To think this is rude

[Sony3203]

My DP and his entire family all slap their mouths very badly when eating regardless of what they are eating and I find it extremely annoying and rude especially when at the dinner table. I never know how to ask them to stop politely but it always really puts me off my own food. His younger sister is also constantly ill and therefore has a stuffy nose all year round which she never does anything about and never uses a tissue or anything. Her nose is always full so she always just very obviously and loudly 'breathes' it back in and decides to breather through her mouth instead. She always does his while eating dinner as well and the noise of her snotty nose really grossed me out when trying to eat my food. Would this bother you? Do you think IABU?

What does 'slap their mouths ' actually mean?

Yes this would gross me out. Dfil and dbil do this. Luckily o don’t have to eat very often with them but it’s very distracting.

Slap their mouths?

It's awful ain't it?

No help - move to a different room

I feel sick 🤢

By 'slap their mouths' I mean chew and eat very loudly

Yup it would bother me, to the point of not joining them for meals. If DP does it, have a word.

No YANBU. But there is bugger all that you can do about it. Never mind, distract yourself, think higher thoughts etc

Ugh. Gross.
I'm no help but I'm getting myself comfy for all the replies. I dog walk regularly with a friend who is constantly sniffing up her phlegm from her nose to the back of her throat. Loudly. It makes me feel ill. I know I could stop walking with her and maybe I should. I certainly have never felt I could mention it.

Don’t eat with them
I feel a bit sick after reading your descriptions- yuk and boak

Teach the children the correct way with constant reminders about eating with your lips together. Firm, consistent message. Make sure they’re not shovelling too much into the mouths or trying to talk with food in their mouths. If they are, pull them up about it. Table manners are so important.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one!! I've spoke. To DP on a few occasions and he's been getting better and better I think it's just a case of forgetting with him whereas I can't really say anything to his family. His sister comes round for dinner quite often as well which I feel I can't really put a stop to without a reasonable justification

The main issue should be that your DP eats like that, presumably meals with the family can’t be that regular an occurrence unless you live with in-laws so I’d look for an excuse to eat with them as little as possible without causing offence. And when you can’t get out of it then eat before you go. As for your DP, tell him to stop it, if his whole family does it too then he probably hasn’t realised.

There are some cultures where it is good manners to make chewing noises to show you are enjoying the food.

x posted! Just arrange the dinner table so you don’t sit directly opposite the sister? And make a point of saying ‘you sound stuffy Sarah, hope you’re ok, here’s a tissue’ and shove the tissue box in front of her nose so she can’t refuse.

BertieBott
Great point and massively helpful advice NOT

Op, if you don’t like it then tell them. Or one day you may find yourself screaming Shut the fuck up.
Or maybe that’s just me!!

It doesn't sound very pleasant but it would be phenomenally rude to point it out.

It's absolutely rank.

DH doesn't do, but he clanks the fork/spoon against his teeth when he eats and does other things as well.

If it was as bad as smacking his lips when he eats, I wouldn't have been able to marry him.

I fucking hate eating noises of any kind.

Drives me crazy. Misophonia

My PiL do this and it makes me feel ill. They also make loud "nom nom nom" noise and rather than wait for tea or soup to cool they slurp it from the top. I put on music when they come to our house or arrange the seating so it is lessened...

I realise it is my problem, but it makes me feel nauseous.

Oh it's revolting. We had friends who all did this and I couldn't cope with going out for meals with them. Their DC also used to walk around taking food off everyone's plates during mealtimes.

DH once waited til one of the DC was alongside him, looked him dead in the eye and said "No, you don't ever take food off my plate" and the kid laughed, reached past him and took a handful of food. That was the last time we saw them.

It's one of my misophonia triggers, fucking hate it and it makes me feel almost violent, then very tearful tbh. Background noises like music or the radio may help op? I find that a little helpful. Or finding reasons to leave the room part way through for a breather if it's causing issues.

It is fucking rude too, nobody needs to hear it. My mother does it and constantly talks with a mouth full of food too.

Fucking twats eating apples in quiet offices make me go insane.

I thought you were my dh until you got to the sister part 😂 My family drive us both spare with their eating noises! No solution for you I am afraid, we just sit there knowing we are thinking the same as each other. As for the sister I would have a box of tissues ready and say "Mary you're very bunged up" and present her with the tissues. I suspect though you may be fighting a losing battles on both fronts

Oh ladies, looking at some of your responses makes me feel So much better!! Makes me both chuckle and scream at the same time seeing how this one little(NOT) thing infuriates me to no end - and obviously not just me!! Ugh..