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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what the point is?

81 replies

Creeper8 · 03/09/2018 22:32

My child has a home visit from the school on wednesday. He is starting in reception. Ive aleady met the teacher and had already had the induction so I cant understand what the home visit is for? I spoke with my friend who said she didnt have one. Is this normal?

OP posts:
NotTakenUsername · 03/09/2018 23:56

Then I’d just say either you are busy, have double booked or if you want to stand out before your child even starts, you could say don’t see the point in visit so don’t bother coming.

mishgs · 04/09/2018 00:16

Then cancel

Thisimmortalcurl · 04/09/2018 00:22

I can understand the reluctance if it’s only a few picked out of the class . That does seem more invasive. Having said that my work involves being in peoples homes every day and I don’t think I judge very much.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 04/09/2018 00:25

I have never heard of pre school home visits! How do they find the time?

Original poster
Creeper8 · 04/09/2018 00:40

Thats what im thinking! Its like 90 children to visit at the school. Especially since no one else I know has had them before... obviously cant be that important!

OP posts:
Tigger001 · 04/09/2018 00:49

MrsTerryPratchett I bloody love the idea of home visits on teachers... I think I may slightly stalk my sons potential teachers when the time comes anyway, when you've seen the horror stories of this lovely world. Overprotective mother here I come 😳😳😳😳

wegotthis · 04/09/2018 00:55

I had this with my DS - I was working away so they visited him at my parents home (they were looking after him) instead. No idea what they got out of it as it's a small school with only 5 in the class anyway

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/09/2018 01:00

Tigger I also think tenants should be able to get references and credit checks for their landlords. Bwahahaha.

Tigger001 · 04/09/2018 01:24

MrsTerryPratchett oh yeah another one !!! I think you should definitely post some of your ideas on here as opening threads just so every now and again it can think maybe I'm not soooo crazy after all ....lol

OzymandiasFanClub · 04/09/2018 06:28

Just cancel then. If you cant see that your child would benefit from the visit, and you think the teacher is snooping.

Aus84 · 04/09/2018 06:54

We had this too. We were told it was totally optional but it helped some children settle more easily. The children got to show their teacher around their home, share their favourite toys etc so that when they started school they felt like they had a more personal connection.

I personally felt my children didn't need it as they are outgoing children who already did activities outside the home with coaches/teachers etc so we didn't make the appointment.

KM99 · 04/09/2018 06:56

My son has a home visit too. His school do this for all the new reception starters. It's so the teachers can see him in his home environment, talk about pets/toys/books etc and make a link back at school so it helps him to settle.

GetItTogetherPlease · 04/09/2018 09:43

It really does help forge a trusting relationship between teacher and child.
If the child sees that their parent trusts this adult enough to let them into their house they're no longer a 'stranger' and can begin to build a relationship with them.
Children are MUCH more relaxed in their home environment and more likely to open up and chat with their teacher. This also helps us to identify if there's any speech or language problems that can be picked up straight away and addressed.
Dumped straight into an unfamiliar environment without having a meaningful conversation with their key worker before hand can sometimes see children not speak for weeks!
It also gives children a meaningful memory on which to initiate conversations with their teacher or peers "remember when you came to my house?" I am asked this year on year by the majority of my kids.

It's for the child's benefit, nothing to do with snooping or checking up.

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 04/09/2018 09:45

To check the dc really lives there. A friend of a friend used his df's name and address to get his dc into their preferred school. Him +df have the same name so had paperwork confirming address etc.

Original poster
Creeper8 · 04/09/2018 12:36

Well its definitely not come across as optional. To tell you the truth I didnt even know I had it! I came across the letter whillst looking for another letter and it said home visit: 9.45 wednesday. I was like Confused definitely cancelling!

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 04/09/2018 12:52

Its so they can snoop. I've read threads on here before about it where teachers have said its so they can see what kind of home life the child has and whether there are any abuse concerns.

I also read that you can't refuse the visit, if you do they just keep trying to come back as its now one of the marker visits used to highlight abuse at home.

Lazypuppy · 04/09/2018 13:02

If you cancel you'll be 'that parent' before you kid has even started!

Original poster
Creeper8 · 04/09/2018 13:22

I dont care if im that parent tbh. Not having people in my house snooping!

OP posts:
Original poster
Creeper8 · 04/09/2018 13:23

Especially as its onbviously not standard otherwise everywhere would do it! not being treated like im under suspicion of abuse.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 04/09/2018 13:31

I think MrsTerryPratchett makes a valid point, we should go and check them out in their home environment too.

However, it causes no harm them coming over, it's good for them to see your DC at their most relaxed and at home and seriously, why cancel? Do you want to start off on the wrong foot. Your DC will be there for years, just suck it up, do a lot of inward eye rolling, they'll have a quick cuppa and bugger off. They won't be snooping, they will sit down, have a quick chat, try and engage with your kid and then go.

Lazypuppy · 04/09/2018 13:33

On suspicion of abuse? That is such an over reaction! Completely normal for home visits in my area, i think they're fine.

You've put this on AIBU, a lot of people have said you are but you're ignoring them cayse its not what you want to hear.

I feel sorry for your child, like a pp said, he'll be the only child who didn't get a visit from the teacher

BarnabyBungle · 04/09/2018 13:42

I dont care if im that parent tbh. Not having people in my house snooping!

Ffs. They’re popping round your house for a few minutes to chat to you and your son.... they’re not going to be sneaking into your underwear drawer! Why the paranoia?

bobstersmum · 04/09/2018 13:45

Wow op! Relax! It's nothing like checking up on you. It's a lovely way to have a one on one chat about anything you might want to ask, or mention about your child in private. We had one last year and got one tomorrow, quite looking forward to it!

bobstersmum · 04/09/2018 13:49

Your school isn't in Lancashire and the initials of it pp are they? When you said 90 kids, not that many schools are that big, ours is. If it's the same school I can really tell you it's brilliant and you've nothing to worry about, and everyone is asked to book a home visit.

Original poster
Creeper8 · 04/09/2018 13:58

No its se london, very usual for london to have 90. Still cancelling, I have nothing I need to discuss about my child.

OP posts: