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Original poster

Not to contribute to mortgage?

150 replies

StopItAndTidyUpNow · 04/09/2018 10:44

My sister has been with her boyfriend for about 4 years, they live separately, he has one DC from a previous marriage..

They want to buy their own place together but in order to do that she is going to sell hers, move in with him into his house and then once a suitable house comes on the market they will only have one house to sell rather than 2.
They agreed to sell hers because his DC is settled in the house and it wouldn't be fair to move him once to hers, then again to another place, plus his DC can walk to school from where he lives now and can't from my sisters place.

Anyway, we were talking about it on the weekend and she plans to move in but not to contribute to the mortgage by paying rent, the reason being is that all her disposable income will go straight into savings and be used to put into the new house. She doesn't want to contribute to the mortgage because she won't be named on it so if anything were to happen to her DP she would need to leave and ultimately she has reduced someone else's debt with no benefit to her. Similarly if they were to split up she will have reduced her DP's mortgage debt and be entitled to nothing.

Her and her DP have spoken about this and whilst he agrees that this is the most sensible thing to do he keeps giving her the occasional dig, i don't think hes serious, but a lot of serious things are said in jest! saying things like "well you could swan off after a year of free rent with your savings" - obviously she wouldn't do this, unless the relationship broke down but she's concerned that it will start to become an issue the longer she is there.

She has asked me if its the right thing to do and I am biased because she's my sister and because this happened to me - I moved in with an ex, paid rent which reduced his mortgage so that when we bought our next house we would have had more of a deposit, but the relationship broke down and he ended up with approximately 20k reduced off his mortgage just from my contribution and I walked away with nothing.

So has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

OP posts:
Sorry10 · 05/09/2018 18:31

I think she should pay rent regardless if it pays the mortgage off or not she is living rent free effectively so yes he's right she's not paying any mortgage but he is so why should he not get money for it . She can't not pay rent on the off chance they may split up in a year . Tbh if they are both thinking this way they should definitely have a rethink . My sis in law sold her house and moved in with new bf because is bigger they used money for refurbishments on house so now both there house .

GinPink · 05/09/2018 18:32

They should each have half her savings.

ManorGreyhound · 05/09/2018 18:41

Her logic is all wrong.

My tenant pays my mortgage entirely (and I actually make a small profit out of the let)

He has no rights to any form of ownership of my property, and could never claim to have despite the fact that when he moves out, he will have paid a significant chunk off my mortgage.

She should maybe reframe it in her mind as being a tenant and paying rent as opposed making a contribution to the mortgage as such.

I'm going to whisper this but she's being a bit of a cocklodger

ManorGreyhound · 05/09/2018 18:43

ultimately she has reduced someone else's debt with no benefit to her

The benefit to her is that she has had a roof over her head!

Wow, do people really think like this?

Username198 · 05/09/2018 18:44

ManorGreyhound

I could see your point if she'd previously been renting but as she owned her own house paying rent would be an expense she didn't previously have which would leave her much worse off than before.

ManorGreyhound · 05/09/2018 18:49

She would still have been paying the mortgage on her original home though.

She's all of a sudden dramatically reduced her monthly outgoings by deciding that she isn't going to pay a penny for the roof over her head!

ManorGreyhound · 05/09/2018 18:50

OP doesn't say that the property was owned outright, so I'm assuming there was a mortgage in place? This is by a mile the most common form of home ownership anyway.

Username198 · 05/09/2018 18:54

But mortgage payments aren't an expense as increase her asset so more of an investment which she can "cash in" at a later date. Whereas rent is dead money she'll never see again.

supermum06 · 05/09/2018 18:57

I would rent outmy own place to make sure that living together is the right thing relationship wise.. If she rents it out would it cover the mortgage and building insurance etc plus some spare to put towards bills at her boyfriends house so she's not out of pocket...

NapQueen · 05/09/2018 18:58

Cant he just put her on the deeds then they can split the mortgage aalong with the bills.

CaliNative · 05/09/2018 19:04

Perhaps you could contribute to the rent, but as a protection, agree to put a charge on the title to his property so that he cannot sell unless the debt is repaid? Likely your local high street solicitor can arrange this at minimal cost (might be worth it for peace of mind). Query how well bringing this up might go with your partner though....

In the (unlikely!) event you split up before the joint move, he cannot transfer title/ sell until the charge is removed (which you would agree to on being repaid out of the proceeds whatever amount you had contributed).

