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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Going to a barbers as a woman?

42 replies

l0stmummy · 03/09/2018 20:39

In May I buzzed off all my hair. My medication was making my hair very thin and brittle so I thought I'd just do it before it inevitably all snapped off. I did it myself. I hadn't touched it at all, and it was about 2 inches long all over so I decided I needed a tidy up. I just wanted a short back and sides. I had a difficult day so I asked DH to look after DD while I went and made myself feel better.

So I walk into the barbers and ask them for the generic cut they have on the board on the wall. They say no, sorry, we don't serve women. I asked why and they said they "just don't" They're a "men's barbers and cut men's hair." I told them I want a men's haircut, nothing crazy just a simple back and sides. But they still insisted not to serve me.

I'm currently sat at home all upset, because I don't understand why it was wrong to ask for a barber, who specializes in men's hairstyles, to give me a men's hairstyle. Was I being unreasonable going to a barbers? Should I have gone to a normal salon?

(There was no advertising on the building or online that this was a men's only salon)

OP posts:

vanillasky1001 · 03/09/2018 20:42

They’re weird. I have short hair and am a woman and occasionally go to barbers. Not that often cos I do come out looking like a man, but they don’t seem that bothered.

glintandglide · 03/09/2018 20:44

Barbers don’t usually do women’s hair. They’re not trained or qualified to, even if you insist you want a mans cut they then have no defense if you do go on to complain

Grilledaubergines · 03/09/2018 20:46

Not sure of why that would be other than barbers aren’t skilled to the same level as a air stylist - perhaps they weren’t confident in the finish.

Just try another next time.

Grilledaubergines · 03/09/2018 20:46

*hair

Ivygarden · 03/09/2018 20:48

I tried to go to one to have my short hair cut; the barber said that they weren’t insured to cut women’s hair. It annoyed me too as they’d probably have done a better job than a salon.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 03/09/2018 20:49

It's annoying, isn't it?

A friend who's a hairdresser, and cuts for men and women, says it might be because they don't want women's hairdressers getting pissed off at women getting charged a tenner for a short haircut when women's hairdressers usually charge ridiculously more. It is irritating, though.

PaddysMarket · 03/09/2018 20:49

My local barbers is owned by 2 women, one of them will only do males, she won't even give my young DD a trim.

JynxaSmoochum · 03/09/2018 20:50

There's two barbers in the salon where I take my sons. One is a former hairdresser and gives them their longer hair cuts (not that long, still collar length) but the other one won't do them as he doesn't have the skills for that style.

There's nothing actually different about men's and women's hair other than bias of preferred hair styles.

OftenHangry · 03/09/2018 20:51

There was a court case in 2015 and barber didn't discriminate. Apparently insurance often has the "cutting men's hair" in a so it would be invalid if something went wrong cutting female hair

OftenHangry · 03/09/2018 20:53

@LRDtheFeministDragon that actually sounds really believable

DarkLikeVader · 03/09/2018 20:53

The barbers in my town wouldn’t entertain the idea of shaving my undercut - slightly less than half my head, grade one, nothing fancy - because I’m a woman. Instead I have to make appointments and spend quite a lot getting a ladies hairdresser to do it 😑 luckily I found a place that specialises in children’s hair who’ll do it every month but it still costs £7.

Original poster

l0stmummy · 03/09/2018 20:54

Afterwards, I contacted the salon in the town near by but they wanted £38 when the barber was charging £16 for the same haircut! I didn't really mind if I came out looking like a man, anything is better than looking like a chia pet

OP posts:

curious86 · 03/09/2018 20:56

As a barber I work in a men's barbers and we have women come in and ask but we are not aloud as we are a barbers who specialise in men's hair. It is the choice of the owner.

TeddybearBaby · 03/09/2018 20:57

My DP is a barber. Cuts women’s hair in there all the time. He is a trained stylist though originally so maybe that makes a difference...... Sorry you’re feeling down. What area are you in?

Original poster

l0stmummy · 03/09/2018 20:58

Oxfordshire

OP posts:

TeddybearBaby · 03/09/2018 20:58

He’s trained in women’s and men’s hair I mean x

ShedDevon · 03/09/2018 20:59

I’m a hairdresser and Hairdressing for women and barbering have different insurances.

I’m qualified for women and not for men.

However I’m not stupid I know how to cut men’s basic (not that good at a skin fade) so I’m offered out at my skill level by my salon.

At home without insurance I don’t do men privately.

Maybe th salon are like me, obviously concerned about the ‘where there’s blame there’s a claim’ situation happening and would rather not do a cut outside there skill/insurance level.

That said why they didn’t explain it like me o don’t know.

Original poster

l0stmummy · 03/09/2018 20:59

If it's a legal issue I completely understand. I just wish they had explained that instead of just standing there saying "we don't cut women's hair. Because we don't"

OP posts:

TeddybearBaby · 03/09/2018 21:00

That’s a shame, I’m not nearby. Why don’t you phone up some other barbers before you go in. Bet they’re all busy at the moment with schools going back. Maybe on Thursday they’ll be quieter and nicer.

PorkFlute · 03/09/2018 21:02

Doesn’t surprise me. My sons barber wouldn’t take a cm off my dds fringe when we were in there with him. I guess they worry women will complain that they haven’t had a high quality cut even if they say they just want some off the back and sides.

Hedgehogblues · 03/09/2018 21:04

I've found you do usually have to shop around before you find one but they do exist. I always get my hair cut at the barbers.

BumDisease · 03/09/2018 21:04

Why can't you just go to a hairdresser?

TeddybearBaby · 03/09/2018 21:08

I remember a lady coming in who had a lot on her plate. She had a 13 year old son with cancer and went into a depression. She didn’t wash her hair for months and it became matted. She plucked up the courage to go to the hairdressers and they looked at her in disgust and told her she had to find a barber who would shave it all off with clippers because nothing else could be done. My DP took her to the back of the shop and calmed her down because she was crying so much and brushed / cut it and she ended up with a bob. Sometimes I think people just aren’t very nice. I hate hairdressers, I find them intimidating x

Dionysus78 · 03/09/2018 21:09

I feel your pain. I remember walking into a barbers at the age of twelve (alone). The owner said 'you know we're a barbers, we don't do girls hair'. I said I just wanted it cutting very short, and to his credit he gave me a short back and sides. That was around 1990. About two years ago I went to a hairdressers for a short fashion cut with shaved undercut, and the hairdressers were hopeless and un-confident with clippers. It ended up fine, but had I know how long it would take I'd have bought clippers and done it myself.

PorkFlute · 03/09/2018 21:09

Hairdressers generally charge about 3 times as much!

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