it where is the harm?

Tartsamazeballs · 05/09/2018 07:53

I think that this is the whole reason for maternity leave- it gives you a nice long time to scope out all the coffee shops in town to work out which one has the best nappy changing facilities.

No seriously it does suck wherever they're placed- in the ladies outside a cubicle? Lack of privacy and lack of pee options and the bloody hand driers are guaranteed to shit the baby up. Don't even get me started on what to do in that situation if you're a dad. In the disabled loos? That's great there's loads of space, until you have a 20 wet wipe job that takes fucking ages, and you're blocking the loo for people that might not be able to wait that long.

leighdinglady · 05/09/2018 07:55

We had this yesterday whereby the changing facilities were only in the ladies. DH took her in there. DD needed changing and was 'losing her shit' in all possible ways.
It wouldn't bother me at all if a man brought his baby in to the ladies. I know lots of women on MN would be horrified and clutching their pearls though.

kitbabingley · 05/09/2018 07:57

I think Sweep was referring to OP's comment about everyone seeing her child's bum and dirty nappy, as if anyone would be paying close attention. I am inclined to agree, I don't walk into a toilet, see a child being changed and take note of whether it's a wee or a poo or anything like that, and I really doubt anyone else does.

I agree you need to experiment and seek out the best changing areas. I used to always make a beeline for Debenhams even if I wasn't shopping there, because they have a huge changing room with adult toilet and lots of space for pushchairs etc

Sirzy · 05/09/2018 07:57

A lot of places don’t have the space for a seperate changing area so a fold down table in the toilets (ladies AND gents) is the best alternative in those cases.

Moody123 · 05/09/2018 07:59

If for eg the baby change is in the end cubical I change him and put him in the pram and then leave the door open (pram blocking it) and go for a wee!
If he's about I just lock him in with me and give him a car to ply with (he always has 1 in his bag)
The men one does my head in, but DH changes my LO pull up by doing it inside the men's toilets whole LO is stood up (they are mostly clean apparently) but as a baby we have before laid the pram flat and done it outside just put our changing mat on the pram (even the floor or car seat sometimes) x

Palegreenstars · 05/09/2018 08:10

So many different set ups both in the UK and else where. TBH I just make sure I have a large muselin, then you can change on the floor if you absolutely have too. Although in the summer nearest park is better.

My main frustration is when there’s no bin so you have to take a stinky nappy with you.

Agree with pp stroller in front of toilet and go for it if you have to. Else you very quickly find yourself restricted by where you can go, because the set up isn’t right.

holidaycountdown54321 · 05/09/2018 08:17

We usually only have this problem if we go out somewhere for example a small pub for lunch. It's very annoying, my husband will volunteer to change the baby and 30 seconds later come back and say you'll have to do it, its in the women's!

If you are in a shopping centre it's usually ok, cafes tend to put the baby changing in the disabled toilet (probably not a good move if you are actually disabled!) and debenhams usually have a family toilet, it has baby changing and a loo all in one room. My husband doesn't have our kids alone that often, if he does out and about we've just worked out where to go if he needs the loo too (debenhams).

User467 · 05/09/2018 08:48

Bigger shopping centres are generally then best place to with babies. They tend to have bigger changing areas and parent and child toilets that you can take a pram into. I chose where to go based on how easy it was for pram etc

mintich · 05/09/2018 08:54

My local m&s is like this so I end up using the disabled toilet so that I can use the loo! I'm not leaving my baby unattended outside the cubicles.
I also hate tgat the baby change is just on the counter next to the sinks.
Luckily the majority of places either have a separate room or share the disabled toilets

mintich · 05/09/2018 08:55

Nct have a baby changing app that you can rate facilities on, so I use that if I go somewhere unfamiliar

Aw12345 · 05/09/2018 08:58

Totally agree... Changing nappies is not a female job. It's a parent's job. There are just as many male parents as female. Nappy changing rooms should be separated from male or female toilets.

(Side point, in Tesco yesterday no soap in nappy changing room... Gross.)

SnuggyBuggy · 05/09/2018 08:59

To be fair my local shopping centre has changing rooms which just have changing facilities that both sexes can use.

ChangerChangerson · 05/09/2018 09:00

I guess I've been quite fortunate that where I live a lot of places have dedicated baby change or the male toilets has facilities too but if I were in the ladies toilet and a man needed to come in to use the baby change facilities I wouldn't have a problem.

What I did find was on my recent holiday overseas that there were no baby change facilities anywhere at all. We need up having to find slightly concealed areas on low walls or the floor to change my DS. I just couldn't work out how the locals did it.

Jammiebammie · 05/09/2018 09:02

It’s a complete pain. What’s worse is my 9yo dd is disabled and wears nappies, and there’s nowhere to change her at all! Me or dh take her into the disabled toilets and we have to carry a towel with us and put it down on the floor and change her there - completely disgusting at times but really no other way around it.

LeighaJ · 05/09/2018 09:04

The only time I've ever noticed a baby being changed was right as I was leaving the bathroom a little boy peed all over the place and his Mum.

2b1c51 · 05/09/2018 09:07

I encountered a similar changing set up at a motorway service station. DD had done the most enormous explosive poo in her car seat that had gone up her back, out of her sleeves, up her neck etc. and I had to change it on the table in the entrance to the ladies. It was really difficult without a sink, I needed dh's help so as not to get poo everywhere (on a way to a wedding in all our finery!) and everyone could see the entire carnage and our incompetent faffing. I think we put quite a few teenagers off having a baby that day!!!

BunsOfAnarchy · 05/09/2018 09:10

Oh OP i could have posted this myself! I have my first baby, 21 weeks old and i struggle to find a baby change that has a toilet in there for parent too.
I cant/refuse to go loo and leave baby in pram outside cubicle in the ladies toilets. Too risky. So far the nest are;

  • My local asda has a baby change with loo for parent inside.
  • Mamas and Papas baby change have a loo for parent.
  • I think the same with John Lewis too.
  • Some coffee shops/restaurants/pubs baby change facilities are incorporated in disabled loo so thats handy for both parents.
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