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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not believing him

33 replies

MassiveMug · 04/09/2018 18:20

My bf split up with me last week because he has depression and was going through a bad depressive state. He ended it as he said he had no feelings for anything or anyone so needed to be in his own so he could sort himself out for the sake of his DC and job.

However since we’ve split, I’ve noticed he is constantly on WhatsApp and going out a lot.

I did ask him if he was using his depression as an excuse and he had someone else and he said that wa really low of me to say that and denied there is anyone else.

Before he became ill with his depression, everything was perfect and we were making lots of plans but I just can’t seem to shake that feeling that he has someone else.

OP posts:
Littlemissdemeanour · 04/09/2018 18:22

You’ve posted this before OP?

Trinity66 · 04/09/2018 18:23

Not to be harsh but does it really matter now? You've broken, you should try to move with your life

Original poster
MassiveMug · 04/09/2018 18:24

I can’t get my head around it.

OP posts:
zeeboo · 04/09/2018 18:28

My sons gf did the same to him. He waited, lovingly and patiently for her (they were 'having a break' rather than split) for 6 months before finding out it was because she wanted to be out with her best friend, partying all the time.

I fear your suspicions may be correct and I'm really sorry for you. It takes a particular brand of fucker to mess with people's minds like that and devalue depression like that.

Littlemissdemeanour · 04/09/2018 18:28

But you’ve posted before and have a whole other thread, yes?

gamerchick · 04/09/2018 18:34

Yes and the answers weren't enough on that one. Im not sure what answers you're looking for OP. He's ended it, it doesn't matter why.

Original poster
MassiveMug · 04/09/2018 18:36

He did look really bad when he ended it so I never questioned it. But since then he is literally on the app every 10mins. I want to say something to him but what if I’m massively wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
MassiveMug · 04/09/2018 18:37

I hate the fact I may have been lied to and that he ‘used’ his depression as an excuse.

OP posts:
Littlemissdemeanour · 04/09/2018 18:38

REPORTED

PersianCatLady · 04/09/2018 18:39

I can’t get my head around it
Move on. Whatever the reason, he doesn't want to be with you any more.

cheesefield · 04/09/2018 18:39

Reported?

Original poster
MassiveMug · 04/09/2018 18:41

Reported for what exactly? Sorry if my heartbreak is boring for you!!

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 04/09/2018 18:42

I hate the fact I may have been lied to and that he ‘used’ his depression as an excuse
Never mind.

I am sure that if he had said he didn't want to be with you any more, you would have hated that as well.

PersianCatLady · 04/09/2018 18:43

How long had you been together?

Original poster
MassiveMug · 04/09/2018 18:44

persian I would have done, but at least I wouldn’t have been lied to and that’s what I’m struggling with.

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 04/09/2018 18:46

How long had you been together?

Sparklesocks · 04/09/2018 18:48

I think whatever he is doing now, it is what it is and you need to move forward.
You don’t know what he’s doing when he’s out and he might be drinking heavily or his depression might be manifesting in different ways.

It’s best to think about the future and getting over him.

Original poster
MassiveMug · 04/09/2018 18:50

We were together 6 months, not a massive amount of time but still long enough to be in love with him.

OP posts:
Cleo2628 · 04/09/2018 18:51

Delete him on WhatsApp and social media. It’ll be easier Flowers

PinkHeart5914 · 04/09/2018 18:56

What do you want us to say?

It’s over, it’s done. It hurts now but I promise it won’t forever love. Truth is your probably never get your head round it, you just have to move on......

(And do youself a favour, block his number on what’s app and delete his number)

Angrybird345 · 04/09/2018 18:59

Walk away, he’s not the one for you.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 04/09/2018 19:00

It is possible to be depressed and use WhatsApp Hmm

Louiselouie0890 · 04/09/2018 19:03

So because he's on WhatsApp he's not depressed made it all up and has someone else? Lonely people can sit on there phones all day. How bizarre.

obviousNC101 · 04/09/2018 19:04

I said this on your last post: he doesn't want to be with you. He has been clear about that but is clearly trying to soften the blow using his depression as the reason. Get over it.

Original poster
MassiveMug · 04/09/2018 19:05

My point is that he only really used it before to chat to me and since we’ve split he’s in it all the time? Bit of a coincidence?

OP posts:
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