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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel desperate - dhs snoring has moved to another level!

28 replies

JillCrewesmum · 04/09/2018 00:50

So dh snores. I've lived with it for years. I found some really good earplugs.

But now he twitches and jerks as well.

He's doing it roughly every couple of minutes. It's that jerk thing you do when you are half asleep iyswim, except he's fast asleep.

I am also menopausal so hot flashes are keeping me awake as well as the incessant twitching

I have never wanted a spare room more.

OP posts:
ICantBelieveIDidThis · 04/09/2018 00:55

You may want to broach the subject of sleep apnoea.

A trip to the GP and a referral to a sleep clinic may be in order.

The twitching and jerking in his sleep sounds worrying.

rosieposey · 04/09/2018 00:55

My husband used to do that. In the end I recorded him on my phone and made him take it to the gp.

The gp referred him Nd he was given a one night trial at home. He was found. To have severe sleep apnea and now sleeps with a c-pap machine. I can't hear a thing anymore and best of all the risks that come with sleep apnoea are minimised ( stroke heart attach ect).

Please get him to the gp, none of that sounds normal.

Original poster
JillCrewesmum · 04/09/2018 00:57

The twitching and jerking in his sleep sounds worrying

It is a bit. He doesn't want to be diagnosed with sleep apnea in case he loses his driving licence!

OP posts:
ICantBelieveIDidThis · 04/09/2018 00:59

It's dangerous.

If he is in an RTA and it becomes known he has a problem, then it looks worse.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/09/2018 00:59

He doesn't want to be diagnosed with sleep apnea in case he loses his driving licence!

Well he could die or kill someone. Losing his driving licence does seem the least of those.

MsFrizzle · 04/09/2018 01:00

1.2.1 Group 1, Car and Motorcycle Drivers
Mild, moderate or severe Obstructive Sleep Apnoea (OSA) without excessive sleepiness:
You may continue to drive as normal and you do not need to notify the DVLA.

Mild Obstructive Sleep Apnoea Syndrome (OSAS), i.e. Obstructive Sleep Apnoea with the symptom of excessive sleepiness:
You must NOT drive until the excessive sleepiness symptom has been satisfactorily controlled. However, you must inform the DVLA if the symptoms cannot be controlled within three months.

Moderate or severe Obstructive Sleep Apnoea Syndrome (OSAS) i.e. Obstructive Sleep Apnoea with the symptom of excessive sleepiness:
You must NOT drive and must notify the DVLA. You will continue to be licensed to drive, or can apply for your driving license to be restored if previously revoked, once your OSAS is under control, your sleepiness has improved, and you are adhering to CPAP treatment. The DVLA will require medical confirmation of this.

Excessive sleepiness due to suspected Obstructive Sleep Apnoea Syndrome (OSAS):
You must NOT drive until the symptom is satisfactorily controlled but need only notify the DVLA if the suspected diagnosis is confirmed as mild OSAS and the symptoms cannot be controlled within three months. If the diagnosis is that the OSAS is moderate or severe, the notification requirements in the previous paragraph apply.

As long as it's under control he should be fine.

Meepmoop · 04/09/2018 01:00

I feel your pain! I was going to start my own thread on DH snoring. He's kept me awake for an hour so far and it's only a matter of time before the baby wakes up to so need to get every minute I can.

It's soo loud and grating. He is going to wake up bruises the amount I've kicked him to change position

Original poster
JillCrewesmum · 04/09/2018 01:04

He's not sleepy during the day. He's deeply asleep now. Still.jerking away

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/09/2018 01:08

Sleep apnea is DEADLY. It places a massive amount of stress on the heart. Unless he isn't concerned about leaving his family, he needs to see a doctor as soon as possible.

Original poster
JillCrewesmum · 04/09/2018 01:11

Oh god, I hate his snoring but I don't actually want him to die! He has no idea about the twitching. He's been doing it now for over an hour. I will ask him to go to the GP.

OP posts:
FoldyRoll · 04/09/2018 01:16

CPAP will change his (and your life). The way the hospital works it is that if the overnight monitor shows sleep apnoea, they give you a CPAP at the same time as your results. So even though it's a notifiable condition for the DVLA, as it's being treated by CPAP, it's considered under control and therefore no need to surrender your license.
He's much more likely to fall asleep behind the wheel and kill someone now than if he's diagnosed with and treated for OSA.