If you are still together and you are going ahead with the move, you will obviously agree to remove the charge because the proceeds are going towards the new joint home.

Sunshine365 · 05/09/2018 19:17

No, she shouldn’t pay rent.

They are both effectively saving and, rightly, are keeping their savings separate. He’s saving into equity in a house, she’s saving into a savings account (or similar).
If they split up, he walks away with increased equity, she walks away with increased savings (and will be homeless, have all the costs associated with buying a new place of her own, likely having to pay a higher price for an equivalent property etc)

Paying rent is a commercial transaction, he would be profiting from her. She should of course contribute to all the running costs of the house whilst she’s there (including maintenance) but that’s it. She’d be a fool to contribute to pay rent/ contribute to his mortgage without having her name on the deeds.

ManorGreyhound · 05/09/2018 19:25

You can't just 'add someone to the deeds' - Its actually quite a big deal and usually requires you to remortgage in joint names with all the associated fees/early repayment charges etc.

To be honest, this isn't looking too good - do you think they should be making a commitment like this while your DSis has her (metaphorical) bags packed and running shoes on?

I do (kind of) see her point, but her whole approach seems to be at odds with the spirit of the thing.

beibermylove · 05/09/2018 19:34

Mumsnet seems to have a thing about people "paying their way". Applies to spouses/ partners and adult children. Personally I think this is weird.

I have a mortgage, and if a partner moved in I'd probably expect them to pay a larger share of bills/ food, but not rent for one half of my bed. I think this only makes sense in certain situations where you are losing money you need by someone moving in - ie, if you're losing rent from a lodger you need to cover the mortgage, or tax credits or something.

And in this case they will both gain from her savings - they aren't really just hers - its theirs to jointly buy a house.

TheWinterofOurDiscountTentsMk2 · 05/09/2018 19:36

Cant he just put her on the deeds then they can split the mortgage aalong with the bills

Do people actually think that is something you can do? Do you not understand how mortgages work?

beibermylove · 05/09/2018 19:37

And its completely different to being a tenant if you are sharing a room.

I agree that it might be a good idea for her to rent out her place instead though.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 05/09/2018 19:39

It’s fine for her to save the cash. If she pays rent it will count as her paying mortgage and she will have a claim on the house despite her name not being on it

ManorGreyhound · 05/09/2018 19:42

If she pays rent it will count as her paying mortgage and she will have a claim on the house despite her name not being on it

This just isn't true, I wish people wouldn't post such ignorant nonsense on threads where important issues are being discussed.

TheWinterofOurDiscountTentsMk2 · 05/09/2018 19:43

If she pays rent it will count as her paying mortgage and she will have a claim on the house despite her name not being on it

Wrong.

beibermylove · 05/09/2018 19:53

It drives me crazy how people compare relationships to landlord/ tenant relationships. Would you rent from a landlord who wanted you to share their beds and shag them. He's not losing money from her being there, the mortgage isn't going up because she moved in. He'll be better off, just by her contributing to bills. Why should he make a profit from his partner? Why should anyone? Its bizarre.

BakedBeans47 · 05/09/2018 19:55

*Cant he just put her on the deeds then they can split the mortgage aalong with the bills

Do people actually think that is something you can do? Do you not understand how mortgages work?*

Oh I know, it’s not like mortgages are secured by legal deeds and you’d need the consent of the mortgage lender to add on a random person Confused

organicapricot · 05/09/2018 20:10

I did this with my dp although only for 6 months. I sold my house and moved into my dps while we looked for our current house. He was comfortable that as he was paying the same mortgage if I was there or not then I then put what I would have paid for my mortgage into savings and then i used that to buy items for the new house. He got the benefit when he sold his house as he got back a fair bit in equity not all of which went into new house as we'd agreed we would both pay 50% of agreed amount of deposit for new house so he had some left over which are now his own savings.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 05/09/2018 20:12

And still people are ignoring the costs involved for her in selling the house.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 05/09/2018 20:32

Split the cost of the bills but not the mortgage

Oliversmumsarmy · 05/09/2018 20:39

What happens if she moves in and starts paying his mortgage as well as half the bills and then he decides he doesn't want to move.

Isn't this exactly what MN warn women about. Moving in with a guy without the name on the deeds or a ring on her finger