Original poster
JillCrewesmum · 04/09/2018 01:20

He's not tired in the day! He's very active and perky!

It's me thats knackered Sad

OP posts:
MooseBeTimeForSummer · 04/09/2018 01:32

Take a video. He may seriously have no
Idea how bad he is. Ask him if he could sleep next to that.

User467 · 04/09/2018 01:34

Hmm.....my husband does the twitching thing but always has and I've never worried about it. I only notice it if he falls asleep before me and it tends to be when he's really tired and deeply asleep. Every few seconds he'll twitch his foot or his leg will jerk, but because he's so tall it's enough to bounce. He also snores but not in a way I'm worried about.

FoldyRoll · 04/09/2018 01:42

Magnesium helps with muscle twitches at night.

Tetri · 04/09/2018 01:47

Record it on your phone and bring to GP

tinstar · 04/09/2018 02:05

I recorded DH on the phone and we both went to our gp who said rather gruffly, "I know what snoring sounds like". He suggested I wear ear plugs.

We pretty much sleep in separate rooms now which neither of us likes. And of course that's reduced my tolerance to the snoring so that when we do need to share a room - as we are now - it's bloody awful!!! We're on holiday and had booked a cottage with an extra room but then our eldest split up with his gf last week so came with us. I'm just about to get up and settle on the sofa.

Rather than record on the phone, download the SnoreLab app. It gives you a graph showing how severe the snoring has been overnight. DH can hit 'epic' no problem!!!

Mintylicious · 04/09/2018 02:12

I share your pain OP. DH can rattle the windows and then gets cross when I wake him up to stop it Angry

If he’s twitching and jerking, what’s the pattern? Does he do lots of loud snoring, then sort of stop, then go quiet, then twitch back into roaring snores? I had a boyfriend with severe apnoea (we never went on holiday or anything because I couldn’t bear it!) and that’s what he was like. Effectively he stopped breathing, then it kicked back in with massive snores. It’s unbelievably loud and disruptive for both of you Flowers

Mintylicious · 04/09/2018 02:14

Ps “fun” geek fact to cheer you up, OP - Jill Crewe’s mum was called Catherine Crewe. This is the sort of pointless thing my brain likes to pull out in the middle of the night when DH is snoring happily!

serbska · 04/09/2018 06:24

So no spare room, could you buy a decent sofa bed for him to sleep on downstairs?
Is there room in your bedroom for two singles together with separate duvets? Is he over weight? Does he drink? Does he take it seriously or doesn’t he believe you how bad it is?

PumpkinPie2016 · 04/09/2018 06:47

My husband used to snore terribly (no twitching though) and it was awful for me - I was literally getting no sleep and was permanently exhausted.

In the end, I insisted he visit his GP as I could literally stand it no longer and felt it was unfair that I had to keep moving to the sofa because of it.

He went and they diagnosed an allergy of some sort, gave him a daily use nasal spray and the problem was solved in 2 days. He still has to use the spray each night but at least he no longer snores.

Your husband needs to go to the GP - he is being selfish in not doing so because it is impacting on you.

Original poster
JillCrewesmum · 04/09/2018 07:11

He's fit, not overweight and barely drinks. I will talk to him again about the GP

OP posts:
CatherineCrewe · 04/09/2018 09:25

@Mintylicious

Thank you Wink

eniledam · 04/09/2018 09:42

@Pumpkin is right!

There are loads of reasons for snoring. Colds and allergies can cause nasal congestion which leads to snoring. "Throat snoring" is caused by your airway narrowing too much when you sleep. This happens due to age, weight and lifestyle etc, but it can also happen if you have a naturally narrow airway!

Nasal Sprays will fix congestion snoring. Throat Sprays can be very good for throat snoring. For loud snoring/OSA, you can use an oral device (it's an NHS recommended alternative to CPAP).

Oral devices are like a mouthguard that pushes your jaw forward slightly so your airway stays open. My DH uses the Snoreeze Oral Device (seriously google it) and it pretty much saved our marriage. I don't hear a peep from him all night anymore. You can buy them in Boots and on their website (promise i'm not their marketing rep haha!)

Please, OP, don't put up with it! It's not normal to snore and it could be seriously damaging his health.

CatherineCrewe · 04/09/2018 10:03

He just laughed this morning when I said the GP. He doesn't seem to give a shit.